ComPost Live with Alexandra Petri

Jan 23, 2018

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Live chat with Alexandra Petri at 11 a.m. ET. Submit questions and comments for her to respond to now.

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Connect on Twitter: @petridishes And catch up with the blog here!

Happy Tuesday, all! Let’s get to it!

But we don't give groundhogs on Groundhog's Day?

This is inexplicable and I think we ought to start. 

or an Eeyore?

Ooh, I like this concept. Let’s keep going with fictional personality divides! 

I’m a Pooh, definitely. 

Are you a Bert or an Ernie?

I'm lost.

Good news: more journey!

Instead of fasting, I spent last weekend Fausting.

“Hm, your blood is fine, but I’m no longer detecting the presence of a soul?”

The bad news is you only have limited data.

is this a Good Place spoiler?

Next, I got a diamond ring from Amazon, but it turned out to be brass, so I shipped it back. Then, I got a looking glass from Amazon, but it broke in transit, so I shipped it back. What should I get next?

An Amazon distribution center, located near you! 

something something caveat something about how Jeff Bezos the founder and CEO of amazon is also the owner of the Post 

It's given me a Bluetooth.

Ha, the words for technology are the same as the words for fruit!! 

Although I have to say, your mention of a BlackBerry in 2018 really took me out of the world created by your joke.

It calls for either raccoon or bacon.

do half and half, just to be sure!

I noticed there are a lot of "ject" words and that seemed weird to me. I figured they couldn't be from the same root. eject, abject, deject, inject, object, reject, conject(ure), project, subject, traject(ory). But it turns out ject is from Latine jacere "to throw" and they are all related: ab away. e out. de down. in into. ob in the way of. re back. con together. pro forth. sub under. trans across. I know. I need a real hobby.

no, this is a terrific hobby! I have no objections! 

Oh, but I DO: Groundhog shaped cookies! You can order the cutters from Punxsutawney. I make a thin almond wafer dough, then after the cookies are baked, coat them lightly in melted bittersweet chocolate. Yummy! LINK:

but Easter is April Fool's Day. There has to be a government shutdown joke or metaphor here...

“Babe, I’m EXTRA excited for Valentine’s Day this year!”

“Oh, why is that?”

”’Cause it’s the START OF LENT!!!”

it would turn into a skeleton as you move around.

i would have one where the eyes just followed you wherever you went! 

Relatedly inrelatedly have you all been trying that face recognizing art app?

SpongeBob or Patrick?

ooh, I think Spongebob, but I’m not as familiar with the source text and am just picking him because he wears suspenders. Jeeves or Wooster?

A recording of Carly Simon and James Taylor singing "Mockingbird," but of course.

Squidward and Mr. Krabs are more interesting than Patrick (who is funny, but not as multi-dimensional).

Holmes or Watson? Batman or RObin? Superman or Clark Kent?

I think it depends on the relationship! Definitely Clark Kent all day though...

I have an ex-girlfriend (still a friend) who described me as the "most Pooh person" she'd ever met. She thought of herself as Piglet, but I saw her more as a Tigger.

"They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!"

Turns out he's some tennis guy, and not a character on Game of Thrones. And you know, I think I'm a Rabbit (anxious, control freak, not as nice as I think I am), and I'm a bit sad about it.

Aw, but I think Rabbits don’t know they’re rabbits! Maybe you’re an Owl?

The first time, it found an Elvis portrait as choice one. The next time, from a different angle, it matched me to the man in American Gothic. I know I'm not a beauty contest winner, but...

"inrelatedly"? ...anyway, I haven't tried it but I've been getting e-mailed a lot of really dubious ones. The app picks a matching portrait based on things as simple as facial angle. It's dumb.

I have yet to see a portrait match where I’m like “oh yeah this app was worth it!”

I'm a Pooh, and an Ernie. I'm also a Sam, not a Frodo; a Jeeves, not a Bertie; and a Watson, not a Holmes.

OOH, the elusive Jeeves Ernie combo!!

