Chatological Humor: Monthly with Moron

Jun 26, 2018

Today's poll is about what questions are fair game to ask President Trump.

Gene Weingarten held his monthly chat with readers.

About this chat:
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Oh, I want to begin with a tribute to Donald Hall, the former U.S. Poet Laureate who died last week.

It's a column wrote with him a few years ago.  What a gracious man. 

I do see what you're doing there, but the premise is flawed: Cecile Richards stance on abortion does not directly negatively impact people, except in that their 'souls' and 'hearts' are hurt by the thought of what they believe to be murdered babies (which I disagree with, obv, but let's not get into that). And some think God is going to smite our country or something because of it? Less clear on that part but I'll try not to get sidetracked. What Huckabee-Sanders is doing as a top member of the administration (and as the spokeperson for that), WILL very directly harm many members of the restaurant industry. The anti-immigration measures, the roll backs on LGBT rights, all of that hits the food service industry in very direct ways. As such, being asked to serve someone who is making a career of trying to demean and deport you is a very different thing. And you know it.

I think it's about as parallel as we can get.  Richards's policies enter EVERYONE's lives, for good or bad, depending on your view.

The chat link off the main page is messed up. It’s a technical issue. The link sends me to a page loaded with bad formatting that lists today’s chats along with the message “The Live Q&A can not be found.”

Hey Gene 2.0 here, we noticed the glitch and are working to address it. You're in the right place at least. Thanks for pointing it out. 

That's it, just wondering how you are.

Overstressed with book deadline and other disasters. You?

Yesterday, there were several columns by WaPo writers about how we shouldn't publicly shame Trump people. Do you agree? We have a crisis in America where the Trump administration lies constantly, ignores the Constitution and is breaking US and international law. Are we supposed to say silent? Trump is expanding his dictatorial power more every day - because he gets away with it. It really bothers me that this newspaper is preaching civility when those in power are destroying our country.

Well, this is a good moment to discuss my feelings on the matter, I guess.  I don't think we should be silent.  I think we should be loud and clear and condemnatory in the harshest terms consistent with ... civility.   When we sink to their level, they win.

I think the restaurant was acting like a big ol' baby.  But my bigger problem here is strategic.  It is backfiring.  The headlines in today's paper are about civility.  Believe me, Trump LOVES this.   It's yet another way he can deflect focus from the horrors of what his administration is doing.

How about a poll on the Red Hen/Sarah Sanders event? After a lot of thought, I think the restaurant should have found one of the waiters willing to serve the table. Curt, polite, all business. Donate tip to worthy cause. Kicking her out just gave the Trump base a talking point. However, she has sold her soul to work for Trump. How do you teach your kids not to lie and be respectful of others when she does the exact opposite at every press conference?

Poll:  Done!

Strategy of kicking her out:  Agreed.

What you tell your kid: Exactly what you just said.  You use her as an example of badness.  She is like the medieval town drunk.  Point at her and hiss, children.

Trumps handling of immigration, that is, his brutal separation of unauthorized immigrant families, reminded me of an op-ed by Gail Collins, in which she described Ivana's (his first wife's) new book. I have not read the book myself, but according to Collins: "Wait, there’s more: During their infamous divorce, Dad sent a bodyguard from his office to get Junior, announcing: “You’re not getting him back. I’m going to bring him up myself.” Ivana says she responded: “O.K., keep him. I have two other kids to raise.” Silence and 10 minutes later the bodyguard returned her son. It was, Trump’s ex-wife concluded, “a tactic to upset me.” However for some reason, at around this time Don Jr. stopped speaking to his father and wound up getting shipped to boarding school." That is, according to Trump's first wife, he already implemented a plan to use a child as hostage in a dispute with an adversary. So of course Trump's immigration tactics now include using immigrant children as hostages to try and force Congress to give him 1) money for wall, 2) revision of statute to allow lengthy detention of immigrant families, and 3) further reductions in legal immigration and refugee admittance. And in general move the needle further to the right by moving the right hand position to a further extreme than any normal politician would have imagined. I think we need input from Ivana on how to psych out Donald.

