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March 27, 2014

2:15
P.M.

Web Hostess Live: The latest from the Web

Total Responses: 57

About the hosts

About the host

Host: Monica Hesse

Monica Hesse

Monica Hesse is a staff writer for the Post Style section. She frequently writes about culture, the Web and the intersection of the two.

Read the The Web Hostess Archive .

About the topic

A weekly chat about the best ways to kill time online. Our Web Hostess, Monica Hesse, sifts the Internet so you don't have to, searching for meaning, manners and the next great meme.
Q.

Monica Hesse :

I'm here! I'm here, I'm here! I was just operating off of a clock that apparently never changed for daylight savings, and didn't realize how late it was. Is anyone else still here? (Please say yes, and also come up with something to talk about.)

Q.

March 20

Did I miss a discussion last week? (*Your* discussion last week, that is ...) Not a snarky question; I'm so old now I can't remember if I read it or not, and I can't find it listed in the archives. Moochas gracias.
A.
Monica Hesse :

You did not. I had to do a last-minute cancellation because I was traveling in a dead, Internetless tundra of Ohio.

– March 27, 2014 2:18 PM
Q.

You forgot about is, didn't you?

Its ok. We understand.
A.
Monica Hesse :

I DID NOT. I just forgot about the time.

– March 27, 2014 2:19 PM
Q.

The 18 approved ladies North Korean haircuts

Which one is your style

A.
Monica Hesse :

This is tremendously fascinating. I wonder what the government gets out of limiting hairstyle selection. Is it just that once people are allowed to choose their own hair, they'll just go hog wild and demand choice in other things, like jeans style and presidents?

– March 27, 2014 2:21 PM
Q.

Television Without Pity

I just saw that TWoP is being shut down--and no forums after May. I admit I'm rocked by this; I've been going there since the late 90s. So...suggestions for other fun places to discuss tv?
A.
Monica Hesse :

Chatters, other discussions for forums? In general, I'm most fond of the recaps on Vulture, but they don't have the participatory forums you're looking for.

– March 27, 2014 2:22 PM
Q.

Diane Rehm Show

At least you made it to Diane Rehm's Show on time yesterday, missy! You sound so sweet on the radio. I hope you'll read the next novel a I translate (or even the previous one).
A.
Monica Hesse :

Thank you! I also met Jimmy Carter, if by "met," you include, "He walked by me in the studio." And when it comes to heads of state, I really think being in the same room counts as "meeting." Almost.

– March 27, 2014 2:23 PM
Q.

Chat

I always feel like this chat is operating in another dimension, and only on rare and obscure occasions - the sunlight strikes a certain spot on a tree, an incantation is spoken by the seventh son of a seventh son - do our universes align and the gateway opens, revealing... I dunno, a small untidy pile of books in an armchair with a lazy tabby cat sleeping atop it. And Benedict Cumberbatch, because why not.
A.
Monica Hesse :

I think I should be tremendously offended by this description because it hints at my terrible organizational skills (come on -- before last week, it had been months since a cancellation). However, what a delightful description. You make it sound as if this chat is "The Lake House," starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. Which, now that I type that out, I'm realizing no one else will have seen.

– March 27, 2014 2:25 PM
Q.

Here!

And we should talk about how bereft we will all be when Television Without Pity goes away on April 4. I didn't participate much on the boards, but I found my tribe there and in the recaps. Recapping shows is one of those jobs that I wish I could do (for real, you know, instead of just among friends and coworkers and other people I like to annoy randomly by talking about the beautiful brutality of The Good Wife or religion in Battlestar Galactica.)
A.
Monica Hesse :

I'm sure Hank Stuever's chat has already been besieged with people sounding off on The Good Wife, or else I would take this opportunity to discuss how I hope Alicia ends up with anyone -- aaaaanyone -- besides her governor husband by the end of the show. Including Diane. I could really root for an Alicia/Diana romance.

– March 27, 2014 2:27 PM
Q.

