Celebritology Live

Sep 13, 2012

Celebritology blogger Jen Chaney gabbed about the latest celebrity gossip and pop culture news making waves across the Web.

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I'm late. But I posted the morning mix really early today. So ... split the difference?

Let's chat.

Do you think Levi and Sunny wanted to ensure that, in the future, men accepting lap dances from Breeze will know she can handle a gun? Honestly, Beretta isn't that bad of a name if you forget it's a gun, but Breeze is a name best left to My Little Ponies or strippers.

Breeze Beretta sounds like the name of the protagonist of a femme-action thriller or possibly the name of one of the fake trailers in "Grindhouse." It does not sound like the name of a baby.

Loved your posts about Molly Ringwald. Several years ago, she was starring in CABARET on Broadway and we saw her. About as against-type for the former Brat Pack member as possibly, playing Sally Bowles. The show was at the former Studio 54 and the front of the house was set up with cabaret tables. During the performance, someone seated at the tables became ill and Ringwald stopped mid-song, asked the woman if she was OK, got no response, and then announced (I'm not making this up) "Is there a doctor in the house?". There was, he helped the woman, an ambulance came, and about 15 minutes later, Ringwald very professionally lined up the company, started the number again, and continued the show.

That is awesome.

My dad actually saw her in "Cabaret" WITHOUT me. When he came and told me this, I remember being super-jealous.

She seems like she has a very good head on her shoulders, and your story backs up that impression.

Did anyone see her at Sixth and I last night? I wanted to go but couldn't because it was my son's back to school night. In related news, I think I am flunking kindergarten-parenting.

So does this show depict an alternate timeline wherein Jack was unable to restart the cosmic water engine? Is that why my IPad won't work?

There's a long answer to this question, but I'll go ahead and give you the short one: yes.

Baretta is horrible (hello, my name is Glock ... Uzi ... Semi-Automatic ... ) but I don't mind Breeze simply because it is very bohemian/hippie-sounding to me. Like Wave, or Sunflower, or Rain, or some of the other names of the children of hippies.

Yes, Breeze by itself is less objectionable. It's the combo that is distressing.

Your reference to Uzi reminded me of Ari and Uzi from "The Royal Tenenbaums." Alhough I assume that Chas Tenenbaum and his late wife didn't name one of their sons after a gun on purpose...

I don't use twitter, but I'm in IT so I get technology. Even so, how does one "accidentally" tweet a pic of their naughty parts to their fans?

I am not sure what exactly happened there. She said she was trying to delete it so maybe she just tapped a wrong button? Having tweeted messages that I meant to DM, I know it's very easy to do that.

It is possible to accidentally tweet things. I can buy that. Why anyone even semi-famous still takes pictures of themselves naked anymore is another story. If you're going to do it, use an old-fashioned, non-digital camera so someone would have to take it Ritz Camera to get developed. No one knows how to do that anymore, so there's no way the photo will ever leak.

You mean "Breeze Beretta" is not the reboot of the 70's cop show?

Somewhere, some hack action movie writer saw the news of that baby name and immediately ditched the screenplay they've been working on for the past two years.

I didn't know even know he was dating. A friend was telling me he and ScarJo broke up because he wanted a family and she didn't. I find this suspect - as in, it seems like a cop-out answer.

It seems like a cop-out answer because...? What do you think the real answer?

I don't know what it is, by the way, I just want to know what you think.

I think it is pretty clear by now that Chris Brown still doesn't realize the far-reaching consequences of his actions. The world attaches more meaning to the event than he ever did. For better or worse, his beating of Rihanna will always be tied to his name. The less he can do to remind people of it, the better it will be for his career. I cannot believe that was actually intended to be a sugar skull / cosmetics label combo tattoo. If it is, he definitely needs to hire a better artist.

I can believe it was intended to be that, but he should have thought harder before getting it done. Anyone would look at one-half of that image -- the non-skull half, obviously -- and think it looks a little bit like Rihanna.

Hey Chaney Boo Boo, just wanted to know that I loved reading your minute by minute report of the movie. Did your son want to see it? A friend with a 4 year old daughter said they must not have advertised much because her daughter wasn't begging to see it. Amazing how many stars had cameo appearances in such a loser movie.

