Live Q&As

Well, first, men aren't the only ones engaging in public sexual harassment, although they predominantly are. We have posted experiences were the harasser(s) identified as female. These actions of public sexual harassment, we think, come down to power and control. As the harasser, I can say what I want to you and control your smile, the way you walk, and the way you feel. At the same time, some men don't know that they are engaging in something that detrimentally affecting the harasee. We have heard from perpetrators. They often times say that they are just trying to be nice and give a girl a compliment. We follow it up with, "What happens if the girl doesn't receive the compliment well? Do you call her derrogatory names?" And, with laughter, they say no. Hmmm.

Great question. Public sexual harassment happens everywhere in the DC Metro area. We have a google map where you can see the incidents we get on the blog. However, take it with a grain of salt. Not everyone who is harassed posts on our blog. But, we know from the trainings and meetings we've had that this behaviour is happening everywhere. 

We get a lot of critism, especially from men who say some women like the attention or that this is just part of evolution and they way men pick up women. Yes, there may be some women who enjoy the attention. We've even heard from a few women who have said, they only feel beautiful if they get catcalls. When we hear this, we urge people to think about this in new terms.  Like, what is it about our culture that makes women feel like they beauty is something that needs to be validated by catcalls.

We also know that overall, street harassment is not a sucessful way to pick up women and RARELY works! Marty Langelan says it best in her book, Back Off:

On Page 39 she says:

"If harassment really is just a sexual “courtship” behavior, it is a spectacularly unsuccessful one. as a means of generating sexual interest on the recipient’s part, it is not only ineffective, but consistently counterproductive: women react with disgust, not desire, with fear, not fascination."

she goes on to say:

"there are infinite varieties of courtship behavior among human beings, mammals, and other animals, but none has a failure rate remotely approaching the failure of harassment as a sexual attractant."

The line is hard because it is individual dependent. That is why we created this blog because in each community the line of acceptable and unacceptable changes. In the youth community, the line is very different than from the lesbian community. We think you can compliment a woman on her way to work. There is a difference between saying "You're hot" with "I really think that outfit is nice." Don't expect anything back from the person. And, don't call the person who doesn't respond a derrogatory name. 

Sorry if this is going to sound repetitive, but you should do what you feel safest in that moment. Sometimes you will ignore. Sometimes you will address the harasser(s) in-person, sometimes you'll shout back with anger. It's all dependent on the situation. The main focus is on your safety.  

We hear this a lot. In 2009, a Holla Back site in Asheville came up with a great solution for dealing drivers who harass bikers. They created magnets that said something along the line of "you just harassed me".  They then stuck the magnets on cars whenever they were harassed.  We've thrown around developing similar methods here in DC. If you have any specific ideas, we'd love to hear from you!

Good point. A blog is definitely NOT the ONLY solution. What the blog does is allow folks to share their experiences/reactions of their harassment to the community and get validation, tips, etc. But, online activism is just that, online. 

We are working on trying to bring RightRides to DC, along with Safe Walk, a biking volunteer program, and others to create alternative ways to prevent and reduce harassment and assault. We are also doing trainings with youth groups, community organizations, etc. What are your ideas?

HarassMap is a great site! We didn't know about it when we started in 2009 with our Google map. Not sure how long it's been in existence, but we sought out social media tools to address street harassment in DC. We've received some creative ideas on how to expand the map and make it more useful for individuals.

To the second question--not sure. We hope that it does act as a deterrent. 

Even after we started HBDC! and begin giving trainings on how to respond to street harassment, I still didn't always feel comfortable respoding. Even today, I don't ALWAYS respond. The number one thing to remeber is to do what you feel most comfortable with. You never know when a situation will escalte so be aware of your own saftey and what's around you. That being said, here are some other techniques we teach:

a.     Name the behavior.  Describe exactly what the harasser is doing, stating behavior (“You are exposing yourself”), principle (“This is about respect”), and a direct command (“Put that penis back in your pants right now”).

b.     Interrupt the harasser with this all-purpose statement.  “Stop harassing. I don’t like it—no one likes it.  Show some respect.”

c.     Put up a “stop sign.”  Put your hands in front of your chest, palm out, look the harasser in the eye and say, “Stop right there.”

d.    Make an A-B-C statement.  When you do A, the effect is B, and I want C.  “When you say, ‘Hey sexy,’ it makes me uncomfortable.  From now on, just say, ‘hello.’”

Also, it's OK to pretend you didn't hear anything.