One way might be to infuriate him by asking him at a press conference if he is fat, if he has an intimate marriage, and why everyone around him thinks he is an idiot.  He might suffer, in the parlance of the 1920s about Warren Harding, "a fit of apoplexy."

I've noticed that one of Trump's go-to putdowns is "Low IQ" and that he tends to employ it against laughably inappropriate targets. I would not have been surprised if he'd gone after Stephen Hawking's views on climate change by calling him "Low IQ". I get that Trump lashes out from his own insecurities, but that one strikes me as particularly counterproductive, as in, only an idiot would not be able to see that So-and-So is actually pretty smart. Is this just part of Trump's greater disconnect from reality?

I think this has two bases:

1.  He tends to accuse others of his own dysfunctions. I think on some deep level Trump knows or suspects he is dumb.

2. He just lashes out because he is an adolescent.  Someone hurts you, you lash back with whatever you have.  it's the same reason he reflexively called the restaurant "dirty."

How long does a Poet Laureate serve? Are they appointed by the President? Do they serve at his pleasure? How does one become a former Poet Laureate?

My memory is that he or she is named by the Librarian of Congress, at the wishes of the president.  Also, that it's a one-year term, renewable once (by tradition only once.)

He's the president of the United States. EVERY question is fair game. That's the drill -- that's what he signed up for. Don't like it? Don't run for the highest office in the land.

I tend to agree, which is why the only question I would have thrown out was the one that also affected Melania.

I knew exactly what you were doing....and I saw no problem with either one, even as a very pro-choice person myself. Both are based on policy positions the person holds, not who they are. What I have a problem with is being kicked out for something intrinsic to the person, such as race, gender, or sexual orientation.

Okay.  Agreed, sort of.  I do think it comes off as petty. 

You know the answer to this - the only fair questions are the ones that Pres. Trump likes, flatter him, and favor his positions. Everything else is WITCH HUNT! TOTALLY UNFAIR! FAKE! In all seriousness, we need to focus on what pertains to the job. So, the relationship question is too far. I would normally put the BMI question in that category too, but he made it a fair game when he authorized the release of that information with his check-up. Still, it's less an unfair question than it is an irrelevant one. Time is better spent asking him about his lies.

I don't think it's irrelevant.   The whole issue is kinda moot, though.  He never gives press conferences.  Possibly for fear of questions like these.

Gene: On 6/12, you linked to the SNL sketch where DeNiro takes us through the terrorist watchlist. That reminded me of a day, about ten years ago, when I almost lost my life in the community gym at my condo. I was on the elliptical, watching a midday rerun of The Daily Show on Comedy Central. Host Jon Stewart was interviewing special correspondent John Oliver about NATO troop commitments, and Oliver asked for time to honor Britain's fallen soldiers: Oliver's routine is just as funny as—funnier, really, than—DeNiro's, and it starts at about 2m30s. The thing that almost killed me is that, at the gym, the TV sound was always off, and the closed captioning was always on. I think it was seeing "Lead Seaman Huffington Nobgobbler" pop up (in all caps, of course) on the closed captioning that made me fall off, but I can't remember. I managed not to hit my head or even break both ankles, but I fell and fell hard. Worth a watch, if you are safely seated.

Yes, I remember this. It's excellent.

So there is this dude who lives in my house. In conversation, that is how I refer to him: this dude who lives in my house. It is factual! Also factual: we have a marriage certificate, a mortgage, kids, and go out of our ways to make each other happy. But dude. He lives in my house.


Better comparison: Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

B-but who wouldn't serve RBG?  She's adorable. 