I have not discussed the Oogieloves with my son on purpose so as not to run the risk that he would want to see it. Fortunately, it did such abysmal box office that I think I can escape from the Oogieloves Cone of Silence soon, if not immediately.

I don't think I saw any ads for it. Many of my friends are parents, and most of them had never heard of it until they read my nonsense about it.

Who topless tweet ed??? In any event, I believe that, in many jurisdictions, film developing companys are required by law to report any porn/erotica they find on the films.

Oh, legalities. Constantly getting in the way.

It was Alison Pill, as noted in the morning mix today. She's a fine upstanding citizen in general, so it was clearly just a mistake. But -- and maybe this is my prudish naivete -- I don't get the obsession with taking naked pictures of yourself. I have never had this impulse. (I know, I know -- actors are narcissists...)

Is there a reason there's not a link to your blog (or those of the other Post Live Q&A's that I frequent) somewhere on the chat page? Or am I just missing it?

You're probably not missing it. That would make, like, a bucketload of sense, wouldn't it? I'll ask someone on our discussion production team if we can add that.

VMAs. Ellen. Making the rounds of LA radio. Yea, Psy fits here now. :)

Oh my lord, have you ever gotten sick of something so quickly? I can't turn around to sneeze without Psy or someone pretending to be Psy being all up in my grill.

Sounds like it could be a gay guy wedding. Anywho, I was a little surprised about the age difference. Ryan just squeezed by the "half your age plus 7" rule. I know that there are very mature 25 year olds, but 25 to 35 is a pretty big life experience gap.

A 10-year difference, especially in Hollywood, is not that much really. But yes, it is a big life experience difference.

I don't think it means a relationship can't work, though.

I guess putting the blame on one party - in this case the woman - that's all. Real answer would be it just didn't work out.


Can I get one "Breeze Beretta?" It's equal parts Malibu, simple syrup, grenadine, pineapple juice, and West Virginia moonshine!

We should really do a Celebritology happy hour where all the drink specials are named after famous people's babies.

I'll have a Bear Blu, please. And my boyfriend will have the Pilot Inspektor-tini.

I was thinking about George Clooney's girlfriends and thought, if you are one of the chosen, boy is that a lesson in really enjoying the present. You know the relationship has a shelf life, so carpe diem! (Oh, and as Elisabetta Canalis learned the hard way, don't talk about marriage or kids to the media.)

I have this feeling that when you start dating George Clooney, you totally know all that. And then as the relationship progresses, you get all swoony-Clooney and think that you may finally be the one who changes everything for him and gets to be his wife and will walk down an aisle with him standing at the altar looking like he always does in his Oscars tuxedo, and then you say "I do"  and he says "I do" back  in that same voice he used to narrate that DNC video and then...

I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

Loved your piece. She looks fabulous ... like she hasn't aged a day!

Thanks, and agreed.

It's nice when people you admired in your youth actually turn out to be solid people.

Congratulations, me too. Because I don't micromanage the teacher, think I know everything and feel I should hover in the classroom all day every day. hehe. Oh, and also because I don't think I should devote my entire life to planning a "variety show" that is going to take place ... wait for it ... next MAY. Oy!

Got some high-maintenance parents at your school, do ya?

All the talk of homework procedures was what freaked me out last night. Wait, I have to work on a reading journal and writing exercises? But what if a celebrity break-up is announced during that time? How am I supposed to blog it?

Is reportedly shopping a book deal. If Rielle Hunter's "memoir" really sold 25K copies, think what Monica's would do?

It seems like she should have done this 10 years ago, no?

I'd like an Apple-tini, please! Oh. Wait.

This drink menu literally writes itself.

Did you see the part of his interview from Rolling Stone about being a mobster and a speed freak. Most importantly, would "Modern Family have been as good with Craig T. Nelson as the dad?

Yes, it would. It just would have been called "Parenthood" instead.

Happy Hour -- it's been 4 years since our last in person Celebritology Happy Hour. I remember because it was just because I got sworn in as attorney and couldn't afford to attend. We need to have another one. P.S. You don't flunk Kindegarten parentings, you just get a N for Needs Improvement.

That's *another* thing EPJD: they are changing the report card grading this year. There was a whole hand-out with an infographic that explained how to interpret the new grades.

I  have to study in order to understand someone else's report card.

