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Almost every child has a favorite parent, depending upon the age of the child, and what her interests are, but these preferences change from time to time.  Instead of taking your daughter's delight as a rejection of you, feel blessed that your husband is willing to take the time to play with the children.  They will still enjoy your company and as they get older they will confide in you and seek you out when they have problems.  Every parent has particular strengths and children instinctively know what they are and goes to whichever parent can fill that need the best.  At this age, they want to play.  At other ages they will want to learn how to cook or garden and they'll go to you.  But never forget, your children love both of you equally and completely, just as you love them.

You'll know when it's time to move the railing when he starts climbing over it.  Until then, I'd leave it in place if only as a reminder that he's supposed to stay in bed rather than get out and prowl around the house.

Young children are a lot like puppies.  They tease each other, they chase each other and sometimes they fight with each other, which can be quite bothersome. 

There are, however, some rules that you should insist upon:  No hitting.  No biting.  No mean words.  And never, ever say, "You can't play with me" or "with my toy or my friend".  A family is a child's first lesson in cooperative living and they need to learn the rules early so they will live by them later.  But when they break one of these rules--and they certainly will--insist that they give each other a hug and say that they're sorry because children have to learn to apologize too.

What great advice you've given us today, particularly for a child with sensory processing disorder.   A couple of additional ideas:  Boden clothes, new or used, are particularly comfortable for children who are sensitive to tags and seams and so are leg warmers, rather than tights, but don't ever put a scented sheet of Bounce in the dryer because it can make children jumpy and even hyperactive.

Although some children do have SPD and want to wear te kind of clothes you recommend, remember that there are those children who think of themselves as fashion divas.  I even knew a little boy who decided, in second grade, that he would only wear jeans to school--green jeans.  That fashion fad lasted a whole year.

Producer Mari-Jane here. I'm sorry, our system had a hiccup. I have resubmitted that question for Marguerite.

Don't ask them what they want for Christmas--they'll tell you anyway--but do ask them what they're going to give.  Will they write a poem for Uncle Mike or will they bake some cookies for him instead?  Will they go to Salvation Army to find a frame for the pictures they drew for their daddy or should he pick out his own frames?  You want your children to come away from this holiday feeling good about themselves and generous about themselves too.  And they will if you and their dad write thank you notes to them for their presents, just as they should write thank you notes to everyone--except Santa--who gave presents to them.  And if they won't?  Let it be known before Christmas that they can play with the presents they get from family and friends for the first two days after Christmas and then they have to write all their notes (or draw pictures instead) before they can play with them again and before they can spend any money they 've received for Christmas.  It's amazing how fast these letters get written and how much it means to the people who get them. 

Obviously, those doctors in the AMA never had to fix dinner, feed the cat, answer the phone and deal with a squalling child at the same time, or they'd know that sometimes it's better to give young children a little screen time if their moms need a little peace.   It's one of life's little trade-offs but  don't tell the AMA.

I've just written a column about a first grader who sounded like she had ADD, but when I began my research I learned that the symptoms for ADD and for eye function problems are pretty much the same and many doctors now want children tested for eye problems before they're tested for ADD.  This isn't done by ophthalmologists however, who assess a child's ability to see, but by developmental or behavioral optometrists who test the way a child's eyes function, even taking 3-D pictures of their eyeballs to make sure that the muscles on the back of the eye are at the same age level as the muscles on the front of the eye.  If they're not, the child won't see well and he may see in a blur and even get headachy or queasy when he tries to read.

Therefore, if your daughter was my child I'd have one of these optometrists do eye function tests on her, if only to rule out that possibility.  If she has problems, she'll either need glasses or eye exercises to retrain her eyesight but if she doesn't, then ask your county's school administration to have her tested for ADD.  And read Driven to Distraction too.  It's a great book.

If your son has a speech problem, please consider speech therapy ASAP.  The sooner this problem is addressed, the better he'll behave.

You also should talk to him when he's happy and say the same word to him over and over again with your faces about 6-8 inches apart.  He needs to see how your mouth moves when you make a certain sound and where you put your tongue.

Your little boy is probably so frustrated because he can't tell you why he's unhappy, but additives and preservatives could be making his problems worse and being overtired at night could be making him too revved at bedtime.  But when he falls apart, skip the time-outs, which only work if they're given every week or two, and give him some loving instead, which is how parents take care of tantrums in Scandinaviaq.  That's what you'd want and need if you were sobbing, not a time-out chair.

If counselling worked for you, couldn't it work for your children too?  Wouldn't it teach them to set boundaries with him--and with anyone in their future who treated them this way?  It seems to me that he would begin to learn that he can't treat his girls this way if they simply walked out of the room the minute he called them a bad name, and it would be infinitely easier than getting a divorce.  The problem with divorce is this:  when you have children, you are basically still married because you will be seeing each other at graduations, weddings, emergency rooms and funerals for the rest of your lives, and it will hurt all of you every blessed time.  Your husand has to learn to behave, but there are better ways to teach him than to get a divorce.

If camomile tea doesn't work, you might try the solution that a psychiatrist once told me.  He said that his children never had sleep problems because he let them take a few books to bed and told them they could read until they got sleepy. 

Personally, I think I'd just give my little girl a kiss and let her be while she learned to put herself to sleep.  The less you engage, the less she's going to struggle.

Children always have a reason for everything they do--or don't do--but they may not know what it is or they may not want to tell their parents.  Try asking your son if he knows why he didn't want to go to the bus or to meet someone, but ask him at night, after he's gone to bed and the room is dark, because children are much more likely to confide if they don't have to make eye contact.  You may find out that there is a child on the bus who teases him or an adult who's overly friendly.  Children instinctively know that something is wrong with someone's behavior so they hide because they don't know what to do about it or even think about it.

Why not give him a copy of "Your One-Year-Old"?  I'ts part of a year-by-year series of books based on 80 years of research by the Gesell Institute and it's probablya favorite source of information for every good parenting writer.  Each book describes the child at that age--as he is, what he can do and how he is developing--but these books always are positive and remind you that every child is a miracle.

Would it be possible to switch to another teacher next semester?  And could you get him tested?  Richard Layton, a Towson, Md., allergist, is great with children on the autism spectrum--children go to him from all over the country since so many ASD children are allergic.  I'd also recommend taking him for blood chemistry tests given by the Mensah Clinic, which comes to Maryland from Illinois a couple of times a year.  As I recall, they give 80-150 blood and urine tests for under $700 I think, and their track record is very good both with ASD kids and with anxiety too.  Also, I'd consider doing  meditation with him and yoga as well and I'd also think about acupuncture, since it relieves mental stress before it sarts helping the body.

Your son is undoubtedly repeating what you, or someone, says to him when he's not being all that nice.  Childhood, you see, is just one long lesson when children learn how to act so they can be as nice as their parents.  Next year, he'll have found out that his "Be Nice!" lectures don't work all that well, and he'll be saying something else.

What a splendid reply!

First I'd have your internist give him a full medical workup including a check for drugs, since marijuana can make people lassitudinal and lose interest in their work and often change their friends and their interests.  If he's clear I'd then tell him that the three of you will have to go to family therapy because if one person in the family has a problem, the whole fmaily has one.