Tuesdays with Moron: Chatological Humor Update (July 9, 2013)

Jul 09, 2013

Every Tuesday, Gene publishes weekly updates to his chats.

- Submit your questions to Gene's NEXT monthly chat here. It is scheduled to take place on Tuesday, July 30 at noon. Please do not submit questions for this chat. Thank you.

- Want to find out what you're missing? Check out Gene's June live chat to get an idea of what's coming up.

On one Tuesday each month, Gene is online to take your questions and abuse. He will chat about anything. Although this chat is sometimes updated between live shows, it is not and never will be a "blog," even though many persons keep making that mistake. One reason for the confusion is the Underpants Paradox: Blogs, like underpants, contain "threads," whereas this chat contains no "threads" but, like underpants, does sometimes get funky and inexcusable.

Greetings, update readers.

First, I have been asked by The Post to alert you to my new Personality Page, which is here, and which apparently allows you to quickly access more or less anything and everything I've ever done for The Post, for better or for worse. The truth is, I have always feared something like this.

In Albany, New York, in the still-surviving morgue of the now-defunct Albany Knickerbocker News, for example, there will be yellowed clippings documenting my oeuvre for the years 1972-1976, when I was in my early 20s and churning out daily stories about city government that reflected an astonishingly callow worldview, and a suspect command of English.

I am convinced that one reason I have not reached, nor will I ever reach, the sort of fame achieved by, say, Saul Bellow, is that I have subconsciously sabotaged my own career so that I would never ever be the sort of person about whom biographies are written, meaning these old files would be read again by someone Trying to Make a Point.

Here's how bad I know it to be: In my early years as a writer, I liked using the word "nonplussed." The only problem is, I thought it meant "calm," or "unperturbed," which is how I habitually used it, whereas it in fact has a slightly different meaning: "not calm" or "perturbed." So.

AND THAT'S PROBABLY JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG.

So have at it, but be forewarned.

The remainder of this update is the simple poll, based on the halfway point in the fascinating trial of George Zimmerman. Click here to take the poll questions and see what other readers thought.

Please leave questions for the next full chat.

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Gene Weingarten
Gene Weingarten is the humor writer for The Washington Post. His column, Below the Beltway, has appeared weekly in the Post's Sunday magazine since July 2000 and has been distributed nationwide on The Los Angeles Times-Washington Post News Service. He was awarded the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing.
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