Please say yes, and also come up with something to talk about

The uselessness, and indeed the danger, of Daylight Saving Time in this day and age. Congress keeps moving it because it's the only sort of thing that Congress can be bipartisan about, other than declaring National Pickle Month.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Actually, I love daylight savings time and generally believe we should all be on it permanently. It's regular time that's the pits. (4 pm darkness? Ew.)

– March 27, 2014 2:28 PM
Q.

Choose Your Own Hair

I guess it's the same principle as that psychological trick that parents use to keep their toddlers in line. You know, you don't ask "Which shirt do you want to wear today?" because they'll pick something inappropriate for the situation and then tantrum when they can't wear it, but instead, "Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?" You give them the feeling of making a choice without the downside of having to deal with the consequences if you don't like their choice.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Brilliant observation. 

– March 27, 2014 2:28 PM
Q.

"the seventh son of a seventh son"

And now I'm having a Mose Allison tune-cootie.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Tune-cootie? Is that another, more awesome, term for an earworm?

– March 27, 2014 2:29 PM
Q.

"The Lake House"

No, we haven't seen it, but we did read a synopsis on Movie Spoiler one time, so we sorta get what you mean.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Yeah.

– March 27, 2014 2:29 PM
Q.

Intellectual exchange on critical social issues of modern society

In Gene Weingarten's recent discussion, he stated he doubted your belief that women are not aware when their low rider pants expose some derriere-crack yet he is willing to be convicted by you that they are not aware when this happens, since you are female and he is not. Do you have a statement to convince Gene on your position?
A.
Monica Hesse :

Only that women are very helpful beings to each other. We will go up to strange women on the subway and whisper, "Your bra strap is showing," or "You've got something on the seat of your pants," or, in this case, "Your pants. Your pants have fallen down." 

 

In all of my years of being a female and witnessing many, many exchanges like this, I have never once seen a woman say, "Cool, but it's on purpose." She always turns deep red, mouths a heartfelt "Thank you," and immediately pulls her pants up.

– March 27, 2014 2:32 PM
Q.

How do women view nuns?

Do you ever look at one and think that could be me? I rode Metro behind a monk on his way to Catholic University and I remember thinking I am not giving up my Starbucks for a scratchy brown robe.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Sometimes I am very jealous of nuns. All the nuns I know are righteous, hip people.

– March 27, 2014 2:33 PM
Q.

Endless Links

One of the more frustrating things I find about the Web is when a page (say, AOL) has a link to a story that when you click it, takes you to a page that ALSO has a link to the story (but not the story itself), which you then have to click (and if you're lucky) to get the story. I guess I'm complaining about "poor linksman(person)ship"?
A.
Monica Hesse :

Often the issue is that AOL (or whomever) is trying to promote their own content. So, say you're reading an AOL story about "The Lake House," a romantic comedy starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. And you click on a link because you want to learn more about "The Lake House." But it doesn't take you to someplace useful; instead, it takes you to another AOL article about lake houses in general. Because that way it gets more clicks.

 

It is exceedingly frustrating, and "poor linksmanship" is an excellent descriptor.

– March 27, 2014 2:35 PM
Q.

Meeting heads of state

Did he look at you? If so I would definitely count that.
A.
Monica Hesse :

He gazed in the general direction above my shoulder.

– March 27, 2014 2:36 PM
Q.

TWP

I like the AV Club - while it's not the forum experience, there's lots of snark, and chatter after a show's recap. Although they did just cancel their recaps of Blacklist.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Posting.

– March 27, 2014 2:36 PM
Q.

it hints at my terrible organizational skills

Ahh, but that's the beauty of it! I would guess that a fair percentage of the bookish and thoughtful chatters who show up here are of a similar temperament. There's something very Tolkienesque about it. We're all just sort of sporadically wandering into a wonderful land of exploration and adventures.
A.
Monica Hesse :

I mean, really, most of the time I show up and then one of -you- aren't here. And I notice. I definitely notice.

– March 27, 2014 2:36 PM
Q.

Only you, Cupcake,

Would think that a comparison of this chat to the Lake House is a compliment. Of course, the same could be said about trying to compare this chat to anything starring Keanu Reeves in a non-ironic and/or unintentionally humorous role....
A.
Monica Hesse :

Speed is a brilliant movie. I'll still watch a few minutes of it every time it's on TBS.

