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August 5, 2014

11:01
A.M.

ComPost Live with Alexandra Petri

Total Responses: 72

About the hosts

About the host

Alexandra Petri

About the topic

Join us next Tuesday to laugh, cry, and dish about the moments that amused you, shocked you, or caused you to yell things that frightened the other people on the subway.

Past ComPost Live Chats

Connect on Twitter: @PostLive | @petridishes
Q.

Alexandra Petri :

Happy Tuesday, all!

A couple of topics:

1) This weekend, Rand Paul read a poem that should settle once and for all the question of What Rhymes with Alison Lundergan Grimes (A: too many things!) Is this worse than that poem Woodrow Wilson wrote?

2) Does this change how we feel about men with cats?

3) Happy Anniversary of the first allied shots fired in World War I and the beginning of the battle of Mobile Bay!

Q.

I'm working on a fourth utensil

For when a knife, fork, or spoon won't do. I call it the claw.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Are we talking wolverine-style (good for shish kebabs) or something more cat-like?

– August 05, 2014 11:05 AM
Q.

I Am Not Making This Up

The most fun I had at a TSA checkpoint was pre-see-you-naked machines. I had on a waist cinch that apparently set off the metal detector. When I was wanded, I explained what it was and the agent said "I don't know what that is." He called over a woman to do the pat-down routine. She said "we can go to a private room if you wish." I said, "no this is fine." Afterwards, a random traveler came over and said "how can I get her to do that to me?" I didn't say "dress like a girl when you travel," which is what I was doing. I'm a male crossdresser.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I'm surprised you didn't tell him, "It's a cinch!"

– August 05, 2014 11:08 AM
Q.

Political news

There is a Political Action Committee named Americans for Intercourse? Who is their opposition?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Lysistrata, I would guess.

– August 05, 2014 11:09 AM
Q.

Homophones

Did you hear about the teacher who was fired for writing about homophones? I had never hear of homophonic tendencies until I was in grade school and homophones were indeed forced upon us. I still wake up screaming in bed about there (or is it "their") being "to' and "two".
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This is the sinister homophone agenda and it has crept into our elementary schools. Yet homophonophobia like yours is frowned on.

– August 05, 2014 11:10 AM
Q.

5 Months Off

I need ideas. I have about 5 months free starting next week. I'm retired from work and I'll be starting university classes in Jan. Until then I need something to do. Should I volunteer, get a temp job, take a long walk? I'm desperate to get away, but I don't have a lot of extra money right now. Do you or your readers have any ideas? What would you do?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Ooh, this is a fun question!

I would probably start answering all the Craigslist ads for one-time gigs, but this, again, is why I should not be a professional advice-giver. If you like theater, volunteering as an usher could be fun! If you hate theater, standing outside with a tray of unripe vegetables could be fun.

Long walks are always advisable, especially when taken by people you dislike, as someone wise once said.

What else do we have?

– August 05, 2014 11:16 AM
Q.

Have you considered pronouncing it Ale Xandra?

Friends could call you Xandra.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Why not "Ale"? I knew a girl named Heartie -- we could have been Ale and Heartie!

Fortunately this possibility did not occur to us at the time.

– August 05, 2014 11:17 AM
Q.

I stop thinking about the

bookmark that tweets when you stop reading the book. Isn't the job of the publisher over once you buy the book? Why do they need you finish it? (This is a publisher thing, right?) I feel guilty enough when the library sends me e-mails that my current books are going to be due in 3 days.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Exactly! I thought that was the one advantage of being an inveterate book-buyer rather than a book-borrower -- nobody bugging you to see how far you'd gotten and when you'd be finished! That, and always having the Portable Dorothy on hand.

– August 05, 2014 11:18 AM
Q.

Happy Anniversary of the first allied shots fired in World War I and the beginning of the battle of Mobile Bay!

