<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/conversations/dana-milbank-newt-gingrich-needs-your-help/2011/06/10/AGeFVgOH_discussion.html">Help Newt!</a> Dana Milbank is recruiting you.

Jun 10, 2011

Help Wanted! Dana Milbank recruits volunteers to keep Newt Gingrich's campaign afloat now that his staff has quit. Will you be his cabin steward on his next Greek Islands sailing? Serve as his designated apologist to Paul Ryan? Liaison to Tiffany's? Tell Milbank what staff positions Newt should create for his campaign, and what you'd be willing to volunteer for! You can also join in on the conversation here.

Dana Milbank Live is your weekly opportunity for a give and take with Dana centering on the latest political news in Washington and his recent columns.

Each chat also features your responses to Dana's Etch-a-Sketch requests -- his lazy attempt to get you to do his work for him by seeking your best lines about the week's political oddities.

Let us waste no time talking about Sarah Palin's emails or Robert Gates's denunciation of NATO and immediately address the 800-pound minotaur in the room, Speaker Gingrich.

Please write to me with all offers of assistance to his embattled presidential campaign.  He no longer has a press spokesman so I will relay your offers to Gingrich c/o Tiffany & Co.

For my part I am generating as many slogans as possible, and I encourage your assistance there as well. 

Here's what we've got so far.  Keep 'em coming.

"Gingrich '12: We can Crete a new America."

"Gingrich: Seabourne to run."

"Isle like Newt!"

"Give 'em Hellenic"

"Put America on the Rhodes again?"

"Give Newt a Troy?"

"Atlas A Man of Honor"

"Isle of Newt"

 

 

 

We can't let him get out of the race yet-- there will so many more ops for him to put his foot in his mouth or be glittered.  And just imagine how boring the debates will be without him. He must go on. I yearn to see him in a serious discussion with Michle Bachman on American History-- a topic they are both known to embrace with varying degrees of accuracy. You must use your vast influence to keep him in the race.

It will be a titanic -- nay, Olympian -- struggle to keep him as a viable candidate.  But to those who say we cannot keep him afloat, I say: "Yes we Canace!"  (That's a lover of Poseidon, according to Wikipedia.

Is there something more to this? When David Wu's staff quit like this, there was an underlining reason. I just feel like this story isn't complete.

 

Seems pretty simple to me.  Wu sent his staffers pictures of himself dressed as a tiger.  Newt's staffers told him to go to Iowa and he went on a Seabourne cruise with Twiggy.

 

 

Newt the family values guy is definitely going to need a wingman, to help him troll the bars and alleys where he'll meet the next Mrs. Gingrich. Volunteer!

Thank you for your generous offer. 

 

 

Newt Gingrich: Rhodes Scholar

 

Gingrich:  From sea to wine-dark sea.

Obviously Newt and Callista got some sort of traveling points on their Tiffany's $500,000 revolving charge account. Their points were about to expire, so they JUST HAD TO GO at the height of the tourist season (and right after Newt nnounces his candidacy). So let's cut them some slack, okay? And the happiest person in the world right now has got to be Anthony Weiner.

We'll get to Weiner in a moment. I Prometheus.

I would love to be his Ideas Manager. As his shadow I would always be at arms length with a note pad in hand in order not to miss any nugget this Ideas Machine might utter. My other key responsibility would be to check these ideas with RNC leadership and Paul Ryan's staff to prevent another "right wing engineering"-like episode. Don't you agree this would be one of the key campaign positions? For sure Gingrich will continue to screw up big time without such a big hand in his team...

Hired!

 

 

Where do I send my resume to run Newt's campaign?

 

You can send it to him here.

Or you can just share it with us.  Can you talk like Tony Blankley?  Are you as smart as Alvin and Heidi Toffler?

 

I'd be happy to take care of maintaining Mrs. Gingrich (changing her batteries, etc.)

Αηδιαστικό. Δεν θα τιμώ ότι με μια απάντηση.

I cannot say that I would be much help in resurrecting Gingrich's campaign, but I will offer my vision for the musical tribute. So far, I see slow-motion close-ups over the sonorous tones of Boyz II Men's "Yesterday." Since he is presumably done and two weeks of the campaign include a personal vacationing, the "glittering" will comprise 90 percent of the filler.

