Chatological Humor (Jan 14)

Jan 14, 2020

You asked for it and you got it. Gene holds weekly mini-chats every Tuesday at 12 p.m. ET, where he takes your questions about what's happening in the country — and anything else you want to discuss.

Here was this week's poll.

Good afternoon. 

Last evening I was thinking about how to entertain you all in today's introduction when I happened upon this video clip from the mid 1950s.   It is the opening act of The Mickey Mouse Club show.   I had seen it as a child many, many times.   It is unbearably corny and surprisingly well done: These little kids can tap dance pretty well.  It's kind of a lost art. 

But then I was gobsmacked by the sudden, startling appearance of one Mousketeer, Roy.    I had no memory of Roy.   Mouseketeer Roy arrives like a soft kiss from the hard end of a fist.  

How the hell did he get in there?   I looked him up.  This is from Wikipedia and it is verbatim.   Roy was a guy named Roy Williams. 

Williams was born in Colville, Washington and raised in Los Angeles, where he attended Fremont High School. After graduating, he was hired as an artist by Walt Disney in 1930. He worked on animated shorts while attending Chouinard Art Institute at night. He later also developed story ideas for Disney. He also designed over 100 insignias for the U.S. armed forces during World War II, and is credited with designing the mouse ears worn on the Mickey Mouse Club. Disney director Jack Kinney described Williams as a "big fat balding hot-headed unpredictable bastard" but hugely admired his prolific talent, saying that he could "sit down and grunt out a few pounds of gags as if it were nothing".

Ergo, Roy the Mouseketeer. 

That's your entertainment for the morning.  

Take the poll.  See you at noon sharp 

an awfully daring poll!

It's one of the great strengths of this chat.  We go where others do not dare. 

Skittles are sweet nothings. My motto is "if it's not chocolate, it's not dessert". Ok, I had a trifle once that was incredible but the chocolate thing really applies to candy. Things like skittles are just fake fruit chemicals, sugar and artificial colors and not worth the calories. I notice that was the one choice in the poll where the vast majority agreed with me. (and I'm not thrilled with the artificial colors in M&M's either, that's why I prefer my chocolate plain)

Nonsense.   Fireballs, SweetTarts, NickleNips, Dots, Swedish Fish.   All fine candies.  Other nominations?

But making us choose between fish and shellfish is weird -- it's like comparing apples and oranges, except that idiom has never really held up because oranges are clearly better. I went with fish for the same reason as mustard: fish is more varied. There's more kinds of fish and they can be prepared in so many different ways.

Okay, I was surprised -- positively -- by your answers to these questions.   I expected ketchup to be a strong favorite over mustard (a Philistine triumph, had it happened) and fish to be a strong favorite over shellfish.   I love both fish and shellfish -- my favorite foods -- but if a Nazi held a gun to the head of a loved one, I'd go for shellfish.  I didn't expect so many of you to make the same choice.   

As to the notion that fish is more varied than shellfish, I;m sure that is correct, but consider: 

Oysters, clams, Maine lobster, spiny lobster, shrimp, prawns, scallops, mussels, blue crab, snow crab, king crab, Dungeness crab, stone crab, soft-shell crab, squid, snails, octopus, crayfish, conch, langostino, sea urchin, cockles, abalone, etc.   You know? 

I'm weeping with laughter at the clip, the two-by-four to the side of the head appearance of Roy Williams as a Mouseketeer and the his boss's priceless description of him. Thank you!

Very few things online actually make me laugh out loud.  This did.  And I watched that show -- it was the fixed intro, every week -- and I cannot recall, at five, finding anything unusual about this portly ole Mouseketeer.  

On the topic of your twitter poll "does Donald Trump know or suspect how dumb and ignorant he is?" I think he remains convinced of his genius because of his rabid fan base turning everything he says into gospel. In theory, he might think something he has said was not too bright, but since he is constantly upheld as a genius by his supporters, his staff, and the cabinet (that video where they go around the room praising him comes to mind), he has the affirmation of his genius he craves.