– March 27, 2014 2:37 PM
Q.

Re: TVWoP

Seriously, I haven't missed it since NBC Universal bought it and made it a mouthpiece for Bravo. In fact, I'm sure if I tried, I think I could probably trace the devolution of Bravo into the Andy Cohen-engineered staged reality mess that it is. But I digress. Seriously, no tears from this guy, who also blames the NBC/Uni purchase for the demise of the utterly brilliant Fametracker, which was run by the same folks that originated TVWoP and, as a result of a non-compete agreement, was subsumed in the sale and put on "permanent hiatus."
A.
Monica Hesse :

Posting.

– March 27, 2014 2:38 PM
Q.

women are very helpful beings to each other

Case in point: The Period Code, where if another woman asks you for sanitary supplies while out and about, even if she's your worst enemy, you MUST give her a spare. It's this ironclad code of honor that cannot be violated, and we all know it and abide by it.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Yes. Obviously.

– March 27, 2014 2:38 PM
Q.

Always turns deep red

That's because women slut-shame one another. There's no bro code that bros enforce.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Yeah, I know where you're trying to go with this, but there's a distinct and palpable difference between a woman trying to slutshame another woman and a woman trying to be helpful. And there's a distinct and palpable difference between a woman who feels she has been slutshamed and a woman who is genuinely grateful that someone else told her that her pants were falling down.

– March 27, 2014 2:40 PM
Q.

I rode Metro behind a monk

What does this have to do with how women view nuns?
A.
Monica Hesse :

Because the poster was a man, and he has feelings abount monks, so he wondered how women felt about nuns? I have no idea. This chat is a weird place.

– March 27, 2014 2:41 PM
Q.

I remember thinking I am not giving up my Starbucks for a scratchy brown robe.

I'd wear a warm brown robe forever rather than set foot in a Starbucks. Also, there are friars and nuns out there who dress just like you & me, so it seems to me that you have vastly oversimplified the issue.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Well, and also, nuns and monks can go to Starbucks.

– March 27, 2014 2:41 PM
Q.

Radio pass-bys

I "met" Donny Osmond in the same manner in which you met former President Carter. It counts. In other news, I once shared an elevator with former Secretary of State Warren Christopher. That was quite exciting. He did the "somewhere over my left shoulder" thing as well. Maybe they're trained?
A.
Monica Hesse :

I think all famous politicians probably get very good at seeming very polite while not giving you the time of day.

– March 27, 2014 2:42 PM
Q.

Nuns

OOH! OOH! Can we use this as an excuse to talk about Suor Cristina, the peppy young Sicilian nun who just rocked the Italian version of "The Voice" with an Alicia Keys rendition? I've watched this video about a hundred times this past weekend because the looks on the faces of the judges when they turn around and see the source of that soulful voice are AMAZING. And J-Ax, the tattooed rapper, who refers to a Catholic upbringing, is moved to tears by her. You can just see his faith in the entire world being restored on the spot, and he's happy like a little kid when she chooses him as her team captain. I'm not even Christian and I'm obsessed with this entire story. 

A.
Monica Hesse :

This is the greatest video.

– March 27, 2014 2:45 PM
Q.

Rare and obscure occasions...

Actually, I think it's less of a seventh son/planetary alignment thing, and more of a Gandalf "speak friend and enter" situation. It may seem very mysterious, but sometimes we're just making it out to be more complicated than it is.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Making things more mysterious and complicated than they are is half the fun.

– March 27, 2014 2:45 PM
Q.

TWOP

I'm not too upset that there won't be new content, or even about the forums, but I am VERY sad the old recaps won't remain up. Some of us are slow and haven't finished watching Veronica Mars (for example) yet. I need those! For new recaps, I like AV Club, too. Thanks for letting me share my feelings about this.
A.
Monica Hesse :

For Veronica Mars -- someone (was it on this chat? I can't remember) sent me a link to a guy who was blogging his belated watching of the entire series, and it was marvelous. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

– March 27, 2014 2:47 PM
Q.

