Live Q&As

I love that. An "oh crap fund." Got to remember that. 

I would say use all of the refund to attack the credit card debt but ONLY if your husband's steady part-time income is steady. I would only worry about him losing that and then you needing the cash. But if you are managing your regular household expenses on the income coming it, make a major dent in the debt. Now, if you husband is still nervous, you can take say $1,000 and dump it into the oh crap found and then use the use to pay down the credit card debt.

And  absolutely you should use the money you were paying the car payments to further pay down the debt.

Oh and one final thought. You said you ahve stop using the cards "to the best of our ability."

Don't use the cards at all! Tough it out without using the cards even if you meant you use them and pay off the debt beofre the next billing cycle. I say that because you may still be spending more than you can afford with cash.

Good luck. You can do this. I know $35,000 is a lot, but I've seen and helped people get rid of much more. One of the women in my program paid off about $85,000 in credit card debt in under 2 years. Now she was single and moved back home but nonetheless she did it cutting back to the bare bones.

Stay focused and determined to get that monkey off your back.

May I offer an alternative to your plan?

Why not put all that money in a college savings account such as a 529 plan. Unless you think you need the cash for his care and in that case you should just put the funds in your savings account, start saving now for his college education. Trust me, you will need a lot of dough. My daughter is off to college in the fall and we saved well but it's going to be tight. We won't need to borrow but I'm so glad we started saving when she was little because despite her having great grades the competition for scholarship money is tough and so far she hasn't gotten anything. 

So go to this website, www.savingforcollege.com and check out the information for 529 plans. 

I don't have a specific book for teenagers but many of the books for young adults will do. But really, you are the best teacher. If you grasp the budget thing just pass it on to the teenagers. Contrary to popular belief parents and influential adults in the lives of kids are their best source of information. They watch and do what you do. And just FYI for those who don't know Prosperity Partners is a volunteer financial mentorship program I direct at my church. Taking the class and doing all the homework will give you the tools to teach your son. (And later in the year, I'll be doing a kids and money session, so please bring him).

President Obama said he advocates raising the minimum wage from the current $7.25 to $9.

I hear you and your agrument is one that is often used by businesses that don't want to pay more. But look at the rest of your question/comment. You ended up making minimum wage and the capitalism world didn't end. So if you could make more than minimum wage and still afford to eat, sleep and drink yourself, why not provide a living wage to all. Further you said others were too. So paying people more can and does work. And yes, there are many, many people making just the minimum wage and they are barely living.

Read this very interesting piece by Time magazine.

http://business.time.com/2013/02/14/obamas-proposal-to-boost-the-minimum-wage-will-it-help-or-hurt-workers/?iid=tsmodule

In it Christopher Matthews writes: For years the conventional wisdom among many economists was that higher minimum wages actually reduced employment — for the simple reason that if you make something like labor more expensive, firms will purchase less of it.

But research in the 1990s, specifically a study authored by economists David Carr and Alan Kreuger, seemed to prove otherwise, or at least to poke holes in this theory. Carr and Kreuger studied the effect of an increase in the minimum wage in New Jersey from $4.25 to $5.05 per hour in 1992. They surveyed 410 fast food restaurants in New Jersey and nearby counties in neighboring Pennsylvania, which saw no increase in the minimum wage. Their study found that New Jersey’s minimum wage hike didn’t negatively affect employment — in fact, they found, employment Since this 1992 paper, several other studies using similar methodologies have come to similar conclusions."

Further Matthews says a look at the data by the Center for American Progress found: "Policies that increase the compensation of low-wage workers significantly reduce turnover, boost worker effort, encourage employers to invest in training for their workers, and can increase demand for goods and services—all of which help balance out any potential negative effects.”

You make some great points. And I agree with you. But I'm concerned right now about the many companies who are trying to figure things out and are already cutting or about to cut people. I have a family member in that boat. She was laid off because of all this budget mess. It's so tough for her (she was a  budget analyst). So this budget thing is personal for me.

And yet, we have to do something. 

First, I say be your frugal self from the start. There is nothing and I mean nothing shameful about minding your money. And best to know from the start if the other persson thinks it's cheap to be frugal. I say use your coupon tomorrow if you want to. Why wait to save.