I'm getting confused with so many war anniversaries going on. I was busy enough with the Civil War sesquicentennial when the War of 1812 came along (this September will be really big in Maryland, what with Ft. McHenry & all), and now it's all Guns of August. What's a history buff to do?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

It's always either feast or famine!

I frankly think the war of 1812 is overstepping its boundaries a little. It should have stopped in 1812 if it wanted to be called that. Then again, the War of 1812 Including But Not Limited To 1812 is an obviously poor name for a war.

– August 05, 2014 11:20 AM
Q.

Cat Guy

It's a bad idea to anthropomorphize cats. It makes them mad.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I see what "yoooooouuuu" did there.

– August 05, 2014 11:21 AM
Q.

SPORK.

"For when a knife, fork, or spoon won't do. I call it the claw." ------- They've already invented this. It's called the Spork. Mine came in bright orange, the night last winter I spent in jail. (Don't u judge me ;-)
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Hey, happens to the most Thoreau of us!

I assumed the spork was already silently included in the set of fork, knife, and spoon.

Now all we need is a spork with a very sharp handle that combines the functionality of all three -- the shork, maybe?

– August 05, 2014 11:23 AM
Q.

Understandable Homophonia

Take the sentences "I went to two stores too. There are three t___s in that sentence." What do you put in the blank?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

tutus

– August 05, 2014 11:23 AM
Q.

The claw is designed for peas

Which you can't really eat with a knife or fork, and is awkward with a spoon.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Is the claw a knife smeared with honey? That works just fine!

– August 05, 2014 11:24 AM
Q.

Go camping until you're sick of sitting in the woods

That should kill a month.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

That should kill an hour or two.

– August 05, 2014 11:24 AM
Q.

TSA....

My brother and sister-in-law flew with my niece just after the rule switch that allowed young children to keep their shoes on in line. My nephew niece really wanted to know why mommy and daddy had to take off their shoes and she didn't. Well, you don't explain explosives and terrorists to a pre-schooler, so my brother, in an attempt to avoid a "because those are the rules" response, told her it was to check to see if there were any snakes in their shoes (which would be bad for the airplane) and her shoes were too small to have any snakes so she didn't have to take hers off. Which, of course, meant that she spent the rest of the time before their flight was called walking up to strangers and telling them in an extremely loud voice that her shoes were too small to have any snakes hidden in them. They got on the plane all right. Delighted to discover that at least a few TSA agents probably do have a sense of humor.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This made me audibly giggle!

She's going to watch "Snakes on a Plane" with more than usual interest someday.

– August 05, 2014 11:25 AM
Q.

It Says

"Total Respones: 6 Currently Online: 0" How does THAT work?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I guess there's nobody here but us unsubstantial spirits and anthropomorphic cats.

– August 05, 2014 11:25 AM
Q.

I'm retired from work and I'll be starting university classes in Jan.

TRAVEL!
A.
Alexandra Petri :

THIS!

If you're willing to be adventurous, it doesn't have to be hugely expensive! I think John Waters just hitchhiked across the country, although I'm not sure I would recommend this.

– August 05, 2014 11:27 AM
Q.

Did you hear about the teacher who was fired for writing about homophones?

I am surprised these ignoramuses aren't rallying to prevent the homogenization of milk. After all, that's forced down our throats every day.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This is the tyranny of the 2 percent!

– August 05, 2014 11:28 AM
Q.

I've always wanted to be Blythe and Bonny

I would be the blithe one.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I once briefly met a couple named Mark and Mindy, which I think is great.

– August 05, 2014 11:29 AM
Q.

Late Last Night

I baked a cobbler and I left it out to cool. This morning there were shoes EVERYWHERE.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Now there's a twist on the old fairy tale!

This was one joke Sweeney Todd missed! He did get the shepherd's pie in, though.

– August 05, 2014 11:31 AM
Q.

If we're going to talk bad names for wars...

Poor Hundred Years War. It already sounds miserable, and then it was really the 116 Years, Give Or Take, War.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Once a war hits 100, it's considered rude to be too specific about its age.