The only nun I know...

Is a Buddhist nun (yeah, who knew?) and she totally kicks butt. And doesn't carry a ruler/yardstick. So I'm compeltely with you on the nun jealousy, based on my admittedly miniscule sample size.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Thank you.

– March 27, 2014 2:48 PM
Q.

TWoP replacement

Maybe AV Club? And EW for some shows.
A.
Monica Hesse :

EW's recaps are serviceable but not illuminating. But sometimes thats what you want, you know?

– March 27, 2014 2:48 PM
Q.

Speaking of the Evil of Daylight Savings Time....

Nos that it runs for almost 8 months of the year (early March though late October), shouldn't Daylight Savings Time become Standard Time, and then we can rename Standard Time to, I don't know, maybe Enforced Artificial Darkness Time?
A.
Monica Hesse :

I've been saying this for years. Daylight Savings should be Real Time and Standard Time should be Sad Time.

I don't know why we haven't done it already, except that I suspect it has something to do with legislators being strangely discomfited by the concept of randomly losing an entire hour and never finding it again.

– March 27, 2014 2:50 PM
Q.

I'm not even Christian and I'm obsessed with this entire story.

I'm thinking it's kind of ominous, but that's because I remember the last nun to have a to-40 hit, that Belgian (I think) Soeur Sourire, with her "Dominique" single. She ended up leaving the convent. (Debbie Reynolds played her in the movie.)
A.
Monica Hesse :

But every time nuns leave convents (The Sound of Music, Sister Act), the other sisters are very supportive to her for finding her true calling.

– March 27, 2014 2:51 PM
Q.

Making things more mysterious and complicated than they are is half the fun

Not to mention about 85% of human nature....
A.
Monica Hesse :

True.

– March 27, 2014 2:51 PM
Q.

women slut-shame one another

But where does that impulse come from in the first place? I know that whenever I see a girl trotting home alone in a mini-dress and heels in freezing weather and my internal reaction is to feel judgmental - and I always feel so guilty a second later because I know how wrong that reaction is - part of that impulse is just coming from, "I hope she stays safe for the rest of the night." We all grow up hearing horror stories about what happens to girls who "act the wrong way," and what seems like jealous hostility is sometimes just internalization of that horrible "lesson." Certainly, if I were in the walker's place and needed some kind of emergency assistance, I'd still feel safer approaching a disapproving woman than a very approving man.
A.
Monica Hesse :

What kind of judgmental do you feel? I feel a little eye-rolly, but not because I find her clothing inappropriate. Only because I'm thinking, "However good you look, it cannot possibly be worth however cold you must feel."

If you genuinely look at a woman dressed like that and judge her for wearing clothes that are too "slutty" -- hmmm. I'm not sure if that would be the typical reaction for women to have toward other women, or not. It certainly wouldn't be my reaction. Other women on the chat? Feedback?

– March 27, 2014 2:54 PM
Q.

local NPR and "he walked by me in the studio"

Ha! I can beat that. When I uSed to hang out at WNYC's studios, F. W. de Klerk was flogging an autobiography and shook hands with and smiled at everyone. Classic politician move. But, then, it wasn't Jimmy Carter. OK. You win anyway.
A.
Monica Hesse :

I'm going to admit something. I had to Google "F.W. de Klerk," because I wasn't sure if he was a former president of South Africa, or if he maybe had something to do with Germany.

– March 27, 2014 2:55 PM
Q.

Desperation

It's needing a candy bar from the vending machine and all you have - all you have - is 95 cents (the penny collection doesn't count). I've scrounged my desk drawers, my purse, my wallet, the floor. That's it. I just need a nickel. I guess there's consolation that I'm not so desperate that I'll use my debit card. Yet.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Get thee to a colleague. Don't you have anyone who can loan you a nickel? Neely Tucker and I have been loaning each other the same 20 bucks for going on three years now.

– March 27, 2014 2:56 PM
Q.

