Celebritology Live

May 20, 2010

Join Celebritology bloggers Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney to gab about the latest celebrity gossip and pop culture news making waves across the Web.

Running a few minutes behind so bear with me. We've got a little breaking news: Lindsay Lohan is apparently a wanted woman. Wanted by a California judge, that is, who is peeved that Lilo failed to show up for a scheduled court appearance today.

We'll have an update posted in the blog momentarily. But in the meantime, let's get started...

Oh, and one more update: Jen is out on assignment, so I'll be helming the show solo today. So go easy on me.

This is the 2nd time Matt Lauer has been the center of cheating allegations. My only question is, who in the name of god would cheat on Annette Roque Lauer? I remember her from when she was a model, and was struck back then at her incredible beauty. She is one of the most beautiful women ever; why any man would go out for hamburger when he has steak at home is a real head-scratcher.

Allow me to answer your question with a question: Have you seen Elin Nordegren?

I was going to say the same thing Paul did. Not to mention who would cheat on Sandra Bullock. I'm guessing it doesn't have much to do with trading up -- I mean, look at the women Tiger was "dating" -- so much as it does with getting some kind of illicit affair thrill.

Is it confirmed that Kelly Preston is pregnant, or is that just an assumption (albeit a reasonable one)?

People Magazine, which often has a direct line to the stars, sourced their confirmation of her pregnancy as coming from "the family." And I don't think they meant the mafia, so yeah, I'm guessing it's pretty much confirmed.

The initial announcement from Travolta and Preston was oddly phrased, though, and left some room for ambiguity. My first thought (coming so quickly on the heels of them losing their two dogs) was that they were adopting a puppy.

Guess not!

I hate to say it, but Lindsey needs to spend some time in jail, if for no other reason, to keep her out of the clubs for a while.

Someone stole her passport? I honestly don't believe that - my best guess is that she lost it while partying her hind off in Cannes (and how goes she still get invited to these places and pay for it?)

I also thought it said volumes when, after she claimed that she was "frantic" to get back to the US and make her court date, she was seen later the same night, in thigh-high stockings and mini skirt, leaving a party on some millionaire's ship. Just a shame.

I know. I'm skeptical, too. But we have to take her at her word, I suppose. Until, that is, some French fisherman finds her passport tightly bound to a rock at the bottom of the ocean near her hotel.

I know you two will be happy and sad that LOST will be over on Sunday. Have you thought about another show to be obsessive about? I'm a LOST fan, too, but I think I can transfer my addiction ot "Mad Men" quite easily. Although it doesn't have the puzzles of LOST, it definntely has the writing, acting, characters, depth, etc. Extra bonus: "Mad Men" theme happy hours could be really classy affairs. Just a suggestion!

I think Jen and I answered a similar question last week, but to reiterate: I don't think there is another show like Lost out there and probably won't be for a very long time, if ever. So we have no plans to give the same in-depth treatment to another show. Nope. Back to Lilo news and box office reports we go.

But speaking of "Lost," two things:

1. Make sure to read Jen's interview with show runners Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse.

2. Join us tonight in Adams Morgan at The Reef for our "Lost" farewell fest happy hour.

I must say, The FLOTUS looked stunning last night and I thought that having her hair in soft curls was lovely. Whip smart, tall, gorgeous - what's not to like!?

Michele Obama


Oh, well, then you are the perfect consumer for today's washingtonpost.com Michelle Obama's Changing Hair photo gallery.

But, I concur -- I thought Michelle looked just stunning. The first lady of Mexico -- also cute, but really could stand a foundation garment fitting, if you catch my drift.

I get that Beiber hating is all the rage, but I like that "Baby Baby Baby" song. And I'm 31.

Sorry. His hair is awful and he seems to have a bit too much swagger for a kid, but he can sing a catchy pop tune. Bigger question is, when did catchy pop tunes become so declasse? It seems that if a lot of people like something, it's now not cool to like it either. Sad.

I think catchy pop tunes put out by somewhat manufactured teen sensations have always been the target of scoffing from certain quarters. Which doesn't preclude said manufactured sensations from being good singers, passable musicians or writing a catchy tune.

I can, for instance, still totally have fun at the expense of New Kids on the Block while enjoying an occassional hearing of "Hangin' Tough."

Other than bragging rights and networking opportunities, is there any fun attached to a State Dinner? Was John Travolta dancing with Princess Diana the highlight of these affairs? Are there after-parties?

