ComPost Live with Alexandra Petri

Aug 28, 2012

Join us next Tuesday to laugh, cry, and dish about the moments that amused you, shocked you, or caused you to yell things that frightened the other people on the subway.

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Connect on Twitter: @PostLive | @petridishes

Hello! Let's get cracking! It is very temperate here, weather-wise at least!

What did you see Carrie Fisher do to a man, how did you come to see this, and what was your reaction to what you saw?

Ah, someone follows me on Twitter!
I was at the Star Wars celebration this weekend, and managed to make it in to see the Carrie Fisher panel. She is hilarious. At the end of her talk, which ranged over everything from the infamous Return of the Jedi bikini to the infamous original Star Wars hairstyle to the anatomical region the Sarlacc pit resembles, I forget how exactly we arrived at this point, but she wound up spanking her interviewer. With what looked like a spoon? I think? Maybe that is kitchen-implementist of me. It was basically all one could have hoped from a Carrie Fisher panel.

Your Friday column putting the remark in context of the Michigan Hospitals didn't help explain the cluelessness of the 64-year-old; for his being "endorsed" by Birther Donald Trump it's unlikely that Romney wasn't aware of the kerfuffle. Will anyone ask Romney about his first 100 days of office planning to dismantle the Obama home brewing operation? It just seems like he and Ann will be polar opposites of the First Couple.

Oh, I hadn't thought about the beer consequences! Dang. Well, hopefully by then the recipe will be out so the famed honey-tinged beer will not perish from the earth.

I think Romney is aware of the kerfuffle. But what he said Friday was not in his prepared remarks. Then again it seems unlikely that anyone would ever hand you a sheet of paper saying "Make a birther joke now!" To what extent it was premeditated, with all its ramifications lovingly sketched forth, is, I think, debatable. I don't presume to peer into anyone's internal controls, and but my general operating assumption is that people are more often incompetent than malevolent, so whenever I am given the choice between "subtle, knowing, subliminally poisoning message control" and "ill-considered remark," I usually assume the latter. Either way, it's not a thing one hopes to hear from a candidate for president.

Did you know that Rose Wilder Lane -- daughter of Laura Ingalls Wilder -- was a contemporary disciple of our favorite Libertarian? Who knew that The Little House on the Prarie books and television series were attempts to sway the minds of children to the Rand worldview?

I had no idea!

But why weren't there more fetishized trains?

Did the Post stop running Miss Manners? Despite not being very mannerly myself, I love that lady. There's something so deliciously satisfying about her way of politely informing her readers that the way they're doing things is oh, so wrong. But you all run it irregularly at best, and the latest column on her page (the only place I can actually find them) is from August 16. Please say she'll come back!

 I too am an avid reader of Miss Manners! I thought I still saw her once a week in the print paper! I don't know the answer but I hope she comes back soon. Losing her would be a deplorable absence of etiquette! If I find out anything I'll let you know!

"The moon will miss its first son of earth." Who phrases things like that?

Mitt Romney.

Romney is Mr. Off-the-cuff. Can't you hear him right now saying "@#$% 'em if they can't take a joke!" to his staff? The man is looser than Clinton Portis in a room of feather boas.

Clearly you are chatting from some alternate universe. How is the economy there? Who is president? ARE THERE FLYING SKATEBOARDS?

That's all I'll say on that.


Is the longest continuous sidewalk story true, at least? (And the Palin imitator has a name, Lisa Ann!)

what is adequately explained by stupidity. Or, in the case of Mittens, out-of-touchness that guarantees awkwardness. The guy should just stop trying to joke. It always comes out wrong.

As David Brooks quipped, "He had a pet rock, which ran away from home because it was starved of affection. He bought a mood ring, but it remained permanently transparent. His ability to turn wine into water detracted from his popularity at parties."

I just retired after flipping my Facebook stock. What are you losers doing, buying Apple?

Too soon, alternate universe guy. Too soon.

I subscribe to the paper edition and am delighted to see the divine Miss M appearing more frequently for the past couple of months at least.

See, the print paper is worth it!

He should quote from "The Wants of Man" by John Quincy Adams: I want the seals of power and place, The ensigns of command; Charged by the People's unbought grace To rule my native land. Nor crown nor sceptre would I ask But from my country's will, By day, by night, to ply the task Her cup of bliss to fill.

Wow, John Quincy Adams was a poet and I didn't even know it! Nor am I sure, after reading that, that he actually was a poet, in spite of my innate bias towards poetry that rhymes and includes the word "sceptre." But that's a different matter.

As semi-awkward poetry quotes go, this one definitely was voted Most Likely To Be Recited By Mitt Romney in high school. It has that ring to it.

But the lawsuits wiped 'em out. Our universe isn't THAT alternate

Aw, nuts. Blast our litigious society!

The world needs a Carrie Fisher spanking Tumblr.


Not me. Take me to your leader!

I'm @petridishes! Admittedly most of my tweets lately have been more information about the much-ballyhooed Tampa nightlife, about which I now have much more personal knowledge than you might conceivably require. The great thing about this job is that I am at the exact level of living-life-in-public where you aren't actually famous but you can't pretend to your grandmother that you didn't spend the better part of your Monday investigating Strip Tampa. Ah, <applicable quote>!

Back to the future. Save the clocktower. That's the power of Love. Kids such as us built ramps. Grandma bought stock in Band-Aid Co. and did well. Gold clock is broke and stuck on happyhour and it's right twice a day which is more than I can say for myself.

You are a prose poet! Like John Quincy Adams but better!

I believe Isaac was sent by God to prevent Donald Trump from speaking at the republican convention.

Careful when you use NAME OF HURRICANE and "SENT BY GOD" in the same sentence... But that is definitely a theory.

Here's her August 23 column.

Oh huzzah! Good find!

I cannot control my envy.

I'm sure Miss Manners would have words for you on the subject...

Don't you think it's funny that the religious ilk haven't said anything like this BUT we all know that had this been the Democratic convention, they would all be saying God doesn't like Obama or gays or whatever.

Well, we don't KNOW that, although it has been fairly standard operating procedure in the past. Maybe alternate universe chatter can tell us if this happened...

What would John Quincy Adams do? I think we need to give this idea some life.

He would urge his wife to wear less rouge! And insinuate that his opponent was a cannibal!

Yes, I like this idea already.

That assumes that a) He so important that God is all ears. b) God only has an Oz. of prevention c) your guess is as good as mine d) God needs to vent. God can't prevent him from listening. Listening is hard work.

Listening IS hard! As Fran Lebowitz I think said, the opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Sure. They say that about President John Edwards all the time.


(collapses in sand at feet of Statue of Liberty, sobbing)

Is that like saying Christmas and Carol in the same breath? The puritanicals are getting nitpicky.

Who's Carol?

Groan. Er. I got nothing. Return to your homes, there is nothing more to see! But keep reading the Compost Saga Of Oddly Specific Tampa Adventures and feel free but unobligated to follow me on Twitter!

In This Chat
Alexandra Petri
Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost, a lighter take on the news and issues of the day, and she contributes to the Post editorial page. Her work has appeared in venues such as The Huffington Post, The Week,,, Collegehumor, and The Harvard Crimson. She has appeared on Jeopardy!, Showbiz Tonight and Canadian radio, and she has performed at Boston's Comedy Studio and Comedy Connection. She would love to be on your TV show, radio show, Daily Show, HBO special, or to be an honored guest (or regular guest) at your Bar Mitzvah. She is the author of two books (unpublished, but contact her!), two screenplays, three plays, one musical, and one memoir (Ernest Hemingway's A Moveable Feast.)
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