There's no such thing as the perfect response!

This is a tough question to answer on multiple levels. First things first--address your safety first. If you feel threatened, then get to a place where you physically feel safe. We did have a serial harasser who would spit and attempt to kick women in Dupont and Columbia Heights. The targets of his harassment took pictures of him, reported the incidents to us and Prince of Petworth blogs, and also called MPD.  

What have you done?

I grew up in Atlanta and experienced street harassment for as long as I can remember but I never put a name to it. When I moved to DC it became an everyday occurence. I decided to become an advocate at the DC Rape Crisis Center. It was there that I met Chai. Marty Langelan came to our class one night to talk to about street harassment. That was the first time I felt like I truly understood the problem, even though I had been working on sexual assault issues since college! Leaving the training, I knew I wanted to do something about street harassment in DC. Little did I know Chai felt the same way. Three months later, we met up at Teasim and the rest is history!

You're idea is brilliant. Glad that he understood.

This past Spring, over 40 volunteers canvassed most of DC to document the safety in our neighborhoods. Modeled after METRAC's community safety audit, we partnered with Holly Kearl of Stop Street Harassment to start collecting data. We asked residents and the auditors what would make our neighborhood safer. It's a larger project of addressing the safety needs of women and LGBTQ individuals in our nation's capital. We're hoping to do something similar to your idea in September. Sign up to volunteer through our volunteer form. 

There is no typical age! People of all ages can be the harasser and the victim. We recieve experiences from people of all ages who have been harassed. We also hear about people of all ages doing the harassing. I have been harassed by teens, young men, and older men. We see the same thing across the experiences we have received.

We would LOVE for WMATA to listen to our concerns of harassment AND assault that are taking place on the platforms and in the trains. We really don't want a tragedy to occur for them to take our concerns seriously. We are would love for residents and commuters to keep sending emails and comments to WMATA through their online portal (including Twitter). We are hoping to talk to CM Muriel Bowser about this issue, as she is now chairing the DC committee on public transportation. And, if you feel like you can, report incidents to the station manager, note the manger's name and badge, and send it along to us. The more experiences we have, the better place we will be in telling them that we, Holla Back DC!, aren't making up these stories.  

Thanks for sending us your experiences. We hope that it helps.

Volunteer for us and let us know what you're interested in doing. Promote the blog and the work. And, of course, you can always donate so we can make some of these programs come to life. 

Great question. This is one thing we are really trying to do more of in DC - teaching bystander intervention.  If we all took an active role as bystanders, street harassment would become less of a problem. Imagine the impact it would have on our community if everyone spoke up when they saw any form of street harassment happening.

First, if you do feel threated I would suggest yelling and drawing attention to the situation if there are others around or calling the police.  Here are just three of the methods that we teach:

a.     Speak up –  If someone says something offensive, derogatory or abusive, let them know that behavior is wrong and you don’t want to be around it.  Don’t laugh at racist, sexist or homophobic jokes.  Challenge your peers to be respectful.

b.     Distraction –  This snaps people out of their "sexist comfort zone."  It allows the target of harassment to escape.  For example, If a man is harassing women on the street, ask him for directions or the time.

c.     Intervene –  When someone else is being harassed, intervene and help him/her out of the situation, and let the harasser know that the action he or she is taking is not right.   

Some of the things that people submit as street harassment wouldn't be a criminal offense. That doesn't necessarily make it right. Street harassment is a subjective term, as well as an objective term. What Holla Back DC! does through the online portal is create a shifting definition based on the community standards. 

Yeah! Thanks!

We're not saying don't compliment people. Come on! That would be a not cool world. :)

Of course compliments are fine. But, regardless of your gender, don't make a compliment or statement as a give and take. For example, don't expect anything in return, like a phone number or a smile. And if you don't get that reaction, don't then think it's okay to call that person a derrogatory name, follow her, or continue to harasser her. If you are concerned, you can always preface a compliment, with "I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, but I really like your shoes. Where did you get them?"

We've received kudos from individual law enforcement agents and some government workers. As of right now, we don't receive any government funding. We hope to get more support from the city and the surrounding counties.

Defining harassment is tricky and we gave it a lot thought when we first started HBDC!

This what we came up with:

Street harassment is any sexual harassment that occurs in a public space when one or more individuals (man or woman) accost another individual, based on their preceived gender as they go about their daily life. This includes a whole spectrum of behaviors including leering, groping, assault.  

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