The Red Hen's owner has every right to deny service to La Sanders, or anyone else. She also has the right to suffer any consequences. It would be fairly amusing if she suddenly found herself in a dining room full of people pulling MAGA hats out of their pockets at, say, 7pm on a Saturday.

I think she's ALREADY suffering.  But I love the MAGA hat idea.  You know, if they all then marched out of the restaurant, it's possible they could be sued.  It might qualify, essentially, as an act of vandalism.  An economic crime.

I’m on vacation in Vancouver. It’s nice! The Canadian people? Also nice. Polite. Friendly. Just so nice! The only problem is on the roads. They are so darn nice I want to crush them. I could never live here.

I felt the same way.  Make sure you visit the Tousseau's Wax Museum, if it's still there.  Particularly the basement of horrors.

Hey Gene I've been pestering you and the WaPo on twitter about the WaPo blocking Europeans from their site. The Washington Post has value for people across the globe. I was a subscriber when I lived in Virginia. I'm so happy that your bosses changed their mind about blocking us out. It sure got me thinking about how the wealth of information sources I take for granted, can easily be taken away. I won't neccessarily be taken away by a brutal regime, but I can also be taken away by people who didn't have bad intentions. Anyway, now that I've had a chance to go back and read some of the previous weeks of chats, I notice that you and many chatters are drifting even more away from considering dialogue with political opponents like Trump supporters. That scares me. I believe we gotta be smart instead of just angry. Can we concede that Trump supporters might have some valid points, to start a dialogue? For instance, even though free trade has been a net positive for the US, can we keep open the possibility that there are some risks involved with it? My country has always opted for a larger degree of self sufficiency than some countries even though we can buy many goods cheaper from China. If the US gets into a heated conflict with China, that regime can punish the US by restricting trade on goods that you're relying on. You guys would be headed for an economic depression quickly. My larger point is, I believe there's a solution where we spend a little more time listening to our political opponents. Any other areas where we might find some common ground?

I'm not sure anyone on this chat disagrees with you.  I think the problem is that as the country drifts apart into two, the amount of "common ground" is shrinking.  Instead, there's this gaping maw of nothingness in the middle.  There might be dragons and helioblaster phlegm drowners in there.

Okay, I made up helioblaster phlegm drowners.

1. Congratulations on your not-dead cat and the presumed happiness you've found with the fnorf. 2. Fnorf reminds me of when I tried to teach my son that a spork was called a fpoon. I thought it was hilarious but my husband was afraid he'd get teased and corrected him. Actually I still think it's hilarious. Fpoon is an objectively funny word. 3. While I also would want to move if the bad one gets reelected, it is more for not wanting to be associated with his rule and a nation that cannot develop a more equitable form of democratic governance. By no objective measure does "more than half the population" think this is okay. He didn't even win the popular vote, which in total didn't comprise of the entire population, and his approval rating has tanked since then. Our electoral system just sucks and has been appropriated by a party that has figured out how to be disciplined enough to work it.

Speaking of fpoon, if you have never seen Key and Peele's "continental breakfast" thing, you must.

I just finished being on the jury for a first degree murder. One of the questions the judge asked during jury selection was “where do you get your news”. 1/4th of the selected jury either said some version of Facebook/Twitter or “I don’t get/do news”. I was horrified that they were selected (not too stoked I was either to be honest) but I guess that is a good representation of the community these days. Plus side was since none of those individuals paid attention to the trial and took no notes over 5 days, it was very easy to convince them to vote how we wanted them to vote during deliberations. It would have killed me if their apathy was the deciding factor for justice and someone’s freedom.

So you acquitted?

Please don’t point and hiss at the medieval town drunk —- alcoholism is a disease. Okay to point and hiss at SHB, tho —- lying and being rude to WH reporters is a choice.

I am not advocating pointing and hissing at the town drunk.  It was a medieval thing.  We've come a long way, baby.

Taken their order and then, for the next few hours tell SHS "we'll have to get back to you on that" when she asks where their food is.

