Live Q&As

Gene is not a good name, largely because everyone assumes you are "Eugene," which is a terrible name.   It's a terrible name for a lot of reasons, one of which is that when pronounced with a deep Southern accent ("you-JINE" it sounds like how you would summon your mentally retarded dog.   But Eugene is mostly  bad because means "well-born."   It is a name redolent of aristocracies.  Of inherited status.  Of primogeniture, that medieval system where the firstborn son inherits everything, a system that a cynic once applauded on the grounds that it meant every family would have only one idiot.  

You need to thank your husband.   

A worthy aptonym.   Not a great aptonym.   

Want a great aptonym?    Here is one I recently tweeted.  Please note the name of the doctor who treats brain cancer. 

Earlier, I had tweeted another superior aptonym.   Note the name of the judge who performs same-sex marriages. 

Both of these aptonyms were presented to me by my favorite aptonym wrangler, Lean Sandman.   Her name would be a great aptonym if she were, say, an anesthesioligist. 

A worthy aptonym.   Not a great aptonym.   

Want a great aptonym?    Here is one I recently tweeted.  Please note the name of the doctor who treats brain cancer. 

Earlier, I had tweeted another superior aptonym.   Note the name of the judge who performs same-sex marriages. 

Both of these aptonyms were presented to me by my favorite aptonym wrangler, Leah Sandman.   Her name would be a great aptonym if she were, say, an anesthesioligist. 

Clyde's backstory is only partially filled in.   We know he was a former grade school classmate of Barney's.   This Wikipedia entry summarizes the strip as currently explained.  There are disclosures yet to be disclosed, include a Huge One we have hinted at but probably will never outright address.  

(And you thought it was just a comic strip.)

You don't really want an answer.  You wanted to vent.  I permitted it.   Good. 

Some good standup comic I saw once said, "Okay, let's say Martians visit Earth and they see dogs walking around, and humans picking up their warm excreta in little bags.  Which species do you think the Martians would assume was dominant?"

This was in reference to a complex cartoon about rape from the last chat.  I missed this observation but would like to address it. 

I have never understood the near religious insistance that rape is not at all about sex, but is all about power.   It seems to be a mantra of the good people involved in the good cause of ending violence against women.  I gather it is as important to their position as "alcoholism is a disease, not a weakness" is to the AA movement, but I find both stances to be oddly absolutist.   I've always wanted to talk about this -- both of them -- but was always a little ... afraid.    It's not that I don't want to be criticized or called names, it's that I fear I am treading on hallowed ground, violating some taboos I don't entirely understand.   Still, truth matters.  So: 

I absolutely believe that alcoholism is in large measure an illness -- for one thing, some people seem vastly more chemically susceptible to it than others -- but to deny ANY moral weakness seems wrong to me; and because it seems politically correct on its face, I'm not so sure it helps the movement.   I say this as someone who has had alcoholism in his family, and who always had an unhealthy appetite for altered states of consciousness himself; it's not impossible to resist, it requires will, priorities, etc., it entails lapses, feelings of guilt.  The very fact that AA works for so many people -- ie, that altering your state of mind helps release you from the scourge -- seems evidence to me that there is some element of will and strength involved.    Cancer is truly a disease -- it can't be willed away.    Alcoholism isn't quite the same. 

Similarly, I have no doubt that rape is a violent crime that is basically the exercise of rage /power / anger / intimidation over someone, to compensate for a feeling of inadequacy or powerlessness.   But to deny the sexual element seems to me, perversely, to belittle rape; it's not the same as simple assault -- there's another facet of it that has to do with a primal urge that has become twisted.  It's gender specific.  Rapists may hate women and want to dominate them, but they also want them physically and this overpowering physical desire has to be part of the mix; part of the reason we are civilized is that humans have learned to mediate this overwhelming urge.   The rapist has to be, on some level, a sexual primitive. 

The question remains why it is chic / necessary / strategically important  to deny the sex part of this equation.   I don't get it.   I get why alcoholism is less stigmatized if it is seen as a disease, but I don't get why rape is any less awful if it is seem as a perversion of sex.  It's still a violent, damaging, loathsome act.   I'm no more inclined, as a juror, to go easy on a rapist if I believe he was driven in part by an urge.  Hey, we all got urges, pal.  

My two cents.   

Yep, I read it.   It's pretty good, but for Woody Allen it is largely phoned in.   Too many lines in there that he thought about for half a second, then went with.   

I think even Woody would agree that there is no tangible difference between a hypochondriac, which he claims not to be, and an alarmist, which he owns up to.   They are patently the same thing.      And like alcoholism,  they are a disease, not a weakness.  So just shut up about it, okay?