We really should do another one. I don't think the Post will pay for it. But we could always organize one ourselves. Would any D.C. peeps be up for that?

P.S. I still have the poster from our Lost Happy Hour, complete with the drink list.

[quote]A friend was telling me he and ScarJo broke up because he wanted a family and she didn't.[/quote] I heard this too, and for some reason I believe it. I'll never meet Ryan Reynolds (who I *love* because of "Just Friends," a criminally underrated film), but I am convinced he just wants a passel of babies, and Blake Lively (of whom I know nothing) is ready to make him happy. But yeah, the age difference squicks me out too ... and I don't have anything against ScarJo, but she was way too young to get married in the first place, and clearly wasn't ready to pop out the rugrats.

But is Lively ready to pop out the rugrats? If that really was Reynolds's issue, presumably he made sure she was before they said their vows and had their pre-reception carnival hour.

God, I wish someone would leak video from the carnival hour.

I'm sorry, but a reading journal and writing exercises? In kindergarten? I'm an old and crusty 42 so maybe I don't remember not doing anything like that in kindergarten? And I turned out just fine, went to a good university, have a successful career ... gosh.

It's full-day now, too. No more of this a.m. and p.m. business.

I have no recollection of learning anything in kindergarten, other than how to use the bathroom pass.

"It's nice when people you admired in your youth actually turn out to be solid people." Besides Molly Ringwald, how about Tom Hanks, Mark Harmon (I remember him as the UCLA QB!), Meryl Streep. Who else?

Interesting proposal. I think we should limit the list to child stars who turned out just fine. Ringwald. Jodie Foster. Jason Bateman...

I think Monica Lewinsky's story is just a tad bit past its sell-by date.

People would be interested, though. At least in a "I'll read the highlights in a hilarious Gawker post" sort of way.

I'll take a Peaches Geldoff - brightly colored with a bitter aftertaste and leaves you with a feeling of confusion.

To be fair, that describes most alcoholic drinks. But I like it!

We totally need to get the bartender working on the recipes for these baby name inspired drinks. Fiday List idea!

Yes, we would need to do this at a beach bar, right?

Are the VMAs on their last legs, after such terrible TV ratings?

Last legs? No. From a social media perspective, there was still a lot of chatter about it.

It was an off year. And given the ratings and the general sense that they were indeed a snooze, I have no doubt that MTV will find some way to make concoct a "shock" that will make them interesting again next year.

Yes. Now that Bill and Hillary stayed together all this time and weathered his infidelity storm, it seems the 15 minutes for her story is kind of past the expiration date. I mean, did you see the adorable picture of her in Timor watching his DNC speech? They genuinely seem to care for each other. Besides, there have been way too many other scandals since then, from Mark Sanford's hike in the Appalachian, Jon Corzine's long term affair with Carla Katz, Congressmen soliciting pages, and of course Elliot Spitzer violating the Mann Act with his imports to DC - Monica's story is almost tame and quaint compared to some of these characters.

That is true. The other question is what detail can be left after the Starr Report? That was really the Lewinsky tell-all.

I remember reading that at the beach when it was released. It was the appropriate place for it, that's for sure.

Ron Howard

Bam! Another well-adjusted child star.

I'll also add Wil Wheaton.

Back in ye olden times, children didn't even start reading instruction till First Grade. Kindergarten enrollment began at age 4 - 1/2. What I recall of Kindergarten (only half-day) are finger-painting, modeling clay, white paste (which the teacher tried to keep us from eating), "rhythm band" (where each row of us played a different percussion instrument, all of us accompanying our teacher on piano), recesses (plural), and NO READING (although we sang the "Alphabet Song"). Mr. Elderly Lizard's school district didn't even have Kindergarten yet, so he began school in First Grade.

Wow. I definitely remember the paste you speak of.

Doubtless contains enough Curacao to put hair on one's chest!

That's all it is: straight-up Curacao in a glass.

I have never tried to drink Curacao by itself, but I suspect it would not be pleasant.

I don't care about his team, but Vikings punter Chris Kluwe is now my hero for his eloquent and passionate, albeit NSFW defense of a fellow NFL player after a Maryland delegate attacked the Ravens' player for speaking in support of gay marriage. Go Chris!

I read that and thought it was pretty spectacular as a piece of writing coming from an NFL player.

