Web Hostess Live: The latest from the Web

Sep 05, 2013

A weekly chat about the best ways to kill time online. Our Web Hostess, Monica Hesse, sifts the Internet so you don't have to, searching for meaning, manners and the next great meme.

Afternoon, everyone, and thanks for stopping by. We'll be having a very wee chat (A half-chat? A chat-let) today, as I have to run at 2:30 for an interview. As such, the floor is open for as much inanity as one can accomplish in 30 minutes.

I love the new HD panda cams! The National Zoo has done a great job with gathering screenshots from users and sharing them on social networks. I must say I'm a little bummed the father of our new panda girl wasn't Gao Gao from San Diego. I could almost picture the Maury style unveiling - with Gao Gao screaming "I've never even met this panda before in my life!" and Bai Yun is all stomping off the stage... I think I need a new hobby.

What, you mean this panda cam? I'm very pleased for Tian Tian. He's quite a successful stud panda.

pls help me write an online dating ad that attracts a successful, intelligent, emotionally stable 50-something man. He needs to be free of baggage, attractive, tall, well-liked and eager to please me. Independent wealth is preferred. I am not willing to be some aging guy's 'nurse and a purse...." Ideas?

And yet you are hoping some independently wealthy man will be excited about being your bank account? Oh dear. You really had me until that sentence, because I simply cannot think of a way to say, "Please be rich" in a personal ad, and not have you come across as bonkers. (What are you bringing to the table? Are you independently wealthy?)

Have you seen the Ask a Slave episodes yet? Go quickly, there's still less than a million views so it's still new!

Mind-meld. I just watched this episode this morning, and was planning to send an email to the creator.

(1) I just wanted you to know that every time I read/participate in this chat, I think of a phrase in Chinese that roughly translates to "nobody here but us kittens." In my head, all of us are drinking tea while loudly debating pop culture. (2) Speaking of which, I am always impressed by how fluently you speak Pop Culture. I've really enjoyed your (and the chatters') suggestions about books, movies, TV and websites of every genre. I know part of it is for your articles, the In/Out List, and other aspects of your job, but I'm really curious: How do you manage to actually watch and read everything while also writing entire books?

You are very sweet, to find such a pleasant way to ask, essentially, "How did you become such a nerd?"

 

I am on my laptop virtually all hours of the day. There it is. The price of being relentlessly plugged in to pop culture is that you must be relentlessly plugged in. Sometimes I invite friends out to coffee shops with WiFi so we can be plugged in together.

She should totally keep the "eager to please me" part. That seems like a such a lovely way to view a new relationship.

Well, I'll give her/him a pass on that. I mean, in an ideal relationship, both parties should be eager to please each other.

I wish I had seen this YouTube video before school actually started.

This one? Are there more than one version?

A mashup very close to the one we discussed last week.

I only watched the first seven seconds, to make sure that the link worked. I think that might be all you need.

Yes. And it's "IS there more than one version."

Darlings. You really cannot correct my grammar in these chats. It would be like chastising a chef for a fallen souffle, if you asked him to bake it while also running a 100 meter dash. I am typing as fast as I can. Mistakes will be made. We shan't speak of them.

Clean hands and a healthy appetite! It was enough for Mother.

Hahahaha

How did you know that this was a day in which I could desperately use a tiara?

What a missed opportunity for Jacobina and Nicholas Manners. (Not that you, Cupcake, are not analytical and incisive.) This poster might be the same person revisited in a recent Hax column where she enumerated her talents and insisted that her husband "owed" her for marrying him. Maybe he came to his senses and she's looking for someone new.

Would that we could all land attractive, wealthy, intelligent, funny, tall, kind partners simply by the virtue of an excellently-worded personal ad.

One of the reasons I love you. But then, you knew I was thinking that, didn't you?

Naturally. But I didn't want to make anyone self conscious about it.

But now that we're on the subject of personal ads, I'm curious: What would be the single phrase that would make you most likely to respond to an ad on an dating site?

I will give the OP the benefit of the doubt that s/he isn't a gold-digger, but instead seeks someone who is financially stable. Unless the OP is, indeed, a gold-digger, then s/he should just say "seeking Sugar Daddy".

Okay. In that case I would have thought the wording might be "financially stable" rather than "independently wealthy," but the phrases might have different meanings for different people. In this case, it might have meant, "Please have your own job, and pay your own rent."

I love reading 19th-c. literature and Alex Petri's columns.

Excellent specifity. I like this.

Since I speak a second language, it would be the person volunteering in the ad that he speaks that same language (as well as English).

Or maybe, "I have always wanted to learn language X?"

I won't. Or, maybe, what I should say is that this person is an emotional gold-digger, specifying Prince/ss Charming who must be interested in pleasing him/her. As Cupcake said, what does the OP bring to the table?

"Emotional gold-digger" is a phrase I haven't heard before. Is it like "emotional vampire?"

No! No! No! Maybe it's just because I'm middle-aged, but I don't want to have to train someone.

I was just trying to open up the door a little, so that the poster didn't have to shut out the vast majorities of the population who did not already speak said language.

 

And that brings us to the end of our mini-chat. Next week we'll be back, and super-sized. Or at least regular-sized. Take care and GSTQ.

In This Chat
Monica Hesse
Monica Hesse is a staff writer for the Post Style section. She frequently writes about culture, the Web and the intersection of the two.

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