Recaps

I think the ones on TV.com (for a few select shows) are pretty good.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Posting.

– March 27, 2014 2:56 PM
Q.

Daylight Savings Time

My parents told me that during WW II they had double Daylight Savings Time part of the year (i.e., clocks set ahead 2 hours), at least in California, where they were living.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Ooh.

– March 27, 2014 2:56 PM
Q.

But every time nuns leave convents (The Sound of Music, Sister Act), the other sisters are very supportive to her for finding her true calling.

In the movies, yes. Did you ever read "The Real Maria," by Baroness von Trapp? She was kind of pissed off that the nuns made her leave and marry that nice guy.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Even after he sang Edelweiss and they made up the Cuckoo dance?

– March 27, 2014 2:57 PM
Q.

bad alumni

I graduated from a mid-sized Midwestern university. In the past week, they are the ONLY ones who have called me. At all. But they have become stalker-ish, basically calling me every evening. I recognize the number, and don't answer, because I have little desire to talk to an undergraduate and explain to them that - no, I do not wish to donate $ to my alma mater. Relatedly, my alma mater is a big basketball school, but did not make it into any tournaments this year. However, this brackets interests me FAR more than any sports-related one. Not a big fan of gluten winning, though, as I know too many celiacs for whom the stuff is purely dangerous. 

A.
Monica Hesse :

1) You need to pick up and flat out tell them you are not going to donate, or else their incessent calling is only going to get even more annoying.

 

2) I know gluten allergies are a real thing for some people with celiac disease. But I am going to predict, here and now, that in 5 years, 90% of the "gluten-free" advertising will have completely dropped off. The same way that "fat-free," trickled away in the late nineties and "carb-free" is finally beginning to wane.

– March 27, 2014 3:00 PM
Q.

Standard Time

The problem with turning DST into standard time is that on December 21 while the sun would set at 5:50 p.m., it wouldn't rise until 8:23 a.m., and all the little kiddies would be waiting for school buses in pitch darkness. The answer would be to split the difference: This fall, instead of falling back an hour, fallback 30 minutes -- so on December 21 sunrise would be 7:53 a.m. and sunset 5:20 p.m.
A.
Monica Hesse :

I say this as an American who has lived in America her entire life: Our country is not equipped to handle time changes happening in 30 minute increments. We just simply could not deal.

(By the way, yes, I will stay on later this chat, since we didnt' start until 2:15).

– March 27, 2014 3:02 PM
Q.

You are not alone.

I will admit to having seen "The Lake House." Then again, I am cloaked in the anonymity of a chat poster. (It wasn't terrible -- Keanu and Sandra are both likable enough, and it was charming enough, as long as you didn't think too hard about it. I did wait for it on either DVD or cable, though.)
A.
Monica Hesse :

The main reason to watch "The Lake House" is to watch the actual lake house and be jealous of the architecture. 

– March 27, 2014 3:02 PM
Q.

If you genuinely look at a woman dressed like that and judge her for wearing clothes that are too "slutty"

Nonononono, definitely not. It's more like, "Oh, honey, was it really worth skipping the coat just so you could look cute ALL night?"
A.
Monica Hesse :

Noted.

– March 27, 2014 3:03 PM
Q.

Good or bad thing?

Did you know that many of the pictures that Google returns from a search on your name are pictures of Gwenyth Paltrow?
A.
Monica Hesse :

That's probably a temporary thing. I was just last week nominated for a James Beard award because of a piece I wrote on Gwyneth. Probably skewed the search results.

– March 27, 2014 3:03 PM
Q.

Not to Culture-Shame You, but...

the name de Klerk is of Dutch origin, not German.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Yeah. I wasn't saying I thought the name was German. I was saying I genuinely thought the man was a figure in Germany.

– March 27, 2014 3:04 PM
Q.

Monks on the Metro

I went to Catholic University and some of my favorite professors and instructors were monks and nuns. Not all brothers wear the brown robes and they can be quite fun people. Back in the day, there would be some priests at parties.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Posting.

– March 27, 2014 3:04 PM
Q.

