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I have three daughters (nearly 13, nearly 6 and 33 months old). My toddler has always been a very sweet, gentle, though mischievous child. Generally quieter than her two big sisters (especially the middle one, who is drama incarnate). She also has always been great about going to bed. We would do our routine (pjs, teeth brushing, book, prayers) and then she would climb into bed, kiss me, and roll over to sleep). About two weeks ago that changed suddenly. She now will NOT go to bed. She's playful and silly, but that quickly turns to hysteria. She will NOT stay in bed. I have done the repeated putting her back quietly -- for HOURS! I I have been through this before, but not like this. I have tried all of the things I know I'm supposed to do, but nothing works. The only way to get her to sleep is to stay with her. Sometimes I have to hold her in bed (gently, but firmly). She doesn't seem to be scared of the dark (she will ask that extra lights in the hall be turned off), but she seems terrified to be alone. But staying with her until she falls asleep can take a while, and I'm at my wits' end! With three active children, I need a little bit of time just to get the dishes done! Do you have any suggestions or advice on how to deal with this issue, which is disrupting the entire household?

Dear Ms. Kelly, I think I've done a pretty good job of teaching my daughters, ages 8, 6 and 5, not to comment on others' personal appearance, etc. However, there are so many "challenged" children who speak or act inappropriately. When I try to explain that they can't help it, not surprisingly, I am get somewhat dubious responses. One such child has been mainstreamed in my daughter's class, where he has been quite disruptive (as unkind as this sounds, I am hoping this will have changed when she enters third grade in a couple weeks). How can I help her be sympathetic when she just wants to get her work done?

I am the manager of a child-friendly restaurant where a certain level of noise (high) and even pandemonium is expected, or even encouraged. Every few days, however, a child has a major meltdown, screaming, knocking things off the table, going beyond even our very tolerant guidelines. Do you have any suggestions as to how we can minimize the possibility of such meltdowns, or deal w/those that do occur? The worst is when the parent pretends he or she has no relationship with the child!

How do I learn to interact with my aging parent? I am in the position of not a caretaker, as that isn't necessary, but am the sounding board, the person who hears the complaints and rants, who feels like s/he should slow some of the parent's diatribes when I see them. When is it appropriate to basically become the one who takes the parent in hand and pulls them away from embarassing themselves? I feel like I am 'raising' my parent now that the partner who did that is gone... The parent is really okay mentally, but does go one too much sometimes.

Not a direct parenting questions, but I hope you and the chatters can offer some insights. I'm pregnant, and will have to tell work in about a month. I am also preparing to ask for a raise. The two are unrelated -- I've taken on new responsibilities and done them well. I think I have a good shot at getting the raise. Is it bad form to tell work I'm pregnant once I have the raise in hand? I don't want to tell work about the baby first because I worry that could lessen my odds of getting a raise. On the other hand, my boss has two kids and knows that motherhood doesn't equal checking out, so maybe she wouldn't penalize me. Does anyone have experience with this?

I have a 2 1/2-year-old boy who is doing well in all respects and we're having a lot of fun with him. Our current challenge, however, is mealtime. He is simply not interested in sitting down and eating, even for five minutes. He doesn't seem to object to any particular food -- he eats most everything (including spicy food -- loves green chile, for example). It's gotten so that in order to get any food in him, I put him on my lap, read him a book, and pop bites of food in him. Am I developing a bad habit here? It feels like I am. Any thoughts or advice?

Our elementary school-age children will be attending a new school this year. What can we do to help them adjust and calm their anxiety?

just figured out what extinct actually means during a trip to the Musuem of Natural History and all her dreams of having a dinosaur as a pet have been crushed. She is pretty upset. Any suggestions?

My husband and I love to travel, both short weekend trips and longer vacations, but traveling with our kids usually leads to so much frustration on both sides. Our 3 1/2-year-old daughter is very excited about traveling, but this excitement translates to incessant whining once we're on a trip, usually over food but sometimes over what we're doing or the attention she's receiving. Almost every meal she will whine about how she doesn't like this food (it's food that she normally enjoys), and this seems to be done with an eye toward a particular treat food that we have once in a while at home and more often on vacation. I think she may have trouble looking forward too much to certain events, since the whining was never more awful than when we went to visit relatives in California, with plans to go to Disneyland after the visit; it did abate after we had finished with the Disney portion of the trip. We do try to make sure she keeps her nap schedule and gets enough sleep on vacation, and also try to see that she gets enough fruits and vegetables, although finding veggies can be difficult on the road. The whining still happens when we take her places without her little brother and I get frustrated because what should be a fun experience is made so difficult. Is there anything we can do to make family vacations more pleasurable for everyone?

and I'm wondering if you can offer some suggestions for easing such a major transition for our 5-year-old daughter. We would be moving far away from family and friends, and from a house in a rural area to a smaller house or apartment in an urban area. Our girl is cautious and deeply attached to where we are, and I'm particularly concerned about her starting kindergarten in a place where the kids will have been in class together for a month or so before we arrive. I would be grateful for your advice!