Now, if you don't want to broadcast your coupons, take the waiter to the side and give it to him or her away from your date. As long as you tip based on the value of both meals, I'm sure he or she will keep your secret. 

I hear you. I read the frustration and anger in your note. But in a twisted way, your sister is right. Your parents didn't do anybody a favor by not letting her grow up. They did in fact enabler her to remain irresponsible. 

Now that is not to say that she's right to not own up to her irrresponsible ways. It just explains why she does what she does. But grown folks can change. She choose not to. And guess what? She will pay in the end. Sounds like she will lose the house. That's paying for being irresponsible.

But you have a choice. You can hold on to that resentment or let it go. You are doing better and isn't that reward enough? Your sister didn't ruin the relationship between you and your parents. You did. You allowed the way they treated the sister to fill you up with anger. Maybe they weren't being fair enough. But it was their money and their house to do with what they wanted even if it wasn't good.

So let it go. You can love on your sister without approving of how she handles her money. And frankly, I agree with you that you shouldn't bail her out.

But let it go. Because keeping this resentment going is only hurting you.

Of course tithing is a very personal thing. But if you really want to commit to it because of your faith, you have to have faith. You also may have to do a lot of things differently financially. You may have to cut expenses greatly. Even more than you think you have already. Add up all the things you could cut -- cable, a reduced smartphone plan, eating out, entertainment, etc. and it may come close to the 10 percent tithe. But if it doesn't, maybe you could get a roommate or even move to a less expensive apartment or house. 

My point is, put tithing first, then see how the rest of your finances work out. If they don't, do what you can to make it add up. Certainly I would never advise you to skip paying your bills in favor or tithing (that wouldn't be right) but I've seen people with tight, tight budgets (such as a single low-income mother) commit to tithing and then cut like mad. She made it work. She's also seen amazing financial blessings that she attributed to her being faithful. Of course you don't tithe expecting to get something back. But faith has an amazing way to reward the faithful.

I would try to bring in a mediator, such as a financial planner or money coach. Try approaching the subject from the angle that you want to be sure you are making the best of your money.

Or see if your spouse will sign up for a financial class. I know this is hard. I run up against this all the time with spouses. But you are doing the right thing to force the issue and in the right spirit. 

If you spouse still won't seek help, you take a class or go to the planner and pass along the information in a calm, sweet way.

In my program at church many spouses come at first by themselves. But then later after they've made some changes or just kept talking about what they were learning, their spouses wanted to hear for themselves. Then they signed up to come. 

Doesn't always work but worth a try.

Yes, of course, good tip.

But really there isn't a need for another account and far too few people save for their kid's college expenses early enough.

Well Happy Valentine's Day to you too. 

And good sweet points.

Buy. 

Don't lease. What will you do when the lease is up?

You paid all that money and still got to get another car.

Also are you sure you can't get what you need in a less expensive used car? Push button technology has been out there for awhile, right?

I would pay cash.

I wish I had more time to address in full your question but in short, if I were you I would really look at what a degree could bring you in a bigger salary. Would it really now? Have you really investigated? And if the answer is yes, your spending on you utlimately will help the kids. It's not being selfish.

And if you can't save for both, just know your kids may have to do college differently. Go in-state. Community college first. Live at home. All solutions that are just fine.

Thank you.

Go to www.bankrate.com and search for "How long to keep financial records." It's a great feature on when to toss documents.

One word - collateral.

As the definition goes it's property such as a car or some other asset that the lender can use to secure a loan. Don't pay and they can at least get some of their money back. They typically won't repossess your actual roof if you use the loan money for that.

You do have to pay for your credit score or sign up for a service to get a free score or scores.

Write to Congress. They should make scores free once a year just as they do credit reports.

Sometimes the best thing you can do it let people fall hard before they will start to pick themselves up.

You shouldn't feel guilty if you've been helping. But you shouldn't continue to help if your aid is enabling the relative to be irresponsible.

Let go. Let go of the crying and stress.

He or she may fall, probably will fall, but perhaps that's what's needed and you are standing in the way of that revelation.