As someone who has occasionally had someone point something out that really and truly makes me doubt my intelligence, knowledge, character, etc. -- I do think that it's hard, inside, not to cringe a little.  Plus, his deficits are so great that I think at some level, he kind of knows that to remain "in charge" he needs to persuade himself to ignore these things.  I think that on some primitive level, He Knows. 

I'm only a year younger than you, I think, but I don't remember that intro. I do remember the M-I-C-K-E-Y song though. I thought that was in the beginning too with different words. I guess it's because I was only 2-4 in the mid-50's.

Meeska mooska mouseketeer!  Mouse cartoon time now is here! 

Scatological?

Absolutely!   A great line.  No other way to interpret it. 

I'm the sweet nothings person here. I used to like those candies too, And then I grew up.

If you tell me you feel the same about SweeTTarts, we are through.  I loved you, once.  

I preferred all the things on the right: mustard (ketchup is too sweet) sprouts (I like both but if I have to choose...) croissants (bagels are too bread-y) shellfish (this isn't a contest IMO) M&Ms (skittles taste like straight sugar) I can't wait for you to tell me how I am wrong even though you like white chocolate which is lard with sugar in it.

I too chose all from the right. 

I don't have a question, but I just read your book, "One Day." It was brilliant! You are such a gifted story teller.

Shhh.  Paul Farhi will hear you. 

So I'm about halfway through "One Day" and it is truly amazing. Do you think you would ever do a chat specifically devoted to the book? I have so many questions and you have answered some of them along the way but I think a chat solely devoted to the book would be great. I can't imagine how much work you put into the project to end up with the book you produced.

It's a good idea.  That way I could never again address it here!  I will talk to the Post about it.  They tend to frown on self-promotion, for good reason.  But that would also open me up to criticism, of which I am SURE there is some, and some of it withering.  Haven't heard it yet, but it would be a way of summoning it.  

...like Jelly Belly or Gimbel's. Also, candy corn, but only in the original orange wax flavor.

Yeah, on jelly beans.  One of the few areas in which Reagan and I were in agreement. 

I once saw or read an interview where he said something to the effect of "I don't like to analyze myself too much, I might not like what I see." So I think there's a glimmer of self-awareness in there somewhere. Or there was until his brain started turning to pudding.

I like that quote.  Suggest more self-awareness than I thought he had, actually. 

Turkish paste, but it has to be the imported stuff, not the artificial, day-glo replicas sold in boardwalk candy shops. My wife gets me a box every Christmas and it is invariably my favorite present. Subtle flavors, subtle colors. No chocolate needed.

You mean Halvah?   

It would be news to squid and octopus to find out that they're shellfish. They are mollusks, and while all shellfish are mollusks, not all mollusks are shellfish.

Believe it or not, they are categorized as shellfish.   I checked before I wrote that list.   No, I cannot explain it, but it did lengthen my list. 

I note that Louis C.K. is back on tour. He'll be in D.C. in March. Too soon? Or enough time has passed? Was he ever really funny?

WAS HE EVER REALLY FUNNY???? 

This stuns me! I also grew up with the MMC and thought I (heard/read/assumed) that Roy was Walt Disney's brother. I have lived with this fallacy for over 55 years! Now I am questioning other things, like my apparently irrational preference for ketchup over mustard.

I have a good friend who also made the same presumption.  Disney's brother.  I think it's because Disney had a brother named Roy.  And it sure would explain the weirdness of Roy the Mouseketeer. 

When you write pieces like the ones in "One Day," are they generally close to final after your first draft or do you end up doing a lot of editing? I was thinking about that as I read the first story about Dr. Lefrak and the way it flows so perfectly despite have many off ramps and diversions. That kind of pacing seems very difficult to come by and your long pieces always have it. And who does most of your editing, do you do it yourself, is it Tom the (Non) Butcher, or some other cadre?

