Live Q&As

Our soon-to-be college student is unsure of where to attend now that the first choices were not as generous with financial aid. In-state is out of the question because it's too close to home, too big, too many friends attending. My husband and I are at the point of suggesting attending the in-state college for one year and then transferring since child is so unsure of where to go and changes his mind every day. Child, typically levelheaded and mature, is truly at a lost of  what to do.

My son and his wife bought a condo at the hight of the real-estate frenzy -- their mortgage is under water, and the condo is worth half of what they paid for it. They are negotiating a short sale but want out to start over. After discussions, we've all decided to renovate our large home to accommodate the three of them (baby is 9 mos old). How do we blend these three generations? And are other empty-nesters blending generations like this? BTW, they both have f/t jobs and will be paying rent to offset the expenses; I, of course, will help with the baby.

I'm in a relationship after a two-year break following my divorce. I'm anxious about what and when I should tell my 6-year-old. I'm not ready to introduce them yet, especially since my ex just got engaged. He does say he's sad that his dad and I aren't together, and that his dad doesn't see him a lot (his dad's choice, not mine). I'm taking everything extremely slowly and cautiously on my end, but it's getting to a natural progression that the two should meet.  I'm very anxious about it.

My 2.5-year-old up until a few weeks ago would sleep from 9 p.m. to 8 a.m. Now we are getting daily wake-ups at 6:30 a.m. and utter refusal to go back to bed. This started after we moved him from a toddler bed. We have purchased a "tot clock" that should arrive next week. What is a reasonable time to expect a toddler to stay in their bed/bedroom? Putting a gate at his door is not an option (there is one at the top of the stairs). Thanks!!

I have two daughters, 6 and 9, who do well at school, have good manners when reminded, help with chores without too much grumbling and get along with each other most of the time. However, they both complain frequently that they are bored. They would happily watch TV or play computer games for hours but I limit their screen time. When they are not engaged with a screen they mope about the house and start picking fights with me and their dad and with each other. When I suggest activities, they reject all of them with a "But that's boring!" How can I get them interested in something beyond screens and able to entertain themselves a little more indepedently? I don't want to sign them up for more classes, or let them have unlimited screen time, but they are driving me crazy with their complaints and requests for more computer and TV.

Hi. My 3-year-old recently began waking in the middle of the night and coming downstairs to my bed. He's been a through-the-night sleeper since very early and my husband and I are NOT excited about this new stage. He says that he's afraid of things (monsters or lights or ants or other things). How can we get him to stay in his room and reassure him that he's okay? Thanks.

Our son has ADD and has struggled with motivation and schoolwork, particularly long-term projects, since middle school. We have tried everything to help him. Therapy, medication, short-term rewards, staying out of it entirely, etc. Nothing seems to help. He is now a junior with a 2.23 GPA. He does not get into any trouble, really, with drugs, alcohol, girls, etc. (at least that we know of!) He admits that the work is hard for him, even though he scores highly on standardized tests, and he just tends to avoid it -- until it is too late to really do a solid job. How do we help him? Should we just accept that maybe he's a community college kid, at least for now, and hope his executive function skills improve as he matures? We're just at a loss for what to do.

My sister-in-law is about to have a baby. Money is tight for them. I have three teenagers and would really like them to help out (babysitting, walks, etc.) What are the best ways to help out a young family and how can I get my teenagers on board?

How do you decide which preschool/school for your child to attend? Our 1-year old child is in a great daycare, but that won't be a good solution for her at age 3 for a variety of reasons. We're starting to look at preschools for her but have no idea how to choose. $$ isn't really an issue for us but we want to make sure that we choose the right place. I also want to make sure I'm doing what's best for her and not what may be best for us. Any suggestions?

My middle child, who is 8, is starting to slack off on homework and enrichment education in the home. While he is a worker bee at school, he often wants to just play at home and frankly just relax. I realize that his day is very stressful but these days with the competition, we have to continually push our children to do more and better and then do even more and even better. How do we balance all this?

Son is engaged to a woman with 3-yr-old boy; fine, happy, and we are told they will marry next year. Son and fiance are expecting a baby this summer, and the question is ... what should the older child call us? No paternal grandparents, nor father in the picture; our other grandchildren call us grandma/grandpa. Currently, everyone says, "John's" mom and dad gave this present to you etc. Should he be calling us "Mary and Joe" or grandma/ grandpa once the new baby arrives?

My HS senior son, who has split his time 50/50 between my house and his dad's since our divorce 10 yrs ago, decided last month that when he turned 18 he no longer wanted to live with his dad (due to control issues going on in that household), and is now with me FT. Dad is angry and has refused all contact and support of child, but still maintains contact and sees his older son (who is in college). Older son was invited to spend Easter w/Dad's family, younger son not. I'm frustrated and angry at my ex at his lack of maturity, but am trying to figure out if I try to push them to reconnect with each other or just back off, butt out, and hope that one day they'll mend fences?

My husband and I are thinking about becoming foster parents (and perhaps even adopting down the road). We're really drawn to the older kids who are tough to place. We understand all the implications that come along with taking in an older child who has been bounced around they system. What worries me in particular is the age difference. We're in our early 30s -- do you think that a 14-year old would ever really see us as a parent? Or just an older sibling? Or at that age, does everyone over 18 seem "old" to them?

My daughter had ADD and is at a very high-pressure, "elite" Washington private high school. She's in 9th grade and is not doing any extracurriculars (she used to play sports and act in plays). She's just studying, and making only mediocre grades. We're worried about her growth, emotionally and in areas other than academic. We'd like to transfer her to a lower-pressure environment, but she is furious every time we bring it up -- she is very popular and has lots of friends at her current school. We're looking down the road, though, and don't like what we see. I'm really at a loss, although my gut tells me to just move her and she'll thank us later.

My son is getting read to graduate from high school. I have tried to encourage him to find a job but he is not looking at all even though I know there are opportunities out there. He is planning to go to community college. How can I motivate him to look for a job?