Haha!  Now THAT I like.

So you'd approve of the other customers pointing to her and hissing throughout her dinner? Because I'd be up for that.

Sure.  Exercising First Amendment rights.  Pointing and hissing is speech, just like campaign donations are, allegedly.

If she was in the mood for poultry she should've patronized her local Chick-Fil-A. They'd probably have comped her meal.


Hey, can anyone tell me why Chick-Fil-a has such a fanatic following?   Have they perfected chicken?  I seem to remember being in one once.  It just seemed like chicken.

Or were you thinking of Madame's Trousseau?

Yeah, I shoulda lookt it up.

Rule of law, don't you know. Although a better approach would be to just sit there, asking for more water or something, for three or four times as long as usual, then tip really really well so the waitrons don't suffer.

I didn't mean to suggest they order food and not pay. I just meant they'd fill the restaurant with reservations, then walk out without ordering, leaving an empty restaurant.

Trump health problems and marriage problems are not fair game. You could argue he made them fair game, but we still should take the moral high ground. But questions about lies and his aides calling him an idiot are fair IMHO.

I find this interesting: I asked four friends to take the poll, all journalists.  So with mine, there were five answers.   One of us said all four questions were appropriate, one (me) said three were appropriate, one said two were appropriate, one said one was appropriate, and one said none were appropriate.

The only one I thought inappropriate was the one about his sex life, only because it involves the privacy of another person.  Melania has a right to much more privacy than her husband does.  

I think his weight IS an issue, just as it would be fair game to ask a president about his eating and exercise habits if he has had a heart attack.  It's pertinent.  We have a right -- even an obligation  -- to know the state of president's health.   And more important, asking about what message his corpulence is delivering to kids seems to me to be a valid question.

His Corpulence would be a great honorific for Trump!

Trumpers concur with his desire to deprive undocumented immigrants of their due process rights, which is easy for them because the immigrants are Latin Americans. I wonder if Trump's trying to get his base ready to support wider suspension of due process on other counts as well. Do you think he'll someday declare martial law and suspend elections?

I think Trump is in favor of whatever dictatorial powers he thinks he can achieve with the abject concurrence of the amoral lapdog leaders of his amoral lapdog party.   .

As much as I think Sarah Huckabee Sanders deserves far more punishment than being asked to leave a restaurant, I don't think this is a good trend. For one, it lets Trump and his allies play the victim, which they are going to milk for all its worth. Secondly, and more importantly, where will this stop? You know that someone will retaliate against a Democrat not because they've done something as deplorable as defending the Class 5 rapids stream of lies from Trump or his policy of separating kids from their parents or his demonization of anyone who's not white or the multitude of things he's inflicted on this country. They will simply refuse to serve him, or heckle her, or in some other way make their life difficult simply because they work for a Democrat or a Republican. Who will be willing to work under those conditions? Only ideological zealots will. And then we all lose. What are your thoughts?

As you know by now, those are pretty much my thoughts.

My objection to the first 3 is not that they are not "fair game," so much as they are petty and frivolous. Being a fat, stupid, unlovable SOB is so beside the point now.

Noted! This made me laugh.

Ran across this concept recently in a mystery, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it mentioned in the aptonym discussions -

Yeah, we have discussed this before; I think it's mostly bogus, but I didn't know it had an official name.

The woman you unfollowed is Laura Ingraham. Dartmouth grad, UVA LAw School, former editor of The Dartmouth Review, columnist, now radio host so she's educated and can write, but she's typical right-wing conservative (read: lacks empathy). She was famously known for outing LGBT students at Dartmouth in the early 1980's (both to the campus and to their parents (she sent audiotapes of LGBT meetings to the attendees parents!). She was described as having "the most extreme anti-homosexual views imaginable." Well all of a sudden she changed her views on homosexuality when her brother was gay. As I said - she has that singular trait you can use to describe pretty much all conservative Republicans: she lacks empathy. You were correct to wonder whether or not she has a soul, but I think the evidence is overwhelming. Child detentions are like summer camp? Hmmmm soul or no? Pat Buchanan is cited as a major influence? That's the tell right there: she's a soulless racist.

