The Washington Post

Christina Hendricks' 'shoes,' Klepto Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Portmanbeau, and much more with Celebritology Live

Feb 03, 2011

Join Celebritology bloggers Jen Chaney and Liz Kelly to gab about the latest celebrity gossip and pop culture news making waves across the Web.

Welcome. Jen may be a little late. She claims she's working on a blog post, but I suspect that she -- like everyone else in the metro area -- is actually sitting in on Gene Weingarten's 2 p.m. Dan Snyder hate-fest.

I would like to remind you that through the magic of multiple browser windows, you can participate and track both Gene's chat and this one.

Now, to the matter at hand -- is Lindsay Lohan a clepto or what?

What started all this kerfluffle between Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry over custody of their daughter? They seemed pretty mellow and all the sudden -- the wheels came off the cart!

Well, according to People, it was Halle's explosive reaction to seeing Gabriel attend a Lakers game with Kim Kardashian. Even though that relationship didn't make it past two dates, it reportedly upset Halle to think about who baby Nahla might come into contact with around daddy.

But considering the recordings, texts and e-mails from Halle that Aubry reportedly has squirreled away as insurance, there's obviously more to the story. And it's looking like it may be an ugly story. Can it possibly be worse than "Catwoman?" That remains to be seen.

First, thank you Liz and Jen for putting a link to the Morning Mix in the column. Secondly, I have been out of the loop and missed a crucial celebritology news flash -- who is the father of Kate Hudson's new bun in the oven? (And does he have the title of "fiance" yet?)

The father of Kate's next production is Muse frontman Matthew Bellamy. She started dating him last spring -- definitely post A-Rod.

I have always liked Nicole Kidman, but am wondering: why is she still talking about her marriage to/divorce from Tom Cruise? Esp. if she is so "crazy in love" as she claims with Keith Urban?

Good question. Fair question. And I don't know that I'll have a satisfying answer.

My guess would be because she keeps getting asked about it. Like it or not, she was married to TC for a decade and has two children with the man.

And if I'm not mistaken, she actually has been more forthcoming about her relationship with Cruise in recent years than ever. Maybe she's just getting to a point where she feels she's processed it.

That or the Scientology statute-of-limitations ran out.

I know I risk the ire of several regular Celebritology bloggers here, but ... are Christina Hendricks' "shoes" (ya know what I mean) real?

We may need to call Producer Paul out of retirement to do a special investigation.

Here are Paul's two responses, in the order they were received:

1. Would it be a hands-on investigation?

2. I believe their has been no reliable verification that they are fake, they fit her body type, and she's talked about how they have hurt her career, so I would rule "real."

Pete Jackson is out of the hospital and ready to film the Lord of the Rings prequel. What about the sequel? You know it's coming! Sauron's son is in Middle Earth and he's out for vengeance? You could also expand the marketing; in addition to rings, add bracelets?

That sounds remarkably like the plot of TNT's new "Dallas" reboot. I'm kind of scared that I even just drew that comparison.

Stop suggesting these ideas! Hollywood may actually implement them.

i don't expect much from LL, but this latest shoplifting thing just puzzles me. When you're a well known figure, you have to think people are watching you when you're in a store (plus all those pesky security cameras). Is it the thrill of gettting away with something, or perhaps a compulsion? I don't get it.

Frankly, I don't either. And I'm kind of inclined to believe her story that it was a stylist's mistake and the stylist who had the necklace and was tardy in returning it.

But -- I do recall at least one other instance in which Lilo was accused of walking off with, I believe, a fur coat. So, who knows... maybe she's got some sticky fingers. Apparently the investigation is still underway, so there will likely be more details to come.

What is Natalie & Benjamin's celebrity couple name? Natjamin? Benalie? We need a moniker! And how long do you give the relationship? I just don't think these whirlwinds last.

Well, according to a recent study (that Jen wrote about earlier this week), Natalie will have a much better chance at relationship bliss if she DOES NOT win the Best Actress Oscar.

As for their portmanteau, I'll throw it out to the crowd. What can we do with these names?

Natalie Portman/Benjamin Millipied

There is no good combo on those two names, I'm sorry.

As for the relationship, I was going to make the same crack Liz did, and give it no time at all given the alleged curse that could soon afflict Portman.

But seriously, it may last.  Portman doesn't come across as someone who enters into relationships lightly. I'll give them the benefit of doubt before getting all snarky.

