I have a very smart, often defiant 3-year-old. She seems to know all the right buttons to push to drive me absolutely crazy at times. She is capable of following directions but does so only when she feels like it. She ignores us when she chooses, pretending she doesn't hear us. (Audiologist reports hearing is normal).
She wants to control things, like who drives the car and what route we take. Sometimes she gets so highly focused on certain tasks that we can't pull her away without a tantrum, and at others we can't get her to focus at all. She shows some signs reminiscent of OCD (organizing, collecting, grouping, etc.) and others of ADHD. I cannot take her to the grocery store, mall, etc., because she becomes overstimulated, won't stay in the cart or by my side.
We try to avoid dyes and preservatives, get good sleep, quality time with parents, free play time outside. Timeouts don't work; 1-2-3 doesn't work. Behavioral problems are only at home, where she has a 10-month-old brother. Teachers at preschool say she has no social problems, no problem following directions there.
She can become angry, even hysterical very quickly, and sometimes I see her getting angry at objects (like her shirt, if she can't get it on properly, or her arm, if it won't go in the armhole easily). I know that the "threes" can be difficult, but at what point does a behavior issue cross the line into a larger, psychological problem? Do you have any parenting strategies for us? Because the ones we've been using certainly aren't as efficient as they could be.