The Tiffany answer to Bob Schieffer should also be in there, and the "right-wing social engineering" line. 

I think I can do at least as good a job as Ed Rollins in creating intraparty conflicts. Plus, my job is more difficult than Rollins - he's fighting the 'who's the prettiest' battle. As Newt's lieutenant, I need to pick a fight over 'who's the ideas' man - and frankly, I can't find a suitable counterpart in this roster.

I can't believe you don't think Newt is pretty, but I will forward your kind offer of help anyway.

It is not as if you need so much time to write your answer.

From the producer: The timing of these chats depends on how quickly the chatter is reading and responding to questions as well as the speed of the reader's connection.  Your page should be refreshing automatically, but please refresh your page manually to see if that helps.  Thank you!

Hey Dana - If Diaper Dave Vitter didn't resign after committing a felony (and the hookers have come forward to confirm his, uh, preferences), why the big push for Weiner to resign for doing nothing illegal? I just don't understand the way these things are handled. Thanks.

Okay, let's have a Weiner interlude at this point in the chat.

I am confident that if there were Facebook transcripts of Vitter's, ahem, colloquies with the D.C. Madam's ladies, or Twitpics of his -- pardon my Greek -- ionic column -- he would not have survived in office.

 

How many "package" jokes did your editor excise from your Weiner column?

 

My editor, Marisa Katz, has an excellent technique for reducing wordplay.  She does not cut them out but tells me at which point in the story she has been hit by so many puns that she cannot read any further.   Sometimes this occurs in the second or third graf.

But I think I'm going to add that ionic column bit to the pantheon.

 

Seriously, are Anthony Weiner's pics anymore lewd then Aaron Schock?

 

I find them both horribly disturbing, though perhaps not as disturbing as some of you found the photographs of my own body parts that some hacker put into last week's chat.

I have been to the gym every day this week, however, and I am beginning to notice improvement:

 

 

Maybe we need to take a quick look at the real GOP frontrunner, Herman Cain, and his compelling pledge to veto any legislation that exceeds 3 pages.

Did you hear that his solution to the border problem is having a moat with alligators?   The Hermanator!

 

I would like to fill the post of "Spoken Word Confirmer." Since we learned from his Sunday Morning appearances when he excoriated Paul Ryan's budget that those weren't actually his words (if any advertisements say I said this, that would be false), I think he needs someone who is authorized to say "Yes, this is Newt's final word and you can print it/use it/quote it." It has to be the easiest job, since absolutely nothing Newt says is final, even those things said on national television.

In this role you would work very closely with FactCheck.org and the Post's Glenn Kessler. 

I want to be the personal shopper for potential new wives.

We already hired a wingman for this purpose earlier in the chat.  But it sounds as if you are looking for a position on what is known as the "advance team."   You're hired.

oh Dana, why do you hate women so much? My theory is liberals do not like the Palin's and Cain's of the world because the liberal feels betrayed. "We made you! Without us, you'd still be pounding out babies in the kitchen, or pickin cotton in the fields! After all we liberals have done for you, for you to be one of them... Well Allah help you because we will destroy you, and show that you are stupid." Either that or you think she is hot, and she hasn't responded yet to your weiner twitter to her. Either way, I'd be happy to join in the perusal of Obama's emails, college records, dealings with Wright and Ayers etc. Oh wait...right that isn't going to happen.

Cain is a woman?

 

Forget Palin's emails, when will the post do something similar with Weiner's emails? Not only would it be more interesting, but the post could make money. 4.99 to "review" the first email, and 2.99 for each additional email. Must be 18 to order.

He once told me he sent me an email, but I never saw it.  Now I'm thinking it got caught by the spam filter.  I have to reduce my "adult content" setting.

the chat is slow. Let's look at the facts. Cillizza's chat for an hour routinly has 40 to 50 answers. Milbank chat 25 -30. Does it take longer to come up with Greek puns?

Come on, it's not the length of your chat that counts.

Chris has two people working for him.  I am relying on you, the unpaid volunteer, to do my work for me.

 

Would it help Newt's campaign, if he sent shirtless pics of himself on Twitter?