I am constantly editing and re-editing.  Obsessively.  Tom the Butcher is utterly useless except for the times when he saves me totally or writes an important line or instructs me about what a blithering incompetent I am, which is often, and generally correct.  Other than that, he is just an empty shell. 

It's never tasted like anything to me, but people seem to love it.

Yes.  Even better?  Halibut. 

I voted Skittles, but I really only like the "sour" ones.

I find Skittles kind of weird.   Always have.  They look like m&ms but taste like sourballs or something.  Never got used to that .  It's like someone made a hot dog that tastes like sour cream.   

Just learned that “of the first water” means about the same as “of the first order”.

This is probably sailing of the heads of most of the readers. 

"Of the first water" means, basically, "the best of its kind."  It's a very old term used to grade the very best diamonds.  "Of the first order," near as I can tell, was a more modern corruption of this term, much as "you have another thing coming" is a corruption of "you have another think coming."  (See my column from Sunday.)  

The truly odd thing is that "of the first order" has taken on a new meaning in modernity, referring to the original sequencing of the Star Wars sequels and prequels. 

I hope this helps. 

I saw your post on Facebook about your publisher making signed copies of your book available through Politics & Prose. And it got me wondering: when people purchase a signed copy of your book, are they actually getting a book that you signed when it was already a book? I’m asking because I just finished reading Calypso, the latest book by David Sedaris. And he writes that he took 5,000 blank sheets of paper with him on a vacation to Hawaii, where he claims to have signed each of those 5,000 sheets so that he could send them back to his publisher, who would then have them bound into copies of his book. So (assuming that he's writing this time about something that actually happened) he didn’t actually sign the book; he signed pieces of paper that were then turned into pages in the front of the book. (It certainly makes sense; he couldn’t very well take 5,000 books with him to Hawaii.)

Never heard of this.   It does make sense.   

I go into Politics & Prose periodically and sign books.  Actual books.  You can get 'em from the P&P website.

Hey, is there a techie out there who can explain why some urls seem to include http and some do not, and both seem to work as links?

There might actually be something to this. I’m gonna predict that if your butt is shaped like J Lo’s, straight men gonna like ya. Hey, I was right!

This is in reference to my assertion that, like horoscopes, you can predict a person's fortune by other non-intuitive measures, such as the shape of your butt. 

I do think you are painting with a pretty broad brush, sir.  Ha. 

This is truly excellent.  

And for those of us who do not eat any seafood?

You are very sad people and do not belong in this chat.  Unless you are vegetarians, in which case we will accept you reluctantly.  

Trump did say, "I don’t like to analyze myself because I might not like what I see." But I think that's about the most honest and identifiable thing he has said. As my philosophy professor said, "The unexamined life may not be worth living, but an examined life can be a real pain in the ass."

Nice. 

I sent this idea by e-mail but since you just got praised for your last book I want to challenge you again. Sad and difficult topic - mass shootings. In the days after the media focuses on the victims, how sad it is their life was cut short, how difficult it is for the family. There is another group of victims - the shooter's family. They will live with the stigma the rest of their lives. They will second guess themselves wondering if they could have done something. It is a notoriety they never asked for and do not want. How do they cope?

Maybe, but not yet.  My next book is going to be something that doesn't nearly kill me.  You know, something I can, uh, grunt out in a few months. 

You can’t choose because there are different reasons to use both ketchup and mustard. You don’t put gas in your tires or air in your fuel tank. Similarly, you don’t put mustard on your fries or ketchup on your hot dog.

Many people do both of those things.   Also Mayo on fries.  The Belgians are big on that.  It's pretty good.  

Or, you know, keep Kosher.

Kosher folks can eat fish!   So long as it has scales and gills.  So most fish is good, other than catfish and a few others.  As I recall.  If I am wrong, please have at me. 

Gene, you're being awfully mean to people with life-threatening allergies.