– August 05, 2014 11:32 AM
Q.

anthropomorphic cats.

Do anthropomorphic cats have ailuromorphic humans?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I would watch a video based on this concept for up to two minutes!

There is that one woman who is undergoing plastic surgery to better resemble a large cat, but we shouldn't count her.

– August 05, 2014 11:35 AM
Q.

Number Online

My computer is telling me there are zero online. So where am I and where are you and what are we doing?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I was hoping to be able to break the news that we are all ghosts (inside or outside of the machine) more gently, but -- well, there we are, I guess.

– August 05, 2014 11:36 AM
Q.

I once briefly met a couple named Mark and Mindy

I knew a couple named Patricia and Patrick -- known to one and all as Pat 'n' Pat.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

They could have gotten a TSA job!

*rimshot*

*audible groans*

"It was better than the 'It's Pat' joke I was trying to work in, okay?"

– August 05, 2014 11:38 AM
Q.

If we are still on the War of 1812, I want to give a shout out to Isaac Brock

He tricked the American general, William Hull, into surrendering Fort Detroit. The wiki says: At this point, even with his Native American allies, Brock was outnumbered approximately two to one. Brock thus decided to use a series of tricks to intimidate Hull. He dressed his militia contingent in worn-out uniforms discarded by his regulars, making it appear (at a distance) as if his force consisted entirely of British regular infantry. Brock then laid siege to Fort Detroit, from established artillery positions across the river in Sandwich, and through a carefully crafted series of marches, made it appear he had far more natives with him than he actually did. He had Tecumseh's forces cross in front of the fort several times (doubling back under cover), intimidating Hull with the show of a large, raucous, barely controlled group of natives. Finally, he sent Hull a letter demanding his surrender, in which he stated, in part, "It is far from my inclination to join in a war of extermination, but you must be aware that the numerous body of Indians who have attached themselves to my troops will be beyond my control the moment the contest commences." Brock then hammered the fort with cannon fire. On 16 August, the day after receiving Brock's letter, Hull surrendered. Hull, elderly and without recent military experience, was terrified that the civilian population of the fort, including his own daughter and grandson, would face torture at the hands of the natives.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Wow, that's quite the strategy! And here I thought George Washington was a military fox for keeping the campfires burning while he crossed the Delaware!

"It is far from my inclination to join in a war of extermination" is a great bluff, if it works, of course.

– August 05, 2014 11:40 AM
Q.

Maybe we can find a new name for the War of 1812

What do the Canadians call it? After all, it's much more important to them than it is to us, since they stopped us from invading them.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

That's such an American way of putting it.

Calling the War of 1812 the war where "the Canadians stopped us from invading them" is like calling the Battle of Hastings "a moment when William did a great job of keeping the Anglo-Saxons out of France."

– August 05, 2014 11:44 AM
Q.

Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber

Hey AP - please give us your insight on this really important little scuffle.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I mean, far be it from me to applaud violence of any kind, except when directed at Justin Bieber. I mean, "even." "Even when directed at Justin Bieber."

The worst part was all the cruel juveniles on Twitter who insisted that they had never heard of Orlando Bloom. Lord of the Rings was barely -- ten years ago. Gulp.

– August 05, 2014 11:47 AM
Q.

Would you name your son and daughter

Daniel and Danielle?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I don't think so, unless there were some compelling reason for it, like if Orlando Bloom threatened to hit Justin Bieber again if I did.

– August 05, 2014 11:49 AM
Q.

SPORK.

I had a spork but got rid of it because I realized you need separate knifes and forks. You need the fork to hold the meat, etc. you're cutting. You can't do that with just a sport.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Gatsby can!

I'm sorry, I know that was a typo.

– August 05, 2014 11:50 AM
Q.

He had Tecumseh's forces cross in front of the fort several times (doubling back under cover), intimidating Hull with the show of a large, raucous, barely controlled group of natives.