How have her "shoes" hurt her career? Does she mean she's not taken seriously or gets only vampy roles or something? (Sorry, I've never watched Mad Men...)

Paul, for whom I have now become a sort of medium, says watch this while he researches an answer.

Honey, when you've spent all your money on lawyers and partying sometimes a five finger discount is all you can afford.


Did Paul actually type "their has been no reliable verification"?

Well, cut him a break. He's actually keeping the rest of the Post site running while trying to take the time to type a coherent answer.

Speaking of which, he offers this link by way of his final answer.

Portapied. Or, Port-a-pied. --From the poster known as Californian

Yes, that is the obvious choice, isn't it?

But I'm so never typing that when I write about the two of them.

Liz, You're pro-Jolie stance has been noted here many atimes. That's fine. However, your answer to the Nicole Kidman question makes me think you are more of an anti-Aniston. I say this because every time Aniston makes a movie, she is asked about Brad and Angelina, and she makes a statement. Then everybody gets all upset about her never getting over it and that she is using the story as publicity. Yet, you stick up for Nicole when the same thing you just not like Aniston? You can tell me, it's ok

Wow, thanks for reaching way far and bringing Jen Aniston into the Nicole Kidman/Tom Cruise equation.

Listen, Nicole is an Oscar nominee and therefore has a project to promote (to some degree), so yes, it is in her best interest to make headlines. Have we seen her make use of this tactic in the past every - single -time she has a project to promote? No.

I dunno. Or maybe I just don't like Jennifer Aniston.

What should CBS do? What will they do? Do you think the honchos at CBS should have stepped up sooner?

But wait, Charlie has -- like Errol Flynn -- put down his sword. Though I hesitate to speculate what Sheen refers to by that appelation.

I'm guessing that now that Charlie is in self-imposed in-house rehab, that CBS will sit tight and wait it out. The guy is now ratings gold, unfortunately.

Oh no, it IS the apocalypse. I agree with Joan Rivers again. What was Kim Kardashian doing at the SAG Awards? And who knew she even had a SAG card? I didn't think what she did on film was considered screen acting.

She somehow gets invited to every awards show on Earth. It's amazing.

I am pretty sure we won't see her at the Oscars, though. Perhaps that will bring you some peace.

Have you see the trailer for the new Mel Gibson movie, The Beaver? He looks really dreadful physically and emotionally and it can't all be clever makeup. Along those lines, were any charges ever filed against him over the alleged physical abuse of his GF?

To answer your second question first, no charges filed. That custody battle, and the investigation into charges of abuse, is still ongoing, I believe.

Re: the trailer: I have seen it. And I honestly think it could be a very interesting movie. It will premiere next month at South by Southwest; the lead programmer said he was hesitant to include it because he didn't want all the baggage that inevitably comes with "the Mel Gibson movie." But he liked the film enough that he didn't feel right about leaving it out.

So we'll see.

If you're Charlie Sheen and in rehab for the umpteenth time, maybe Errol Flynn (who died at 50) is not the old-time movie star you want to be emulating? Sheen's remarks don't seem to indicate a sincere desire to clean up his lifestyle.

The funniest thing on SNL this weekend was Seth Myers's joke re: sheen. Something about it being a good thing Sheen was carrying around his cocaine in a briefcase so that people would see him and think "There goes Charlie Sheen with a bunch of paperwork."

I'm waiting for Martin Sheen to step in with some tough love and maybe knock Charlie's head against the wall or something. Any hope this might turn into reality TV or something ?

Meanwhile, Martin and other son Emilio Estevez are co-writing a book about their close relationship. That has to be a bit of a slap in the sword... err... face.

Liz, Gene says Hi. (Over in his chat.) How's it going over here? I really, really miss the Lost chats, by the way. Any chance you could make something happen? Thanks!

Something happen as in like "Lost" coming back out of retirement so we can have fresh material to over-analyze in both chat and blog form? Probably not.

But do check out the piece Jen wrote yesterday on the anniversary of the premiere of the final season.

I think our best hope at this point is that "Alcatraz" -- the series I mentioned in the post that Liz linked to -- gets picked up. Then we could start discussing that.

J.J. Abrams and other members of the "Lost" team are behind it, Jorge Garcia is in it, it's about an island, there could be a time travel element in it -- all the elements are there.

Of course, they should probably finish shooting the pilot before we get our hopes up.

Silly Celebritology chatters...the other browser windows we have open are for the work we're supposed to be doing. On another note, are any celebrities currently penning books (other than Don Rumsfeld and other than memoirs) that we should put on our birthday lists for 2011?