Deserves a mention for surviving ovarian cancer and now recovering from a double masectomy

Absolutely. Love her and was sorry to hear she was ailing. Glad she's doing better.

Not to mention that icky and aptly-named Congressman Wiener. Ick Nast.

Who also, by the way, accidentally tweeted pictures of himself. See how this all comes together?

Do we really, truly believe she wasn't "interested" in the bodyguard guy before she and Seal split up?

I really, truly believe that I don't care that much. I was sort of sad when they split up because they appeared to really love each other for a while.

But they are less interesting to me apart than they were together, if that makes any sense.

Rick Schroeder and Sean Astin for this list. Also Tiffani Thiessen.

Good calls, all.

... Along the lines of the Arnold Palmer and the Tom Collins, I think there should be a drink named the George Clooney. Something cool, delicious and very sophisticated.

Cloone-tini? A Dr. Ross-a-rita?

each time an ad for the new Clint Eastwood film comes on TV. We just burst out laughing. It's a shame, too, because I really like Eastwood as a director, but I can't take him seriously right now.

I haven't burst out laughing, but I think of Invisible Obama every time I see the ad, too. I think it's because of his mispronunciation of the term feng shui -- plays into some of his inarticulateness during that speech.

Are other people having this issue? I feel like I can ultimately look past it to enjoy his films. It's just the ad that's hard to deal with, I think.

about Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. I've never understood Poehler's appeal, I think she is way too cheesy and over the top and not deserving of Gob's love, but man, my friends on Facebook acted like their own parents were splitting.

Your friends were right. Leslie Knope and Gob Bluth are our parents, okay?

You just don't understand. I mean ...

Gotta disagree. There's always something inert about Craig T.; I think he would have sunk MODERN FAMILY. Like him fine on PARENTHOOD, though.

He's more understated. I really like him, though.

... and makes you swoon and forget what you were talking about.

Once again, this describes many alcoholic beverages so...

Rockin it old school: Shirley Temple Black. My dad worked with her when she was an ambassador. I have a signed picture of her somewhere.....

A couple of you who said this. Duly noted.

Natalie Portman? Emma Watson?

I feel like Watson is still too young to make the list, though I trust she'll stay the decent human being she appears to be.

Portman is a definite.

Well, after my divorce, I had a very enjoyable fling with a boy toy who was 8 years younger than me. And enjoyed every minute of it. So maybe Heidi is just enjoying some cotton candy-like fun.

Perhaps so. Hey, doesn't bother me. Seal's initial comment about it was kind of amusing. Whenever someone uses the word fornicate, they've usually just uttered a quality sentence.

True, it's not like he Mel Gibsoned.

Not at all. And I liked "The Beaver" so even in that case, it is possible to appreciate someone performance or work without liking their offscreen behavior.

Jane Fonda has it all wrong. She's looking like a deer in headlights when the real Nancy Reagan had more of a " I'm naughty and haughty but I'm richer than you" look and it will take more than Brylcreem to cover Mr. Rickmans oh so British accent.

Well, so far all we've seen are pictures. We can't really tell whether they pull this off until "The Butler" comes out.

I thought the make-up jobs were pretty darn good, though.

I understand he's partial to Limoncello, so that would have to be a prominent ingredient.

I actually had drinks in the presence of Mr. Clooney once -- it was at a Toronto Film Festival party and waitresses were not shy about bringing him champagne.

My role in all this was to say a bunch of stupid stuff for a few minutes and then walk away.

And on that note, I have to sign off so I can knock out a couple of blog posts. Thanks for all the quality questions. I'll give this Celeb happy hour some more thought, for sure. And we'll reconvene here next Thursday at 2. Adios.

In This Chat
Jen Chaney
Jen Chaney anchors The Washington Post's Celebritology blog, The Post's online window into the world of pop culture and celebrities. She also frequently writes about entertainment trends, filmmakers and other Hollywood-related matters for the print edition of The Washington Post.

A Post staffer for more than a decade, Jen also can be seen reviewing movies on WETA's "Around Town," where she is one of the show's regular film critics. Last year, she contributed a series of essays to the book, "The Friday Night Lights Companion."

When she isn't blogging, at the movies or watching a television show, she's ... um ... probably at home watching a movie or a TV show.

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