Opera companies do the same thing with the Triumphal Procession in Verdi's "Aida." I know this because my husband was a supernumerary in a production of the opera, and I could recognize him several times.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Hey, speaking of fun ways to travel while you have a few months off! Anyone know the hookup for supernumeraries? That would be a blast -- music, costumes, time travel.

– August 05, 2014 11:51 AM
Q.

Is this really one of the highlights of your week?

Or were you just joshing?
A.
Alexandra Petri :
– August 05, 2014 11:52 AM
Q.

Maybe we can find a new name for the War of 1812

Up here in the Great White North, we call it "The War of 1812". We celebrated our part in it a couple of months ago.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Good to know! Tell the Great White North hi!

– August 05, 2014 11:53 AM
Q.

I once was a man with a cat

I went to rent a no-pets apartment, and I asked the grandma who showed it to me, if cats counted as pets? She said "Why no dear, I know how we both love cats." Then I noticed that her apartment had dozen of cats. A chill went up my spine, I stepped back from the abyss, and ended up renting another apartment.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

You would have been her next cat!

It was Circe, wasn't it?

(My mental image of cat ladies is always that they are secretly Circe, and that each cat is a man who wronged them once and was transformed. Speaking of ailuromorphs!)

– August 05, 2014 11:54 AM
Q.

New Name

The War of 1812 indeed needs a new one. Since it lasted two years, I believe it should be renamed the War of Circa 1813.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Circa 1813 would be a good name for a restaurant.

– August 05, 2014 11:55 AM
Q.

War of 1812 in Canda

I have a friend who told me that they basically consider it a war of independence, though that name isn't used. It was an existential moment. If we had taken over, at least the south east of Canada would be part of the US. They ceased to be a colony and became part of the Commonwealth without a war, so 1812 is the only canidate they have for that position in their history. Not sure what actual name they use for it.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

"The War of 1812," says our friend from up in the Great White North!

I suppose we could always go for the War on (Great North) Whites, after what that congressman said.

– August 05, 2014 11:56 AM
Q.

NBC Peter Pan

why has Peter traditionally been played by a woman? I know back in the day men often played women's roles, but don't get why a woman plays the part of a boy. Do they think its too difficult a part for a pre adolescent male? Or is it just a weird quirk of history?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Well, first off, I think it's clear now that NBC is just messing with us, if the first time left us with any doubt whatsoever. And second off, I don't know! Don't take our last great pants (er, green tights) role!

I remember growing up and watching the Mary Martin version and not being bothered by it at all, but then again, that song with Tiger Lily also went right over my head and didn't bother me at all, so -- probably a rewatch is in order.

Then again, it's better than having the part be played by an adult male.

Then again, few things creepier than a grown woman leaping through your bedroom window late at night and announcing, "COME FLY WITH ME, I AM THE BOY WHO WON'T GROW UP."

– August 05, 2014 12:00 PM
Q.

Practical Sporking Tip.

I think if you're going to stab the meat hard enough with the jagged teeth to cut and tear a bite-sized portion off, it's ok to simply use a finger from the other hand to hold the big chunk on the plate steady. (I am experienced, and Thoreau and Martin back me here.) "I had a spork but got rid of it because I realized you need separate knifes and forks. You need the fork to hold the meat, etc. you're cutting. "
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Also, why would you ever get rid of a spork?

– August 05, 2014 12:01 PM
Q.

Alexandra Petri :

(This is how, years from now, I wind up alone surrounded by cats and sporks.)

Q.

re: surrendering Fort Detroit

Yeah, but the Brits won long-term -- they gave Detroit back and we kept it.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Awww.

– August 05, 2014 12:02 PM
Q.

Captain Hook was Peter Pan's father

I've spoiled the sequel for you.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

NAOOOOOOOO

That's not true!

That's impossible!

– August 05, 2014 12:04 PM
Q.