It took me a while to remember what you referred to, but no, it was not Laura Ingraham. 

I mentioned I had unfollowed a conservative woman who I'd been following for a long time because I respected her intelligence, even if most of her political views were repugnant to me.   But the last straw was when she made an observation too repugnant to be defended.

That clip reminds me of this all-time classic Colbert clip where his writers swapped in names he had not rehearsed.

I remember this, too.

I don't think it's the chicken, but rather everything else. The waffle fries are great. The milkshakes are great. The lemonade is tasty (my wife and kids say it is too sweet, but it can easily be watered down). The biscuits are the best of any fast-food purveyor. The hash browns are heavenly. And the service is very friendly, on purpose. In a world where many burger chains are devoted to getting you in and out efficiently, pleasant smiles, and free refills of soft drinks, are most welcome.

Okay, noted. 

Somehow, when I think of Chick-Fil-a I think of Los Pollos Hermanos.

You've given him about 10 too many years. He's the toddler in chief.

I think he's the tweenie in chief, actually.

I've had cats most of my life and I had forgotten that most of them are pretty stupid because I am currently living with the smartest cat I've ever encountered. I had suspected for some time that she understands English (actual words, not just tones or context) but never shared that view because I know how crazy it makes me sound. Something recently happened that convinced me that she does. I had taken her to my parents' house as they look after her when I travel. I stayed overnight. Dad got up in the morning to feed her breakfast but the water bowl and food bowl were switched from their usual positions, so he dumped the dry kibble into the water bowl accidentally. He fixed it by dumping the wet mess into the laundry sink, refilling the water and he went back to bed. Later that morning, in the living room, we are all sitting having coffee and the cat's curled up on my lap. He told my mother and me what happened that morning. Mum asked if he had cleaned the sink yet. Not yet, was the answer. The cat jumped off my lap and trotted up the hallway in the direction of the laundry. A few minutes later she returned, licking her lips. We look at each other - SURELY NOT, we are thinking - and Dad walked up to the laundry to investigate. On his return to the living room, he informed us there is no food left in the sink and there are wet paw prints on the washing machine next to the sink. Coincidence or smartest cat ever?


So, now that he's back on Twitter, can you tell us what your favorite David Simon term-of-derision is? Mine is ********.

He is very partial to words that combine "scrote" with something.   As in "you bronto-brained scrotelick."  I can write that here because "scrote," technically, means nothing.

I'd be willing to bet Melanie is staying on at the WH because of keeping Barron.

I think Barron goes wherever she goes.  You think Trump wants Barron around?

I think that's a valid question because he lied about his weight. Yeah, yeah, the message to kids, too, but it goes to the whole issue of his lack of truthfulness. And the fact that he loves to insult other people's weight. Agree that the only question out of bounds is the sex life one.

Remind us: How did he lie about his weight?   Did he actually say he is 225 or something?

And by the way, apologies to people who get offended whenever we discuss weight in any context.   Please remember the context here is the president of the United States.

I have the same question. The chicken sandwich, such as it is, is fine;maybe even tasty. Their service is fast. But what do you get ? A piece of chicken on a roll; no lettuce or tomato unless you order the deluxe. There are added sauces but so what. Their waffle fries are pretty blah. That's it. My conservative golfing buddy likes to go there but the only thing he seems to love is the bottomless root beer.

Bottomloss root beer would bring me in, yeah.

Take her order, let her sit there for an hour or two, and then present her with the bill. When she tells you that she hasn't been served her food yet, look her straight in the eye and tell her that of course she has been served. As a bonus, tell her that it's inappropriate to even question that.

Also, excellent.