Actually, "Jersey Shore's" JWOWW will be dropping her book --  "The Rules According to JWOWW" -- next week.

... For ratings, perhaps?

Really? The Critics' Choice Awards -- which aired on VH1 on a Friday night -- thinks Kardashian will be the answer to their ratings prayers?

Maybe they do, it just seems odd.

Is that some kind of nipple joke? Because she was assured there wouldn't be any.


Maybe not a clepto, but rather mistakenly believes that she is a bigger movie star than she is and that these items should be freely given as gifts or honorariums. You know, like Weingarten and used panties.

Too true. I can't tell you how many "free" oosiks that guy has.

Wonder if the Best Actress curse still works if you're not there to accept the award. When is Natalie Portman due?

Ooh, interesting potential loophole.

Well she's not due until this summer -- I don't think she's said specifically when -- so I suspect she'll be there on Feb. 27.

Natamin? Milliman? Natapied? Benatalimapiedaman?

See, i'm not liking any of these. Even Portapied. Maybe we need to wait for the kid to be born so we can incorporate his/her name.

It's too bad you're not still producing Gene's chats, Liz...this would make for an intriguing multitasking effort right now!

I have to admit that I'm feeling a little lost right now knowing he's fending off thousands of questions and I'm not there to help him. I am Gene co-dependent.

So Liz, you still watching '30 Rock' these days? I thought the pre-emptive disaster telethon bit was hilarious, from outing Robert DeNiro as an Englishman to Jenna singing the theme song, "The thing, the thing that happened to the people it happened to..." Bet Mel Gibson won't guest star any time soon.

I am still watching, but missed last week's show thanks to being out of town and returning to a DVR purged of content by a power outage. I need to jump on Hulu and catch up.

That's what I would call them. But I suppose it won't take off as it puts his name first. Natalien just doesn't have a ring to it.

Hmm, Natalien isn't all that bad. Sounds like a new nationality.


Another option: they could each continue to go by their own names and we wouldn't have to abbreviate them in a ridiculously cutesy fashion.


Portpied -- interesting. It sounds like some sort of comfort food dish.

Sure, if your comfort food involves the seashore and feet.

Why is CS taking time out of his (cough, cough) rehab & sobriety to be texting Acess Hollywood, E! & TMZ that all the stories about him are "lies", etc. As Dr. Drew would say, it sounds like he hasn't surrendered to his disease. Which makes me wonder, what is it going to take for him to hit "rock bottom"?

If you ask me, the guy is already several levels below rock bottom -- somewhere in the vicinity of the Kingdom of the Mole.

Did you guys think it was pretty funny that Claire Danes thanked "my favorite husband" in her acceptance speech for her SAG award? I know it was a nervous slip, but I did jokingly think, what, do she and Hugh have some kind of Big Love thing going on there?

I did think that was funny, albeit unintentional. Dancy looked amused, too.

Really think you guys should check out Fringe if you want a replacement for the Lost obsession. Multiple universes, chosen ones (Peter), crazy scientists, shapeshifters etc. I'd tune into a chat about that.

I know  -- I keep meaning to check it out and it doesn't happen.

I tried the first few episodes of season 1 and wasn't all that enthralled. Maybe I need to give it another chance?

Given the drama in Cairo, and idea on who (if any ) are Hollywood's prominent celebs of Egyptian desent?

Aside from Omar Sharif, I'm stumped.

It'll never happen. But heaven help us if they decide to a movie or five based on The Silmarillion.

Agreed. I'm a little worried about "The Hobbit," but if anyone can pull it off it's Peter Jackson.

I'm slightly more excited, though, about the movie and tv adaptations of "The Dark Tower" that will start rolling out in the next couple of years.

Not to get too highbrow here, but did either of you watch Downton Abbey on Masterpiece Theater. Now that's television! (Countdown commencing for the return of Sherlock! too)

Yet another TV show I have been meaning to watch. Have heard wonderful things, just haven't gotten there.

I know, I don't make enough time in my life for TV. It's just wrong.

Same here. But I have noted that all of Downton Abbey is available on iTunes and I plan to download and watch just as soon as I have a free 6 hours. That should be in approximately 18 years.

is Egyptian American.

Righto. Hoda is indeed of Egyptian descent. And a graduate of Virginia Tech.