More couple names

My sister's friends, Harry and Carrie. I also know of a Harry and Mary.
A.
Alexandra Petri :
– August 05, 2014 12:05 PM
Q.

Circa 1813 restaurant.

They got closed down for serving up cat.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

While it lasted, it impressed.

– August 05, 2014 12:06 PM
Q.

Maybe we can find a new name for the War of 1812

Actually, there was another US invasion, in 1837. The Hunter Patriots, a bunch of (loony) patriots in norther New York State, stage an invasion from the east end of Lake Ontario. They ran io a series of very very funny set-backs while sailing down the St. Lawrence River and were eventually captured at the Battle of The Windmill, near Prescott, Ontario, after about 6 people died.. The story is written up in "Guns Across the River".
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I'm going to have to look this up! This sounds amazing!

– August 05, 2014 12:09 PM
Q.

While it lasted, it impressed.

Ah but you're quickly forgotten when the final curtain falls... For the record, I'VE never owned a cat. How many have you, or was it just the humanly dog you got as the SAT present that you've cared for? Don't worry -- there's always Daniel and Danielle to fall back on. ;-)
A.
Alexandra Petri :

There was a cat before the dog! The cat kept us all under an iron paw. She liked to attack houseguests and repairmen. To hear us talk about her, you wanted to take us aside and make sure we were all right. "She's really very sweet when she gets to know you," we would say. "She just likes to have things her way." "She's never scratched me! Well, she didn't mean to." Great cat, though, if you were on her good side.

– August 05, 2014 12:12 PM
Q.

Names

I know a married pair of doctors, Paul and Paula. Maybe they're descended from that old singing duo. And I know a Tom Sawyer who actually married a Becky.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I love it when you see characters getting together!

Once, right after reading "The Invention of Love," I was at the airport and they started paging passengers Housman and Jackson, and I got excited that maybe in some section of the universe the two had gotten things worked out and were traveling together.

– August 05, 2014 12:14 PM
Q.

I once had a hairdresser...

who wasn't very polite. He told me he once told a customer, "I'm a hairdresser, not a magician!" one day when she was getting to him. You're "no comment" reminded me of that one. Funny. "Is this really one of the highlights of your week? Or were you just joshing?"
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Are you sure he wasn't Bones from Star Trek?

I guess if he'd said he was a doctor, not a magician, that would follow more logically.

– August 05, 2014 12:16 PM
Q.

The Spork of the Gods

just make sure it's titanium http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/8ace/
A.
Alexandra Petri :

"Threatens job security of your other utensils."

– August 05, 2014 12:17 PM
Q.

Couple names

I know a Gene and Jean. That has to be really confusing when someone leaves a voice mail on the house phone.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

They should go by Mendel and Pants.

No, I take that back, that's a terrible idea.

– August 05, 2014 12:18 PM
Q.

peter pan as played by XX

I threw this very Q out around the dinner table just this last weekend (we talk about weird stuff - just for fun)... best explanation we came up with is that they need someone who looks adult-ish but still has a high-pitched voice to pull off 'pre-adolescent boyish'
A.
Alexandra Petri :

But, as someone else said, why not... a pre-adolescent boy? They do it for Billy Elliot.

– August 05, 2014 12:19 PM
Q.

Philadelphia restaurant guide

There indeed was a restaurant in Philadelphia that loved cats, In fact, Health Department inspectors found several in the freezer. Therefore, every time I eat chicken in Philadelphia, I remark "good, tastes like cat."
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I'm not sure "loving" is the same as "having in your freezer," but if Criminal Minds has taught me anything, it is that not everyone feels as I do on this.

– August 05, 2014 12:21 PM
Q.

Couple names

One of my sets of grandparents was named Joseph and Mary.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I was going to hail you as the messiah, but then I realized you said "grandparents," not parents.

– August 05, 2014 12:22 PM
Q.

Mandolin Pants

isn't that the new quirky bluegrass duo?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

That, or something you don't want to hear on the phone late at night.