I imagine the fun is similar to other high profile events in D.C. -- it's all about seeing and being seen. As for after-parties, you'd have to ask our Reliable Sourcettes -- who were all over last night's event.

I'm guessing she is a slob and it's "lost" under a pile of clothes, shoes and empty cigarette packs.

Sure, that passport could be mouldering away in some forgotten Fendi bag.

I realize this is a very personal choice, but the thought of getting pregnant at 47 just makes me want to go take a nap. I had a baby last year when I was 39 and he takes a lot of energy. I can't imagine doing it in my late forties. I surely wish them well and hope for a healthy baby.

Well, I'm 38 and pregnant and while I feel pretty good, this baby is totally kicking my tushie. I can't imagine doing it a decade from now, but hey, if Kelly's up for it -- more power to her.

Is there any chance that Lindsay Lohan will make an appearance at this evening's Lost party? In keeping with the occasion, LiLo would appear as a Lost Passport.

If only, sas... If only.

So Bret Michaels is now blamin' porn for the stroke? At least that's what MSNBC is reporting. You can't make this stuff up.

Michaels blames 'Busty Cops 3' for hemorrhage - Celebrities

Whoa whoa whoa -- flipping between porn and SportsCenter can give you a brain hemorrhage? Why am I just learning this now?


Golly. I can't believe this didn't surface in the Oprah interview.

Wow. You know, I have always been a Bret Michaels fan, but I just like the guy more and more every day.

And, to the previous questioner, Bret is another example of a musician/entertainer who is equally deserving of our praise/gentle derision.

TMZ is saying she'll be nabbed straight off the plane. This makes me think she might actually do a few days, but I don't think she'll get much worse than that. Probably like Paris Hilton's jail time.

Perhaps she's just doing research for her next straight-to-Cinemax film?

Now Paul. We know Lilo has at least two somewhat legit acting gigs lined up. She'll be playing a porn star in one and the victim of a slasher in another.

Okay, so maybe you have a point.

As for being nabbed off the plane -- I don't think that equals jail time as long as she can cough up that $100K in bail money and agrees to the alchohol monitoring and drug testing.

Reprising his General Hospital role?

"I find doing the soap very interesting, and I like doing it because it's a different kind of acting," the 32-year-old Franco said.

Are we really supposed to believe this? However, having read one of his short stories in Esquire, I firmly believe he should not give up the acting gigs.

I know. His short story wasn't really my cup of tea, either, but I still think James Franco is an interesting cat. I think you're kind of implying that he's doing the "General Hospital" gig again because he needs cash or can't land any other work and that just isn't the case. He's a sought after actor with a few movies in various stages of production and back in school again. I think he does what feels right at the moment and, right now, well he's up for more G.H.

By the way... another mediocre actor-turned-writer: Ethan Hawke.

when will the madness end? Can we not take 10 extra seconds to type "Mrs. Obama", "the President" or, heaven forbid, "Justice Sotomayor"? Let us show the world Washington is NOT a den of iniquity and creepy-sounding acronyms!

I was a little surprised that Sotomayor wasn't on hand for last night's dinner. I think Anthony Kennedy was the justice in attendance.

-- COTUS (Celebritologist of the U.S.)

"The first lady of Mexico -- also cute, but really could stand a foundation garment fitting, if you catch my drift."

Oh Liz! You'd put Margarita Zavala in a Spanx?

Margarita Zavala


Ehrm, no. I was aiming a little bit higher, actually.

I don't think the Travoltas are having a baby. The phrasing of the announcement was too deliberately ambiguous. I think it's a dog!

A baby dog?

Do you think she'll stay in Europe like Polanski? That could class up her career.

Nope. She's already announced her intention, via her lawyer, to return tomorrow.

Hi, wonder if you find Bieber's swagger annoying?

Me? Find Justin Bieber annoying? Surely you jest.

Saw he's getting a new show. Is it wrong that I'm super cranky that it's not Rock of Love 4?

No, not wrong at all! I mean, how will L.A.'s hordes of strippers who want to be on TV find their way in front of a camera now? Jesse James can't date all of them.

Here's the scoop on Bret's new show, from the same article linked earlier:

Michaels' next reality show will be a more sober look at his struggle to balance his family with his rockin' lifestyle in VH1's "Life as I Know It."

I mean, we all knew "Rock of Love" was a massive sham, but it will be kind of whiplash-inducing to see him go from presiding over a house full of skanques to presiding over his own happy home, kids included.

I always thought Nightline was a news show. Have I missed something? Jesse James on Nightline to talk about his cheating and such? Wouldn't that be an "interview" better suited to, say, Access Hollywood, E! or some other celeb-centric show?

I guess it's best-suited to any show looking to cash in on what is sure to be a ratings grabber. I guess "Nightline" isn't immune to wanting a hit on their hands.

Nobody likes that song, it's too popular. Along the same lines - Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded.

Yogi Berra, give credit where it is due.

Okay, so if a guy gets off on the whole illicit thing, when he has a beautiful wife, why would he not

  • (a) pick someone beautiful to have an affair with (the women these guys choose seem to be, to the person, skanks) and 
  • (b) pick someone who DOESN'T have a heck of a lot to gain by going public/hiring Gloria Allred/etc.?

In other words, pick someone who won't kiss and tell? These guys just seem really D-U-M-B in their choice of "mistresses."

The kinds of women who engage in affairs with famous married men are, by definition, skanks, no?



Paul, I don't think that's a direction we want to take in this discussion.  I'm pretty sure we've gone there before and it doesn't end well.

As for the guys and the women they're choosing for these trysts -- I'm not sure they're thinking much about the implications when they make these choices. I'm not sure thinking really enters into the equation at all.

Liz...as baby day must be drawing very near..have you had "the talk" with Paige, Opie & Andy: "I love you all very much and always will..but we are being joined by a new little one with no fur, interesting smells, and who screams a little (a LOT) now and then"?

Oh yes. We've had that discussion a few times already. By the way, Andy is currently sprawled out in the just-assembled Pak n' Play bassinet (or, as he sees it, new cat bed).

Is on my laminated list of 5, so I will hear nothing negative about him! Kidding...his writing leaves something to be desired. And besides, I'm not interested in READING his work...I'd much rather view it. Shirtless, if possible.

Yay Paul!

Do I lose my celebritology credentials if I admit to having seen a celeb couple last week and just acted normal? (BTW, they seemed to appreciate that.)

Not at all. We here at Celebritology are not in the business of encouraging slack-jawed gawking or girly-ish freakouts in the presence of fame.

The JIA, you mean.


Or, ummm...


Having had a passport stolen, I can state from experience that one very much still CAN come home on a regularly scheduled flight.

The embassies are a P.I.T.A. to have to navigate on this issue, but they move fast on it -- especially if you've got a police report (or better, escort). Honestly, getting you temporary papers is secondary to them; they just worry about nulling the stolen passport for security and other reasons.

Celebritology legal team?

Indeed, there's got to be a State Department lawyer or two out there in our Celebritology Legal Guild.

According to TMZ, btw, Lilo did not report her supposedly stolen passport to French authorities.

He'll just pass the extras on to Tiger Woods and Josh Duhamel.

True. It takes a village.

Who else would keep the San Fernando Valley gainfully employed by buying it's soft core porn?

Who says I was hating?

Okay, ummm, noted.

Could I just let you all know that my outfit is really well-coordinated today? Retro blouse, vintage jewelery, kicky denim skirt. I work at home so there's no-one to appreciate this but me. Thanks for letting me share--you all are awesome.

Well thank you for sharing. I think you owe it to yourself to come out to our happy hour tonight to show off your killer duds.

First-run theater, second-run theater, DVD, or 3:00 a.m. on old movie channel several years from now?

Seeing Val Kilmer in an alarming state of bloat and Will Forte in a really bad wig doesn't seem too appealing, but buzz on this has been surprisingly good. (MacGruber is trying to save Washington, D.C. from a nuclear bomb, so some local interest!) Thoughts?

Umm, well, my plan is to wait until I accidentally catch it on a cross-country plane trip. I am just having trouble believing they can stretch what is a one-note one-minute sketch into a feature length film. 

And without Betty White? Why, it's a recipe for disaster.

So are you going to hop on during nap time to tell us Baby Liz's name after the birth or do we have to hear it from Weingarten?

I'm sure Weingarten will pass it along, but so will Jen -- in the blog and here, too, I hope.

If you'd told me 10 years ago (or whenever we first learned of Paris Hilton's existence) that in 2010 Lindsay would look old enough to be Paris's mom, I'd have laughed you out of my airless cubicle.

And really, Lilo's behavior is so 2006/2007 -- back when Paris, Nicole Richie, Britney and all the starlets were misbehaving, doing jail time. Lilo's let this thing carry on far too long. I mean, who ever would have thought that Paris and Nicole would one day seem downright sensible and mature compared to Lilo?

Oh, so partying in Cannes with a new love interest is not an excuse? Since when!? Does that judge have any idea how often an opportunity like this comes up? I mean, we are on Lilo time here. The rest of the world and their so called "rules" can wait a couple days.

This is also how I act when Liz tells me it's time to start the chat.

Yep. Paul's all like "Do I have to come back to D.C. and produce nowwww? I'm partying with Dominic Cooper and pretty sure I can find a way to get on Jay-Z's party yacht. Besides, I lost my work ID!"

I'll admit it -- I follow celebrity news. I love looking at the red carpet photos and all of that. However, can I just say... I HATE US Weekly. The report all of these "breaking headlines", which are just ridiculous.

Take today's headlines: "Jennifer Aniston asks to be retouched on new film" from a "source".

SO WHAT?! The woman is over 40, and she STILL looks great. Not to mention nearly everyone in Hollywood is retouched in photos.

Next on the list "Heidi Pratt to Director: Cast me in Transformers 3!"

Does this woman truly have any fans? I mean, really? She's fame hungry and just flat out annoying. Congratulations, you are famous for having 10 plastic surgeries in one day, and making such comments as "beauty is really from the inside" when being interviewed about it.

How can people put this on the air, let alone in magazines? Talk about vapid. And why is this even news? What about the other bazillion people who'd like to be cast in "Transformers 3"? Where are those headlines?

I just can't deal with that magazine, and I wish it would go away. I miss the days when all of the celebrities were true celebrities who've actually done something worth talking about, other than being crazy.

End rant.

Feel better?

The consulate can given you a temp passport if you lost the other one or had it stolen. Good idea to photocopy the face page of your passport in case it gets lost/stolen....

Somehow I don't see Lilo as the type of traveler to copy her passport in triplicate and place each copy in a separate, secure place.

Got to disagree about First Lady's fashions at last nights little shindig. She's started to believe her own press and is trying too hard what with the one shoulder bit and the belted waist. She's much better when she doesn't look like she's trying to get noticed. Not a time for fancy dos and fashion trends when the country is in such a mess.

I thought her dress was just right. Not over the top, but not typical dowdy D.C. The color was lovely for her and the cut was modern, unexpected. And she's got serious rights to rock the one-shouldered look -- she practically launched a one-shouldered trend on inauguration night, so it didn't surprise me to see her returning to that look again.

And I'm just not buying the "this isn't a time to look fancy" argument. I mean, it's a state dinner -- don't we want our first lady to shine? It isn't as if she showed up wearing Katy Perry's Costume Institute disaster.

Who'd sleep with Matt Lauer? Ick nast.

I don't know. But it does kind of add another dimension to that yearly "Today" show feature "Where in the world is Matt Lauer?" I mean, he may not want us to know...

Producer Paul, you are a scholar and a gentleman. And how did you enjoy Ms. Johannsen's most recent turn in plunging black Lycra? I liked it when she body-slammed Jon Favreau. (I think he did too.)

I keep meaning to mention this -- finally, three of my favorite things have come together: ScarJo, comic books and Slurpees.

Eye roll.

I moved to NYC 5 weeks ago (still miss DC!) and just saw in the subway a guy who is a carbon copy of the actor who plays Jack on Lost. Blanking on the name. Anyway, I gave him the side-eye but didn't say anything. Should I have demanded to see some ID?

My friend Amy, who lived in Manhattan for years, but moved to Brooklyn when the kid came, prides herself and her fellow New Yorkers on the treatment of celebs in their midst: They are largely left to go about their business.

Okay, that's it for today. Thanks for the hour of sanity in what has been a chaotic week.

Hope to see at least some of you at tonight's happy hour!

In This Chat
Liz Kelly
Accredited Celebritologist Liz Kelly monitors the ups, downs and in-betweens of the stars. She is uniquely qualified to write this blog because of her alarming interest in celebrities and pop culture -- and because Sandra Bullock, Shirley MacLaine and Warren Beatty attended her high school (not at the same time, but still...)
Jen Chaney
Also an accredited Celebritologist, Jen focuses on pop culture news and trends in the entertainment world.

In addition to overseeing movie content for the Post's Web site, she also writes regularly about film, DVDs and stars of screens large and small.

When she isn't blogging or at the movies, she's ... um ... probably at home, watching a movie.

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