Discussions / Live Q&A’s

I need to tell you something very unfortunate. You have just asked assistance on how to stop wasting time on the Internet from a chat dedicated to wasting time on the Internet.

However. I will help you anyway. You must read in bed. You must leave your cell phone and laptop in the other room. You must make the lights a warm, dim color that translates as "snuggle." You must have a snack nearby. These are optimal reading conditions.

Correct. I moved this chat back to last week, so we've already done it once. Can anyone remember how it turned out?

Maybe we should all offer some tips about how to behave, or not, on Valentines Day online.

I don't want anyone posting about the flowers the "best husband ever" sent, unless the flowers are dandelions. Then I would be amused.

Yes, this was the most common pro-Thursday argument: Wednesday is just too good already.

I don't have time to get through this video, but I will take your word for the fact that it is heartwarming, and post it here for all to see.

I ate three Farrar Rocher chocolates that were on the giveaway table. But after the chat I will eat soup.

Well, he was the unofficial spokesman.

I know. It will be confusing at first.

This would be a totally reasonable assumption! I mean, one made by a seriously ill-informed person, but you could at least understand how they got there.

I was a disturbingly old age before I learned out to tell time on a clock with a dial. I thought the minute hand was random, and it was a game to figure out where it landed.

Topic! Who else can share some piece of basic knowledge that they did not acquire until later in life?

Noooooo. These companies are collecting all of your information so they can spam you to death when the Revolution comes. I don't trust it.

You are a Superchatter. Have we given you a cape yet?

This chatter is referring to my piece in today's Post about the decision to make all DC taxi's a uniform color scheme.

Also, do you follow me on Twitter, or do we all just share the same brain? Because I made that exact same observation this morning.

No no no. I understand that the "cabs are always yellow" misconception. But it is just that -- a misconception. Cabs are only always yellow in New York. If you think they are yellow everywhere, it's because you have seen yellow cabs in movies. And the cabs are yellow in movies because so many movies are filmed...in New York. It is a fallacy.

Noted.

Also noted.

Oh my word. Do we also share the same brain? Because I ALSO compared the winning Westminster dog to an Ewok in my Twitter feed this morning.

I'm really getting worried that we've been spending too much time together, guys.

You know, there are probably some things worth dying for. As a vegetarian, I wouldn't put steak on that list. But other food items? Sure, why not.

I have no idea what this post means, but I'm so excited to pass it on to someone who might find it useful. (We should all read this book, I guess?)

Excellent.

No no, Dear Prudence is just as good if you read it three or four days late. Whereas if I go back and try to read this chat after it's over, it makes no sense at all. The nonsensicalness of this chat is my largest proof that bodysnatchers exist, because sometimes I think they snatch my body in the middle of the chat and take over.

Aaahahahaha.

Bonus points for yours being DC centric.

Basically, we're all going to buy those creepy Google goggles so we can be attached at all times.

If someone would like to win free vacation on my behalf, I'm totally down with that.

When you learned the truth, did you think the Beatles were cooler or more lame than you previously had?

Yes. But other colors would also work: Neon orange, electric blue, lime green.

Aww, at least the guy had a good sense of humor about it.

I felt for him. Here he is, giving his speech, and you just know that suddenly he needed a drink of water. And once that thought crosses your mind, there is no going back. It  must be heeded.

Truly, I felt we should just go completely all out and have bedazzled, glittery faces of the presidents on all of our taxis. I'd like to hail a Chester Arthur.

"You are all powerful independent people, whether or not you are in a relationship."

This is...fecetious, right? Because the song has nothing to do with the taxi color.

I did not know this. I did not know that BOLO meant "Be on the lookout." Is this actually common knowledge?

Now the question is whether they actually do something smart with it, or whether they just have a guy drinking for an interminably long time.

The first one. Me, too.

Really? I don't think so. Plenty of cars are red, and we don't confuse the red cars with the red fire trucks. Mostly because they're not barrelling down the road, emitting a wailing siren, with a giant ladder on the top and men wearing flame-proof suits.

Genius.

I am really bummed I didn't think to suggest this to the commission when working on the story. Aside from the fact that it's completely impractical, you're absolutely right. We would all clamor to ride in every single one of the presidents. And/or first ladies. (THE BETTY FORD).

I think that's a YOLO.

Well, this is just adorable.

This is what I was thinking. Unless it's something used a lot on cop shows, as an abbreviation.

If you were writing in from Chicago, you would be confessing that you were in your 20s before you realized that the lyrics to Take Me Out to the Ball Game did not go, "Root, root, root for the Cubbies."

APB, I know.

Thank you.

I think I know what you're talking about. This is a weird story.

When I was in high school, I was pretty tiny (I'm still pretty tiny, but I was really Olive Oyl tiny), and as part of a creative writing prompt, I wrote moderately funny essay about it (But it's not funny, it's really bad).

After I graduated, somehow this essay was placed on the Internet. Where people began to find it. And use it as an audition monologue for shows. I don't know how this happened, or who put it up there, because it definitely was not me. But every few months I'll get an email from someone in Australia or Oklahoma asking where they can get a copy of the play that the monologue came from. They can't. Because it doesn't exist. It's just a stupid creative writing exercise written by a teenager more than a decade ago.

They just thought you were prending to be a pirate.

What a fabulous find!

I cannot tell you how horrifying I find this. God bless this child -- God give this child a winning lottery ticket and a gorgeous prom date and a new car -- for putting up with this completely mortifying exercise.

Hahaha

It saves you threeee syllables.

Yes, I fear shows that are that good and that action packed in the beginning. They always seem to fizzle by mid-season.