Well, only if you believe I am serious. 

Are there allergies to ALL seafood -- fish AND shellfish?

Neil Gaiman goes into airport bookstores and signs his books. I assume he carries ID when the clerk confronts him vandalizing the books.

I have done it, too . But I ask permission first.   For one thing, that notifies the bookstore, and they can affix a "signed by" sticker to the front. 

or bread made with a lot of butter. Who choses bagels?

There are fabulous bagels.  They must be plain, though.  Whoever came up with the concept of onion bagels, or, like chocolate bagels?   Whoever they are ... well, they hate Jews.  Sorry. 

Related to last week's discussion: what does it mean to turn the air conditioning up or down? Does the direction refer to the temperature setting (up = warmer, down = colder) or to the function of the unit (vice-versa)?

Good point!  I have no answer for that. 

Yuck. But how about honey on fries? When my daughter was about 5, we saw her dipping her French fries in honey at a restaurant. We reacted about how you'd expect, which is to say, "Ewwww!" But she shut us down perfectly with, "Have you tried it? Then how do you know you don't like it?" (BTW, French fries dipped in honey is one of those things that sounds awful but is actually pretty good.)

Doesn't sound awful to me! 

Yes.

Well, those people are warmly welcomed to this chat. 

I just learned from the podcast "Underunderstood" that some women turn toilet seats blue when they're pregnant! No one really knows why, but one theory is that hormonal changes cause chromhidrosis, a condition which turns sweat different colors. Usually the sweat is yellow, but antimicrobial coatings on toilet seats might turn it blue. And yes, everyone, they have eliminated the possibility that this phenomenon is caused by blue jeans.

But as I understand it, ladies don't perspire. 

Now that you've written that mayo is "pretty good" on fries, I can discount anything else you ever write.

Sigh.   Belga cafe.   Eastern Market, DC.  Go.  Order fries.  Report back.  And I will accept your apology. 

This sounds terrible.... but tastes amazing. Especially if the mayo is actually garlic aioli.

Exactly. 

The chats have been a lot about cats lately so thought I'd even the playing field with a dog story. We adopted a big yellow lab about 10 years ago and when we got him he was a bag of bones. So, his entire life, he has been obsessed with food, big enough to raid the kitchen counters and even open kitchen cabinets. The dog is not the brightest except when it comes to food, then he's a genius. On Thanksgiving Day, our refrigerator died, we had to pack leftovers and other food into coolers. It took him approximately 3 minutes to open a cooler, remove a casserole dish and put it on the floor, remove the plastic snap cover on the dish and eat all the scalloped potatoes. What a dog.

This reminds me of a dog in my Old Dog book.   She was a great dog, but seemed to always put on weight.  The family did everything they could to control this: Reduce food intake, increase exercise, etc.   They were worried about her health, and there was one other sign of a problem:  She seemed to have a pee problem, asking to go out in the backyard at, like, 3 a.m.  

Eventually, from their next door neighbor, they learned what was going on.  She was crossing over to the next yard at 3 a.m., going into the house through the doggie door, and eating the neighbor dog's food.  

Problem solved. 

The question omitted a distinction of great importance: what kind of mustard? If it's real New York deli mustard, Dijon, or anything like that, my answer is "mustard"; if it's that abomination known as French's, my answer is "ketchup."

Even French's does okay on hot dog's. 

Yes, that apostrophe was deliberate.  

Hi, Gene. You very likely caught this one, but just in case not, check out the second graf

I didn't!  Nice.   

https://slate.com/human-interest/2020/01/little-kids-farting-care-and-feeding.html

This whole thing is nice, but particularly the term "fart management."

I haven't cut my toenails in at least 10 years. Am I a bad person? They seem to take care of themselves. It's not due to disability, I could put my toes in my mouth if I wanted to (just did) and don't have to go through contortions to wipe myself like some people. I just figure my toenails are like the kids at the Freedom School in Billy Jack. What did we do before the invention of toenail clippers?