Questions on Trump's girth are, I think, somewhat (though not perfectly) analogous to ones on Obama's smoking. Did he get those?

I agree about the analogousness.  And he didn't NEED to take questions about it.  Obama was Obama.  He raised the issue himself, more than once.

I hope you have seen the LPH employee training videos on YouTube.

I have not!  Will.

...whether he can compare and contrast his administration's use of the big lie technique with that used by Hitler and Goebbels in the 1930s. Would that be a fair question?

Well, that's question four, without the Godwin's Law problem.

I honestly believe the pundits and analysts have misinterpreted what the message on Melania's jacket was intended for. It wasn't for the media. It wasn't for the protestors, for liberals, or for The Donald himself. The entire point of that message was to enlist Trump's supporters in trolling everyone else in order to distract Trump's supporters from Trump flip-flopping on the family separation issue. His people were fired up about family separation. They were passionately defending it from FOX on down the foodchain to Joe and Jane MAGA in the comment section. Trump backtracking could easily have been seen by them as a betrayal. Better to give them another attack vector by which they can still passionately antagonize liberals than to simply reverse course and have Melania showing compassion for those he had insinuated were vermin just the day before. I do not follow the school of thought that Trump plays 3d chess to work over the press, but I sincerely believe that this was a calculated misdirection to keep his own followers from turning on him.

Sorry, not following this.

Apologies.  Things are going to slow down a little bit now.  The Post's vaunted 1930s-era reader interaction software managed to eat a bunch of my previously answered questions, so we're down to real-time answering only, and I will be exposed for the slowpoke I am.

(I am five ten on a big-hair day.)

The report of his physical said he was an inch or two taller than he actually is, because his weight for his actual height makes him clinically obese. This was made obvious when he stood next to Justin Trudeau, whose height is a matter of public record.

Ah, yes.  Right.  It does remind me of the time that a friend had told me her husband was six foot tall, and then we all got together, and I pointedly stood next to him.  We are the same height.  Then I whispered in her ear "Hey, that's great!  Turns out I am six foot, also." 

Trump has a 90% approval rating among Republicans, apparently. What is wrong with these people? Can they not see what he's doing to the country, and even traditional Republican values?

He is making them feel like winners.

His medical report listed him as 6 foot 3 inches, 239 pounds which is exactly 29.9 BMI, just 0.1 below obese levels.

Hahaha.  That suggests he IS obese.  Is he?

Are you watching any of it? Enjoying it?

Nope.  Just not my sport, unless this country is in it, at which point I pretend to understand it.

Which reminds me:

There is nothing more boring or less informative than a soccer "box score."  Nothing.  I'd rather read the warranty on a refrigerator.

He hasn't made a claim to a specific weight, which would be falsifiable. Instead, he denies he is overweight or even close to it, he celebrates his poor eating and exercise habits, and he gets his physician to issue a medical report claiming that he is not obese. What really sets people off, though, is that he attacks even plump people as "fat pigs." Since he attacks other people who have his own faults, and he attacks "fat pigs," the inference is that he knows he's overweight and is avoiding it.

It's that thing again: Where he attributes his flaws to others.

How often do you eat in bed? How often do you eat McFood for dinner? How many of your tweets are composed while you're on the toilet? What size gloves do you wear?

Those are all good questions.  Alas, he would lie about all of them.

Hey, I haven't been to a McDonalds or Burger King in more than 15 years.  I am just bragging.

I don't understand. How is this any better than a restaurant owner politely asking SHS to leave her establishment? I completely disagree with your argument. In my view, the restaurant owner acted bravely, standing up for her employees and making it clear that the reprehensible actions and words of this Administration would not be tolerated in her establishment. Civility has gotten the left nowhere. It's time to resist, and this is what resistance looks like.

Well, I hear what you are saying, and disagree with it.