Good morning. My 17-month-old son is constantly screaming in frustration and/or excitement. For some reason, he doesn't seem to have an "indoor voice." I sense that it may be frustration in trying to do all the things his older brother does. But I'm not sure how to address it. Put him in timeout each time? Live with it? Any advice would be great!

Hello, I have two adorable, wonderful, and, yes, energetic(!) boys, ages 4 and 6. I also work full-time and this summer my boys are in preschool and going to various camps and activities for the day. My husband travels often for work, including this week, and I have been getting them to and from their daily activities while also getting myself to and from work. And I have been finding that getting all three of us out the door on time (or close to it), well-fed, dressed, and happy has been quite the challenge. I was near tears this morning as I tried to tear them away from Curious George and into the car so we could leave. I let them know it's time to go (I give them a five-minute countdown) and well before we leave I am getting out breakfast, getting them dressed, making lunches for the day, etc. I find that by the time we need to leave, I have been reminding/asking/telling them to do things over and over and over with no success. They think I am bossy, they get mad at me, they don't listen, and I end up losing it. In my rational mind I know I need to tell them how things will be and let the consequences happen (i.e., if they don't come eat breakfast and then it's time to go, then they are hungry), but I am easily guilted and I fear I will make them feel even angrier than they already do when I tell them TV time (or playtime, or visiting the neighbor's dog time) is over. But these unhappy drives and their sadness and anger at me are breaking my heart. I know I need to do something differently, I'm just not sure what.

My husband and I working through a difficult time in our marriage but love each other and are committed to working things out together. We've done our best to minimize arguments; the kids are old enough to pick up on some of the tension. While things are improving, we have a long road in front of us. Is there a way to balance our needs of healing as a couple while still continuing to give the children the love and support they need?

Thank you for your advice! Yesterday after I submitted my question, we took our girls to the dentist and learned that the toddler has a cracked tooth! I'm now wondering if this has anything to do with the sleeping. We will talk to her (and her daycare again) to see if there was any incident that might have caused this, and will address the issue of any pain etc. Hopefully this will help with the sleeping problem as well!

My husband and I have a wonderful, delightful 16-month-old little girl. We both work full time and she has been in daycare since she was about 5 months old. We are both getting antsy to move abroad. It's been a dream for both of us. We are thinking of moving abroad (assuming we find a job for one of us) for two to three years and then coming back. Should we worry that we are taking her away from all of the "familiar" things in life? Of course, we will both be here.

I love it when my daughter's meal is brought to the table as soon as it is ready, even if the adult meals are not yet ready. This allows me to cut up her food and have it cool down a bit. She's never actually had a big meltdown in a restaurant, but she does get cranky when she's hungry. And she gets even crankier when her food arrives with everyone else's and she can't eat for another five minutes because it's too hot for her.

You might also try "Edwina, the Dinosaur Who Didn't Know She Was Extinct." Mo Willems is better-known for other books, but this one is fun and it ought to make her laugh.

I have sort of the opposite problem of Extinct. My just-entering kindergarten daughter is very analytical and scientifically oriented. She is extremely interested in biology, animals, birth, death and the human body. She recently had a cat die and wanted to save the bones and look at them under her microscope -- but we said no. When she's asked about where babies (human or animal) come from, we've stuck with the basics about the birds and the bees, without getting into the mechanics. Now, she's asking about mechanics. I have no problem telling her about sex, but I could also see her alarming her unassuming kindergarten friends with this newfound knowledge. I'm quite confident she'd take the information in stride, but I don't want her to be in the position of upsetting other children (or their parents). I also don't want to avoid her questions. Thanks for any advice!

Made me laugh. Reminds me of a friend of mine who accidentally stepped on his daughter's new kitten and killed it. The entire family was distraught. As he was trying to console his daughter, he said they could go get a new kitten tomorrow. She looked up at him and said, "how about a horse?" - which she got!

My not-quite-3-year-old is very close to his mom. However, sometimes when she is trying to get him to do things he hits her -- sometimes hard. Unfortunately, she has gotten very upset a few times, yelled at him, and nearly started to cry. My son is instantly horrified at what he has done and starts to cry himself. My son also hit me once or twice, but I made light of the situation and told him that I would tickle him back and that seems to have ended the problem for me. For my wife, though, I think it is too late to try this.

Our toddler daughter doesn't get to read a bedtime book if she doesn't eat a reasonable amount of dinner. Our problem was that she would spend a huge amount of time playing with the food instead of eating, and then was still hungry and wanting to eat when it was time to move on to the bath and bedtime routine. We used to sit at the dinner table for an hour trying to cajole her into eating. Now she eats when we sit down.

Kids raised in military families have been dealing with type of change for a long time now, and most of them are fine. As the product of a military family that moved every three years, I can tell you it gave me a love of discovering other cultures and helped me become a person who can easily adapt to change.

Tell them that if they can't behave when you tell them to turn the TV off, that next time, when they ask to watch TV, you will say no, since they don't know how to turn it off and listen. You may have to keep repeating it: if you behave this time, then next time you ask, I will probably say yes. A few mornings of them not doing what they want (i.e., watching TV) might actually be useful. Also see if they should be doing another activity in the AM.