I hadn't managed to watch Star Wars Episode III before, so I tool last week to re-watch Episodes I and II before embarking on Episode III. Two observations: (1) In episode II, I'm pretty sure that Anakin-Padme violates the "half your age plus seven" dating rule. As a love interest, I found Anakin uncomfortably creepy (and I'm a guy ...) (2) In Episode III - They have flying cars, droids, hyperspace travel, and bionic limb replacement, BUT THEY CAN'T TELL A WOMAN IS CARRYING TWINS UNTIL SHE'S IN LABOR?

this is one of the non-zero ways that Star Wars is a cartoon. We can blow up a planet with our laser! Sonograms? Nope!!

Yeah, I gave my husband a Groundhog puppet one year. You can't give those every year. Well, I can't. I don't have the storage space. (Something something Jeff Bezos Amazon Post...)

Is this the place to hear tales about people's adventures during the shutdown?

It can be! Fire away!

Is it strange that I really like the Post (the newspaper), really dislike Amazon (the company), and feel sort of neutral about Whole Foods? (I have yet to see The Post, the movie, or the Amazon, the river.)

See the movie and river and let us know if your opinion changes!

I'm new here! I don't get it! But I live across the world and this seems a good way to follow up a long day of high schoolers.

hi! don’t worry, I dont get it either! Hope the high schoolers were fun?

I'd rather be employed. Nick or Nora Charles?

Ooh I have never seen the Thin Man so I guess I will throw a dart and say Nora?

I've had several weird instances where it seems like Google is reading my mind. One example is when I was talking on the phone with someone and looking up their address at the same time. She said the name of the avenue she lived on ( a long avenue in a big city) and I typed in just the name of the avenue, nothing else, and it displayed a map and located it on the exact block my friend lived on. How did it know?

In that case you had better think only the kindest thoughts of Google, or this could become a Black Mirror Episode real fast...

Where are we going with Benicio Del Toro? I liked his character because he did not fit nicely in good versus evil like others in the canon. What do you think?

i liked his character because he said “blip bloppity bloop.”

Sometimes I think it would be nice to keep a concise public list with links to all the videos/audios I've been in, so weirdos -- I mean, my fans -- can keep up with my goings on. How bad of an idea is this?

It is a great idea! Ugh, I am coming to understand the appeal of a secretary. 

Or is there even a difference between the two?

Ha, I am whoever usually does the setups! 

I love that they have been going to this show for years explicitly to heckle it. Go see a show you actually like!

I lied about thinking about keeping a public list of links of myself. The important thing is that you fell for it and gave your own opinion. P.S. Don't read this until you've replied to that other one.

I mean, that's like a Finnish goalie named Hokki Laukkanen, or a US football player named Concussion McGee.

I think using that app gives all rights to your face and associated data to Google.

When the action happens, I'm always asking someone what's going on.

total same. 

Sigh... I'm a Pippin. Though that's better than being a Denethor. Oh, hey, maybe I'm Tom Bombadil? Though I don't like honey.

Please, do not wish that on yourself. 

This opens up a new genre. Are you a Sauron or a Saruman? A Boromir or a Faramir? A Gimli or a Legolas? A Pippin or a Merry?

I think I’m a Sauron? I don’t sleep a lot.

except for actually folding and putting away the laundry within 24 hours of washing/drying it. Didn't get to tackle the general papers, the financial papers, the computer updates, cleaning up the DVR, etc. I'm happy enough to be back at work after only 3/4s of a day, but if seems unfair to have had to go through all that set up for nothing. Complete anti-climax.

I’m glad you’re back, but sorry the project time was denied you!

Thelma or Louise? Lady Mary or Lady Edith? Mary or Rhoda?


Neither. I'm a Pongo.

I'm a Rabbit. Bert. Frodo. Jeeves. I'm torn on Watson vs. Holmes. I think that is a hard one. The version matters a lot. I haven't read Doyle recently enough to be sure when you go back to the source material vs. interpretations.

I also think this depends on the friendship. Sometimes you’re the mad genius friend, sometimes you’re the eminent biographer friend. 

Maybe it's just me, but I really hate the prequels.

Ha, and on that note, I should skedaddle. Sorry for the weird lull! I had to log out and in again after I discovered many things were saving but nothing was posting! 

Catch me on the blog ( or twitter (@petridishes)!

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