Has Trump done ANYthing positive in his time in office, in your eyes? I mean, 90% of Republicans aren't idiots. There's gotta be something other than "feeling like winners" that they're hanging their hat on.

I cannot think of a single good thing.  Any liberals out there willing to concede anything?  I vaguely remember one thing he did that didn't absolutely repel me, but I forget which.

Which is how Hitler played it, too.

Careful.  Godwin is watching.

When I read the word, why do I think the word refers to a medical condition in one's rectum?

You are thinking of "asteroid."

Football (soccer) will never be baseball.

Well, the thing is, I read the soccer box score and thing that even a fanatic soccer fan wouldn't plow through this.

Baseball box scores are magic.  They impart a huge amount of information in a space the size of four postage stamps.

My theory is that the only self-identified Republicans who are really left are his crazy supporters. The sane people call themselves Independents now.

Or Libertarians.  See next post.

I'm a Republican who leans more and more towards Libertarian. I can't stand Trump. I didn't vote for him, either.


Are you and Sietsma lunching together at Popeye's regularly?

Very little fast food.  I look around at the bodies of the denizens, and I quail. 

I will eat Popeye's wings.  Or KFC occasionally.

I can't think of others.

You're missing out on the fries and the chicken tenders, which are universally praised, even by your WAPO food critic.

I'll eat a chicken tender when I am told, unambiguously, what it is.  Extruded chicken meat squeezed from a tube, like toothpaste?

There are no stats in soccer that matter other than the score. I guess you also see who played and any discipline (yellow/red cards). But none of that matters much.

Well, they give the name of the scorers, and the time they scored.  And then there is other stuff.

Godwin has suspended his law.

I didn't know! Thank you.

Made Paul Ryan retire.

Good point.

Reminds me of this excellent LBJ quote: "If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you."

Sounds like Dylan!!   LBJ and Dylan.

What's <your> BMI?

Not sure.  You tell me.   I am five ten and 180 pounds.  I consider myself fat, not obese.

... will point to the Supreme Court and tax cuts as things they like. Looking at recent Supreme Court decisions, it is probably enough for them to overlook everything else.

Tax cuts were disaster.  Judicial nominees, a disaster.  Of course, this is a liberal talking.

It's the detachable under part of a boneless chicken breast. You know, the one that has that silvery bit of tendon sticking out of the top.

But how does it get so uniform in consistency?  There is extrusion and tubes, right?

Well, he kept Hillary's grubby hands off the keys. That -- if it's the only thing he does, and it won't be -- might just be enough.

So you think we are in better hands with Trump than with Hillary?   Noted.

Was the line in the Post obit pointing out that his name is pronounced like it's spelled an inside joke?

I didn't notice that.  But it could be pronounced Krauth - ammer.   So I am not sure that was silly.

Manteuffel once wrote that as a German-American, she was offended by his name.

Five ten with hair...probably 5' 7" without!

I was always exactly five ten, but, um.  You shrink a little.  I am probably five nine and a half. 

Alcoholism is not a disease it's a learned behavior

I am not getting in the middle of this.

5'10" and 180 lb = BMI 26, overweight but not excessively so

Okay, thanks.  

And on that, I will depart.   Thank you all.  This was as much fun as one can have in the Trump era.

Next week, same time, same place.

In This Chat
Gene Weingarten
Gene Weingarten is the humor writer for The Washington Post. His column, Below the Beltway, has appeared weekly in the Post's Sunday magazine since July 2000 and has been distributed nationwide on The Los Angeles Times-Washington Post News Service. He was awarded the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing.

Weingarten is also the author of "The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death," co-author of "I'm with Stupid," with feminist scholar Gina Barreca and "Old Dogs: Are the Best Dogs," with photographer Michael S. Williamson.

His most recent book, "The Fiddler In The Subway," is a collection of his full-length stories. He is working on a new book, called "One Day," about the events of December 28, 1986, a date chosen at random by drawing numbers from a hat.

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