I let my toenails get too long, and I have reached the age and flexibility challenge where it is still possible to cut my own toenails but a bit more comfortable to have someone else cut them.   It is a scary development but it is really nice to have someone who loves you.  I don't want to suggest that is the ONLY reason it is nice to have someone who loves you, but it is not of negligible import.  

We discretely perspire in private places, like ladies rooms. They are rooms that let us do the upkeep needed to retain our lady status, that's the true origin of the name.

Thank you.  

No

I cannot understand anyone who likes standup and didn't like Louis.   Yes, in retrospect some of his stuff is hard to stomach now.  And a reasonable case can be made that he should be boycotted indefinitely.   And I used to like him personally and no longer do.   But to deny he was funny?  Don't get it. 

Got one at East City Books, a great independent book store on Capitol Hill.

I love that place.  Great staff.  The buyer for children's books is a genius. 

Yes. My daughter has both. She cannot be in a room where they are cooking either, or walk past a display of raw fish in a market without holding her breath. Somebody microwaving shrimp lo mein is enough to keep her out of school for a day.

WOW.   Please invite her into this chat as my personal guest. 

Do you have any qualms about eating an animal as clever and personable (ha!) as an octopus? (For the record, I have issues with eating pork for the same reason; they're at least as smart and personable as dogs)

I do.  Every day.  Seriously.  It is the central hypocrisy of my life. 

I keep seeing stories about Donnie, Junior being prepped for a big life in politics. Huh?? I despise his father but do recognize a certain snake oil salesman panache. Junior's dopey and dull, all the worst Trump qualities with the added bonus that he likes slaughtering animals. What am I missing?

His name is "Trump."   We elected George W, you know?  Name recognition. It's pathetic, but true.  

I've been learning about narcissism recently, for obvious reasons. (I think there's ample evidence to make this particular armchair diagnosis.) What motivates narcissists is a deep feeling of inadequacy and shame, which is why their compensation feels so over-the-top to the rest of us. Deep down, Trump feels he is not as good as... his father, the elite of NY, other politicians, etc. etc. It feels good to hear others say he is the best, and he wishes it were true, but fears it isn't. That's why he needs to be constantly reassured. The man is miserable (but dealing with it in the worst possible way, of course).

That all makes sense.  

As an older "millennial" (early 30s), I am shocked at how many people my age and younger seem to be interested in astrology, which I had always assumed mainly appealed to older generations. I see posts on social media from acquaintances about how well they feel they match their signs more often than I'd expect, and I don't have to the heart to ask if they really believe in it. The concept that the way you're born determines your immutable characteristics makes me quite uncomfortable, and I wonder if people think of its ramifications. I suspect that most folks just want something to latch on to that helps make sense of the chaos of every day life.

I think there will always be something supernatural a lot of people gnaw onto.  So yes, I agree. 

Annette ended up a bit of a movie star; Cheryl ended up an actress on 60's TV, mostly as Wally Cleaver's girlfriend and Bobby ended up the Lawrence Welk dancer. Any others ? And I remember Roy. He really never seemed to fit.

Dunno.  Anyone?  

Annette's story was ultimately tragic.   

I remember when we first got a TV (I'm your age) and being so happy that now I could watch the MM club, which I had first seen on a friend's TV. Hope I got the apostrophes right.

You meant apostrophe's. 

I consider you reasonably knowledgeable about baseball, your benighted rooting interests notwithstanding. So I'm curious what you think about the punishment meted out to the Astros' GM and field manager. It bugs me a little that the players involved will face no direct consequences (indirectly, of course, there will always be a bit of an asterisk next to their World Series title).

I agree entirely with Boswell today, as I usually do. 

