Live Q&As

She can't believe.  That's ridiculous.  Surely she has friends.  She is toying with you, leading you on, giggling with her friends about her dorky daddy (or mommy).   I really hope this is the case, because if it isn't, you are guilty of some bad child rearing here, IMO.   You have raised an alarmingly naive child.   If she doesn't know Santa's not real, what else doesn't she know?  Is she aware there are mean people in the world?  That sex causes babies?  

There is always the chance you are trolling me yourself, but a greater chance she is trolling you.   

Third possibility:  This is sort of a fantasy.   She knows, of course, she knows, but is embracing the fantasy in her house alone to the point that in her house alone, it is Real. It is an implied covenant between her and her parents:  She is trying to hold on to innocence and childlike wonder, knowing it is not real but pretending so hard that it is real that it remains a palpable, benign lie.    It would explain why her friends have never disabused her of this silliness: She doesn't discuss Santa with them, because they are part of the Outside World, where Santa doesn't exist.

If I have not gotten you too angry,  please report back after Christmas.   This fascinates me.   And if you are trolling us, let me know too.

It is!

This is in reference to my call for dog and cat blood donors for the clinic my daughter works in.  Many people responded, and I am grateful.   The best part is that they responded selflessly, because I neglected to mention the benefits to you: Free initial diagnostic bloodwork, free yearly wellness exams by a vet,  a year supply of heartworm meds, and 40 pounds of pet food.   So now you know!  

Again, Call Adrian M-Th from 6 am to 4pm, to set up an initial appointment.     301 926 3300

And sure, it's a hassle for you pet, but very much in his/her best interests.

Actually, I meant no hostility at all.  I was talking about ME -- why I don't think it's a problem to wish a Jew a Merry Christmas.  I celebrate Christman, just not religiously.

I disagree.  I think you are being absolutist about language, where absolutism is not appropriate.    The f-bomb can really help expression, sometimes.   Example:  Many standup routines are a lot funnier when that word is used intelligently and strategically well.   I agree it should not be overused.  But as smart seasoning, it can work well.  

You sound like a prude, a churl, and a scold.

Ah, yes.  Thank you.  I liked this column, mostly because it exposed me as a dork.   AND a hyporcrite: I am forever lecturing people about proper pronunciation.

Apparently not!  See previous!

Thank you.  I am laughing.

Nice.

I agree.

I am glad you asked about this.  By way of review, Pat the Perfect was mad at me.   She was right.   She was wildly demonstrative in chewing me out.  We were good friends.  It was awkward.   I couldn't get a word in edgewise.  She left deliberately not letting me get a word in edgewise.  She returns to her desk to find this message:  "I suppose a b--- j-- is out of the question?"

Why is this funny?  Because it spokes volumes.  It had an eloquent subtext she would have understood:  What had just happened, in the scheme of things was funny and not important.  We are fast friends, bound by many things -- mutual respect, etc. -- but most important, by a sense of humor.   We just had a serious but ultimately meaningless disagreement; nothing important has changed.   How do you say all that?  By making fun of the situation in the lexicon we most respect.  And humor is edgy.  

I admit, absolutely, that this could have been disastrous absent the fact that we were already friends who cared about each other.