Single name monikers for couples are reserved for coules composed of A-listers. As an A and D list couple, it's Natalie Portman and that dancer guy, are they still together?

You've got a bit of a point there. Benjamin is lovely, but hardly Natalie's equal in fame.

Yes, try again. Its much different now, as certain critics say it has 'embraced its serial nature' and is all into its mythology now.

Good to know. I'll put it on my list right after "Downton Abbey."

I have heard that. And I definitely plan to watch, as soon as someone can put 27 hours into my day instead of 24.

No, seriously, I would like to watch both shows and hope to one of these days.

Doesn't seem to have harmed Meryl Streep's marriage.

No, it hasn't. She's obviously an exception to the alleged, "scientifically proven" curse.

Liz - you really must get after him. Not only did he schedule the Danny boy chat opposite yours, he has already signed off. Didn't even last an hour!

Well, he is getting old and (dare I say it) incontinent.

She is the exception that proves the rule that all rules have exceptions.


Liz, Do you see the irony in being a Year of the Pig vegetarian?

So based on my Chinese zodiac symbol I should be some kind of pork fiend?

Year of the Pig? All my Asian friends are celebrating the new Year of the Rabbit.

Yes -- Menswear is referring to my admission in the blog that I was born in the Year of the Pig.


If only she was with someone named Bateau. Or Gateau.

How are the kitties bearing up in the wintry mix?

They're good. Andy is currently curled up on the cable box here in my office (hence his new nickname, "Cable box.") And Opie is elsewhere -- but I hear him sneezing from time to time. Seems to have the sniffles.

Curiously, this pairing didn't crop up on Gene's Snyder-chat this afternoon. Now if you'd been producing it...

You're right. I would have immediately cited Snyder's TC connection and spun an elaborate theory in which E-Meters would be covertly deployed at the City Paper's offices.

Downton Abbey goes Netflix streaming next week!

Ooh, good to know. Thanks!

All you have to do is let yourself fall for Pacey. I don't know what mental trick my husband used, but he also loves Fringe. Also, John Noble is a bag full of awesome. Just watch it. All of it. And then come back and set up ridiculous chats for all of us to waste time in.

We'll do our best.

He'll be forever known as the Portmanbeau.


Errol is infamous for tapping out "You Are My Sunshine" on a piano with his sword.

That is a skill indeed.

But I was really bummed that Alec Baldwin won a 5th SAG award. I was pulling for Ty Burrell, who I think is one of the funniest men on television, but I would have been okay with Steve Carrell, as this is his last year with The Office, or Ed O'Neill, who is long overdue. Is he REALLY that much better than the rest of the field?

I agree with you and said as much during the live SAGs chat. Baldwin is great, but it's time for someone else to get a turn.

I also would have liked to see a Burrell win.

Ladies, perhaps you might increase the click count on Celebritology by getting San Snyder to sue you.

Hmm, I'm not sure we can arrange that. But I could maybe get Jen to sue me.

I refuse to sue you, Kelly. Stop trying to bait me.

What if I didn't return your dry-cleaned pants promptly?

Oh, now you *are* barking up the right tree.

I'll give it another chance if you do, Liz! I liked the first season, but haven't been able to get hooked this season.

Deal -- but only if Jen does, too. I'm constitutionally unable of becoming utterly addicted to a show without Jen right there with me.

I'll try my best. Sheesh -- you all are relentless.

Maybe Danny and his thugs showed up and pulled the chat plug.

Impossible. They'd never find him in that basement.

Now you've done it! The ultimate insult. You typed his name wrong. He will sue for sure.

Quatch did it. Not us!

and I'm totally out of the loop! Celeb news moves fast. I don't have a clue what you guys are talking about.

It's okay. Neither do we.

Which is probably a sign that this is a good place to wrap up this week. We'll see you here next week... same time, same place.

In This Chat
Jen Chaney
An accredited Celebritologist, Jen focuses on pop culture news and trends in the entertainment world.

In addition to overseeing movie content for the Post's Web site, she also writes regularly about film, DVDs and stars of screens large and small.

When she isn't blogging or at the movies, she's ... um ... probably at home, watching a movie.

Celebritology Live Archive
Liz Kelly
Accredited Celebritologist Liz Kelly monitors the ups, downs and in-betweens of the stars. She is uniquely qualified to write this blog because of her alarming interest in celebrities and pop culture -- and because Sandra Bullock, Shirley MacLaine and Warren Beatty attended her high school (not at the same time, but still...)
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