Do you ever read the other Post chats at all? It's funny how each one has its own personality. Sietsema and the Travel chatters especially are unfailingly polite and civilized. Boswell is like taking a statistics class every week. And my man Hank Stuever is hilariously rude to his posters (but we keep coming back for more). The thing about this chat is it has no consistent theme or feel whatsoever. Anything can happen!

A total cipher, I'm!  / I might even answer in rhyme.

Last night for the LSU-Clemson game, we had hotdogs. My husband put mayo on his. I'll now probably have to file for divorce.

I can see that working. 

I may be the only non-Protestant on Earth who likes mayonnaise. 

The question, for those of us who find him hilarious, who find enjoyment in his humor, who take a break from the monotony of the day in listening to him, is why should we deny ourselves the pleasure of listening to him because of something he did? Aren't we punishing ourselves over his sins?

It's more complicated than that.  When you understand the particular depravity he embraced, some of his routines seem wildly creepy now.  I am thinking about his interaction with the librarian, but there are others.  They come from a bad place.  I never assumed that before.   Here is the library one.  Alert: Bad language, and severely bad vibes. 

I consider myself a bit of a mustard connoisseur/obsessive (I'm alarmed that I'm down to only six different kinds in my fridge right now), and I say, definitively, that yellow mustard is the only mustard that should be used on hot dogs and egg sandwiches. No, not dijon or stone ground or whathaveyou. Yellow mustard. And if you haven't had yellow mustard on an egg sandwich before, you need to rectify that soon.

You said rectify. 

Haven't seen the Sunday column yet, but I'm sticking with "another thinG coming." Sorry - if it was good enough for Judas Priest, it's good enough for me.

You cannot defend it.  It is indefensible. 

The only pair I hesitated on was the first. Up until maybe ten years ago, I'd have probably said ketchup. But the less I have burgers and fries - which is rare, now - the less I use that, anymore. We have none in the house. I use mustard on most other kinds of sandwiches, though, so I guess I'd have to say that I prefer that, at this point. Unfortunately, my other 4 choices-- brussels sprouts, bagels, fish and m&ms will likely net me a failing grade from our judgmental host.

I am impressed by anyone's Brussels choice.  They are famously and unfairly degraded.   My choice, too.  

I pick croissant over bagel, but it's close and I make no judgments about those who disagree.  I will say that a bad bagel is a lot worse than a bad croissant. 

That was easy! No fretting from me. (Ketchup, brussels sprouts, fish, bagel, m&m) OK ... slight (non-stressful) pause between fish and shellfish. When you read all five things together, you see that it would be the most disgusting sandwich ever.

Only the fish-ketchup combo gives me serious pause. 

M&Ms aren't even in the top 50 of chocolate candies but they beat out skittles by miles and miles. Swedish Daim mini chocolates are my favorite.

Well, aren't we frou-frou?

My son is a sophomore in college, so of course he knows everything. I have been a copyeditor since 1992. In his mind that doesn't mean I have expertise; instead, I'm hopelessly old. He insists "alright" is one word now. If you disagree with him, would you please explain why he is wrong? A lot is riding on this. He found Wikipedia's list of English words with disputed usage and excitedly called it a gold mine of ways to irritate me (only he said "aggravate"). If you agree with him, he'll not only use them all in disputed ways, he'll pronounce the t in "often."

The ONLY thing on his side of this argument is that Dylan uses it in "It's Alright Ma." BUT he also wrote "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right," and he wrote that earlier, so I contend Alright, which I think was Dylan's favorite song, was deliberately illiterate, to make a point. 

Please note to your son my use of the word illiterate.  He will say "Okay, Boomer."  Which is fine.   Just tell him "No problem, Little Z-Boy. "

I assume all kinds of skittles and m&ms were open for debate. Regular m&ms are meh. But peanut m&ms are amazing, especially mixed into buttered popcorn. It's one of my favorite guilty pleasures!

Peanut and chocolate is an abomination.  God has so declared it, so. 