 

It could not hurt. After a week working out in the Seabourne gym, he is a regular Adonis.

 

Isn't it more like Corinthian column, with all that curly stuff at the top?

Σημειώνεται χωρίς σχόλιο.

Will we ever see a Live Q&A where you are opining on serious issues, or is it all about fat pictures, Weiner and the Newt, Beck and Palin soap opera triology?

The latter.

(Sorry about the short answers-- trying to catch up to Cillizza.)

Won't they freeze at the Canadian border?

This is a question I'd like to address to the person who agreed to be Newt's ideas man.

Is Andrew Breitbart suddenly forgiven for the fraud on ACORN videos, Shirley Sherrod video, etc...?

Whatever he did to Shirley Sherrod is not nearly as bad as what he did to me when I clicked on the link to that Weiner photo that Opie and Anthony tweeted out. 

Ah - but how would he deal with a Pitfall! scenario? One cannot overlook the crafty use of vines to infiltrate our borders...

Another question for the ideas guy. 

I would like to apply for the position of Newt's Hashtagger, so that I can qualify all his remarks on Twitter. I anticipate that I would make frequent use of the hashtag #notintendedasafactualstatement

#welcometoteamnewt

I'm the perfect candidate to be Newt's DOPA. Just ask my ex-wife.

I am never disappointed when I call upon the generosity of the American public, particularly the elite subset that participates in this chat.

Who was the dastardly devil who asked Palin that "gotcha" question to which she replied about Paul Revere? Another member of the "lame-stream media," no doubt!

Fellow by the name of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  I believe he works for the Globe.

I am disappointed that Mitt Romney is passing on the straw poll in August. He threw such a lovely party last time ($1M), far nicer than the other candidates, and he did win the caucus. I feel...jilted.

Baffling, isn't it?  Ames is the one place where it's perfectly legal to buy votes, and it obviously works.  The guy with the most lavish spread almost always wins. 

Maybe he was afraid the Hermanator would bring alligators?

And your lower arms. 12oz curls just don't cut it bubba. My girlfriend trains some of top body builders in the country. Can the WP afford $15K a month to put her on an exclusive retainer to train you? You step out of line an all five ft of her will snap you like a twig.

Depends.  Can she answer chat questions so that I can keep up with Cillizza's output? 

Newt Gingrich is a former Speaker of the House of Representatives, and Presidential candidate. I'd say that's a pretty serious issue; it's not Milbank's fault if Newt's personal life raises unseemly questions. So don't shoot the messenger!

Ah, thank you.

In fact, Newt is the Platonic ideal of a presidential candidate.

Now that Newt's out, can we start devoting more attention to The Rent's Too Damn High Party?

 

Thank you for that memory.

 

 

You know about a year or two ago, I was talking about border security with a friend and joked - joked mind you - that pretty soon the Republicans would be talking about building a moat with alligators. Prescient, huh ?

Were you able to solve the problem of the alligators freezing on the northern border?

 

 

I would be interested in seeing a breakdown on public opinion on the Rep. Weiner scandal by age group. It would be my hypothesis that Millenials won't find this that big a deal whereas Baby Boomers are totally shocked.

It will also depend on whether they saw the Opie & Anthony shot.

I'd like to be Callista's personal shopper, e.g., at Tiffany's.

Sorry, the Gingrich '12 personal shopping team is fully staffed.  Can we interest you in a spot in the travel office?

Read my lips: no Newt children

Newtonium! It's Elemental.

I believe our offers of assistance will keep Gingrich's campaign going a bit longer -- possibly until Herman's alligators eat him alive at Ames.

Speak to you again next week.

 

In This Chat
Dana Milbank
Dana Milbank reviews the political theater of the nation's capital in his editorial-page column. His most recent book is "Tears of a Clown: Glenn Beck and the Tea Bagging of America;" his other books are "Homo Politicus" (Doubleday, 2008) and "Smashmouth" (Basic Books, 2001). Milbank joined The Post as a political reporter in 2000 and wrote the "Washington Sketch" column for nearly six years. He lives in Washington with his wife and daughter. • Dana Milbank Bio & Archive
Milbank Q&As
Recent Chats
  • Next: