Live Q&As

You are so right to be concerned about giving your children everything. Money is a precious tool and resource and one children need to learn to both value and learn to create and earn. If we give our kids everything we can dis-able them, create entitlement issues and cause them to develop money patterns that may not serve them later on in life. Create a spending plan with your kids, give them an age appropriate allowance and let them learn to earn or create more through their own efforts. They will thank you for it someday.

It's complicated but in many ways you are right. The biggest problem everybody says theire project or department or program is so strapped they can't cut. I see it wheh I sit down with individuals all the time. They swear they can't cut and then I find cuts.

It sounds like your boyfriend is possibly being triggered due to feelings of frustration and shame about his circumstances. It is not uncommon for people to react irrationally where money is concerned. Some of this reactivity may also be related to unconscious patterns that pre-date your relationship. Try asking him what he needs from you and how you can support him...not rescue him or feel you have to fix it for him. Also, see if he'd do the exercises in The Heart of Money with you. That would be a great start!

I love Deborah's answer and she's right. But my dear please, please pay attention to these signs. Of course I wouldn't have recommended you live together but that's another story. I'm not sure what the end game is for your relationship but I'm concerned that you are covering things he should be covering. And then he won't talk about it. If he continues to shut down, maybe you need to consider where you want this relationship to go. You are not his mommy or his wife and it's not your responsibility to take care of him especially if he won't be an adult and figure out how to help himself.

Hoard the cash. You need funds for your living expenses. I know the debt weighs heavy on you but just make the minimum payments for now until you are in a better position financially. Who knows how long your husband will be laid off.

You are clearly a wise woman! It sounds like he is beginning to truly recognize this. Perhaps you can ask him how it feels to know he'll be taken care of and possibly think of how he can do the same for you?  It's a two-way street.

Just text chat for now. But stay tuned working with social media staff here at the Post to try and do more video, which of course means audio. It's something I would like to do because I can talk faster than I type.

It's interesting. I get this question al lthe time. Why save. I could die. Other people do bad and get help so why should I do good.

The thing is, planning and doing all the right things do pay off. The truth is the politicians and the markets can't undo "everything" you've done. If you lose your job because of say the sequestration, you are far better off having savings than someone who didn't save when they could. If you don't have any debt because you've planned, you can weather that storm that much longer. Doing well and good is in fact a great reward.

Trust me the other side of not doing it is not great in good times or bad.

Thank you! The Money Coaching Institute offers training in this area as well as live and online workshops which you can find out about on our website at www.moneycoachinginstitute.com. Or give us a call!.

Unfortunately non-profit organization leaders are often conflicted themselves about money. Non-profit does not have to mean "unprofitable" but many people have deep-seated money issues that influence their ability to allow them to recieve greater prosperity. Discussing this with them can be helpful.

I like some things about both Bach and Ramsey. But I fall more in the Ramsey camp as to how to pay off debt. Start with the debt with the lowest balance is the method I typically advise people to take.

And for some the debt management plans work because they don't have the discipline to do it themselves. If you have that discipline, you can do it yourself, which it sounds like you do.

So come up with a plan that works for you -- Back or Ramsey -- and go to it.

Without knowing the details of your life (age, income etc) that's hard to answer but I'd say, if you have everything you need already, invest it wisely and/or have a family money meeting to see if there are any unmet needs or dreams unfulfilled that this money might allow you to experience.

Amen. So many people would want to be in your shoes.

Just be sure to be grateful.

Wow. So no compassion for the many who have house notes, car notes, college tuition, food to buy or elderly parents they may be taking care of.

And the fact is this could impact many more people. If the large gov't workforce in the metro area and across the country (think military bases) stop spending because they don't have money that impacts other businesses.

But let's say it doesn't affect you. It's not true that the federal workers are all sitting on their lazy butts, piling up days. They work and they work for us. If they aren't working, they aren't working for us.

Click the link and at the bottom of my column I provide some tips to help weather the coming storm.

Sadly, many families are expereincing these kinds of financial stressors today. Your husband sounds like he could use some support. He most likely feels badly about his circumstances and instead of facing them (he may not know what to do) he has become triggered and is acting out throught spending. Undoubtedly, this is causing you to react in turn by becoming hypervigilant in managing your money...which is a vicious cycle as it may make your husband feel worse or controlled. Try to get on the same page, don't blame each other, sit down and focus on solutions.

It's true...when people feel judged, it makes them feel either angry or ashamed. Speak from your heart, be compassionate and work together to find healthy solutions one steop at a time.

Ask the organization to provide you with some training on fundraising. It doesn't come easy to a lot of people. Believe it or not, I don't like it but I have done it for causes I believe in. Perhaps what stands in your way is that people will say no.

Again, there are skills to asking for donations, so ask for help.

My book the Heart of Money has an entire chapter on this.The most important thing is to not over reveal financial details that can frighten your children. Help them to feel safe, learn to talk about money, communicate their needs and empower them to learn and earn!

That's the way to do it!

I do like that approach too.

It is if you can afford it. Just make sure you talk about how to handl the money instead of just doling it out. Talk about taxes, giving, saving and delayed gratification. Make it a teaching moment and not just a handout.

Where is that guilt coming from? Sometimes are feelings and behaviors are merely symptoms of other isses we need to resolve. Time to look within. You deserve to recieve...why can't you?

Lol.

They couldn't handle the truth!

If all that you can give is your time that's a very valuable thing.

The thing is if you are the path of the sequestration or you might be losing your job because of other factors, you need to save cash to pay for the basis things you need -- housing, food, etc.

Once you are back working again or not getting a major part of your salary cut then you can go back to aggressively paying off your debt.