A friend in college had a cat who occasionally left headless bodies of small lizards on her patio.  Weird and gross, but kinda normal bc cats do weird, gross stuff.  It did go to the next level though, when she moved out - she discovered a pile of tiny lizard heads under her bed.

Thank you. 

I'd like to share (as an indexer for the National Library of Medicine) that SNOT is now officially a MeSH heading. Of course it's just a synonym/acronym for the Sino-Nasal Outcome Test but I think SNOT is much better. One that could have been a made up term for a SI contest.

Thank you.  Obvious that acronym was deliberate scientific sedition. 

Tap Dancing is an American-invented art form developed in New York City by African American developing it alongside Irish immigrants. It was eventually appropriated by people like the Mouseketeers and Shirley Temple. https://www.vox.com/videos/2017/5/23/15362626/how-tap-dancing-was-made-in-america

Sure.   White people stole a LOT of stuff from black people.  We specialized in it.   Elvis is particularly galling because (sometimes) he stole and ruined.   

Hi Gene and Happy New Year! Roy used to also show up at Disneyland in the early days drawing caricatures, usually near Small World. We thought that it was pretty cool, but clearly no one under 50 would get the appeal.

Yeah, apparently he was both grumpy and sweet.  A nice combination. 

Do Democrats realize that if they nominate Sanders, they'll select the worst possible candidate to run against Trump? Good lord.

I don't think we know that yet.  But I really do cringe at supposedly loyal Dems who say they'd vote for Bernie even if they thought he had a significantly worse chance of beating Trump than other candidates.  Though they seldom concede that last part. 

I am a 38 year old single gal who is just about to close on my first house. I've lived in rental apartments my entire adult life. At a certain point, when I realized it was silly to wait around for Mr. Right before investing in a house, I decided to jump in. I'm excited but nervous. Any tips or recommendations? This feels like a serious deep end jump into real adulthood. So I figured you'd have some valuable insights?

I don't because I am incompetent at living as an adult.  Anyone?  

Oh grammar master, explain to me how "thinks" come to a person? Think is a verb, thought is a noun. I have thoughts. I don't have thinks. Thoughts come to me, thinks don't.

You isn't no writer, pally.   

As my friends and I say, you may have to turn in your Noo Yawkuh card! But I actually agreed -- a good bagel is hard to find, whereas a mediocre croissant is still pretty tasty. And I wouldn't eat even a great bagel plain (maybe a bite, but not the whole thing), but a croissant is great on its own.

That's because a croissant already incorporates a lot of butter.  

I may use a modern form of the expression, but at least when I to to face the Great Editor in the Sky, I'll be able to say I've never used "think" as a noun.

What is the "thing" that is coming?  A giant boot from the sky? 

In your Siskel/Ebert piece, you used the term "died unexpectedly" which drives me nuts! Who doesn't expect to die?

Not following.   I mean, obviously it means died when he had no idea he was sick.   You might be being a pedant. 

If you don't like Reese's Cups you have severe problems.

They are yech.  We have discussed this before. 

 

On what basis does the reader assume that Sanders can't beat Trump? A lot of Trumpers in the midwest - which is where the election was lost - were on board with either one.

I SAID it was too early to reach that conclusion. 

...if you know you're going to be in your house for a long time. If your job moves you, etc, you'll be 0-for-life on real estate the way I am from moving too often.

Noted.  And thank you all.  A very spirited debate.  I am so sorry so very many of you think chocolate and peanuts, together, are ambrosia.   You may all have a neurological problem, like people who smell matches burning when there are no matches burning.  It's nothing to be embarrassed over. 

See you all next week. 

nounINFORMAL an act of thinking. "I went for a walk to have a think"

And yes. 

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Gene Weingarten
Gene Weingarten is the humor writer for The Washington Post. His column, Below the Beltway, has appeared weekly in the Post's Sunday magazine since July 2000 and has been distributed nationwide on The Los Angeles Times-Washington Post News Service. He was awarded the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing.

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