She was kind of pissed off that the nuns made her leave and marry that nice guy.

YES THIS IS TRUE! I once stayed at the Von Trapp Family Lodge on a ski trip, and went to a Q&A session given by the granddaughter of the Captain and Maria. The kids loved Maria so much that they started dropping hints about, "Do you like our father?", and when she said "Of course I do, he's a very nice man!", they ran to their father and "OKAY, SHE WANTS TO MARRY YOU, ASK HER." She was blindsided by the proposal - like, to the extent that she dropped a valuable heirloom she was cleaning at the time and it smashed - and she ran back to the convent in tears. The nuns prayed over it and said that it was God's will that she marry the Captain. She was indeed pissed off on her wedding day, but thankfully came to love the guy for real.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Wow. Wowwww. 

– March 27, 2014 3:05 PM
Q.

It's Not Slut-Shaming...

I've found as I get older that when I see a young woman dressed so inappropriately that my mind can't stop from going there, I just want to pull her aside and say "Honey, honey, what are you doing dressed like that?" I have to say this impulse only arises when said young woman would be unaware of what she looks like from another's point of view. I know the difference between that and young women who KNOW how they're dressed.
A.
Monica Hesse :

It's so difficult to know how to dress when you're that age. I see lots of intern types in DC go to their desk jobs wearing clothes more appropriate for clubbing. They know they're not supposed to wear jeans to work, and these are the only other clothes they have. They're missing an entire business-appropriate wardrobe.

– March 27, 2014 3:07 PM
Q.

all the little kiddies would be waiting for school buses in pitch darkness

It helps build character. Besides, pervert strangers don't get up that early.
A.
Monica Hesse :

The kids in Alaska go to school in the dark six months out of the year.

– March 27, 2014 3:08 PM
Q.

Reality of nuns' lives

I had a colleague who was a former nun (joined at age 14, back when that was still allowed), and another friend who'd considered joining. Both said that the thing that they realized they couldn't deal with was the Obedience vow.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Except that most of the nuns I know don't seem very obedient at all. There's such diversity in convent experience.

– March 27, 2014 3:09 PM
Q.

Post authors

Is there a written or unwritten rule that all WaPo authors must read books by other WaPo authors? Are you going to read Shulte's book, "Overwhelmed," that has gotten So. Much. Press.?
A.
Monica Hesse :

I'm not a mom and I think the target audience fur Brigid's book is women with a lot more on their plate than I have. But the article it was based on was great, and I fully support all of you buying it.

– March 27, 2014 3:11 PM
Q.

What is an "uncouncious uncoupling"?

Is that when you mislay your marriage, like car keys?
A.
Monica Hesse :

We shan't mock Gwyneth. Not in this chat.

– March 27, 2014 3:11 PM
Q.

no question here

but I did hear you on Diane Rehm's show. way to go! Any sharable inside info about her show?
A.
Monica Hesse :

Diane Rehm is the most stylish dresser you can imagine, with fantastic accessories and very high heeled shoes. She's the epitome of elegance.

– March 27, 2014 3:12 PM
Q.

Second the AV Club

Smart recaps and commenting with minimal "I will, never, ever, ever watch this show again" statements. No forum though.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Posting.

– March 27, 2014 3:13 PM
Q.

TV Show Recap Replacement

I realize it's only for a small number of admittedly testosterone-fueled shows, but I find the recaps on Grantland for shows like Walking Dead and Justified to be incredibly edifying.
A.
Monica Hesse :

Posting.

– March 27, 2014 3:13 PM
Q.

We shan't mock Gwyneth. Not in this chat.

Does that mean we can no longer use the adjective "insouciant" when referring to her?
Q.

What would Hamlet say?

If Hamlet say a young woman dressed inappropriately, would he say, "Get thee to a nunnery."?
Q.

When I think of Gwyneth,

I think of Goop. When I think of Goop, I think of you.
A.
Monica Hesse :

We've reached the limits of reason here. Next week I'm going to remember what time it is and see you all back here next Thursday. GSTQ.

– March 27, 2014 3:16 PM
Q.

 

A.
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