– August 05, 2014 12:23 PM
Q.

Pre-Adolescent Boys

Have union issues. I mean, child labor issues. Don't know how they get away with having a real boy in Billy Elliot.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

They have a team of three, I think, to get around the union. Same with Annie! It can be done!

– August 05, 2014 12:23 PM
Q.

Tights

Nobody wants to see boys in tights. Speaking of that, Labyrinth is one of my favorite movies.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Tights are for MEN! Manly men!

– August 05, 2014 12:24 PM
Q.

I thought sporks....

were for those times when a public school serves incredibly balanced meals like mac&cheese with french fries. When did meat get involved with sporks?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I don't know, but meat needs to go back where it came from and not make trouble.

 

– August 05, 2014 12:24 PM
Q.

"why not... a pre-adolescent boy? They do it for Billy Elliot"

For a stage run, they need a boy who's old enough to perform the role well -- but then there's the risk that his voice will change before the stage run is over, so he'll need to be replaced. A woman playing the role doesn't face that problem.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

All this is true!

But what might not work for a long run could go just fine on NBC for a single evening, although we'd run the risk of the star turning into Justin Bieber afterwards.

– August 05, 2014 12:26 PM
Q.

Billy Elliot is a very new musical...

Same thing with Matilda. I think they cast 4 or more kids for those parts so they don't have to do more than a few shows a week. I don't think anyone was willing to spend the money in the 50s to accomodate actual young kids playing a part that essential. Plus, using a woman allowed them to put a bankable star in the part. And you don't have to worry about her voice changing if the run goes on for a while. And she won't grow out of her costumes.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Yes, all of this!

– August 05, 2014 12:27 PM
Q.

why not... a pre-adolescent boy? T

Isn't the whole point of the story the refusal to grow up? Wouldn't a pre-adolescent boy just be a pre-grown up? In time, adulthood would get him too. (Btw, isn't Peter Pan just a girls-civilized English version, reworking Kipling's much better Jungle Book?)
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Oooh, hadn't thought of it this way.

The trouble is Mowgli does grow up. You're right that Peter Pan is more "civilized" -- those aren't pirates, they're pasteboard pirates, and the whole place seems safer for children raised indoors playing house and sewing buttons on. There's no BUTTONS in the JUNGLE!

But elaborate!

Also, speaking of boys who won't grow up, I just realized I missed a Catsmeat? You mean Potter-Pirbright? joke opportunity.

– August 05, 2014 12:31 PM
Q.

Sibling names

A father I knew named his first offspring Pete. When a second one came along, he named him Repeat.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

hur hur hur hur

– August 05, 2014 12:32 PM
Q.

No Trouble with Meat.

If you can't digest it, don't eat it. It's not a bad thing, it's just not for everyone is all. No need to insult the diners, ok?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I love meat! Have you meat me?
I just meant I didn't see the need to put meat on a spork!

– August 05, 2014 12:32 PM
Q.

Just wondering

I wonder if Cathy Rigby could play Billy Elliott?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Only one way to find out!

– August 05, 2014 12:33 PM
Q.

Peter Pan played by XX - again

They wouldn't use a pre-adolescent boy because Peter Pan 'NEVER grew up', not 'hasn't grown up yet' ... they have to convey 'aged' but 'never matured' ... an 11 y.o. boy would be too youthful
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This is why Bieber would be so perfect!

– August 05, 2014 12:33 PM
Q.

Btw, isn't Peter Pan just a girls-civilized English version, reworking Kipling's much better Jungle Book?

Only in the Disney version. The actual play is much darker and Freudian, as is the book. And don't go for the sanitized movie with Johnny Depp, either; the real Barrie was an emotional predator.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I don't remember the book being that dark and Freudian, but then again, it was read to me as a child, and you have a lot of dark, Freudian stuff read to you as a child and just sort of assume it's normal.

– August 05, 2014 12:39 PM
Q.

Peter Pan played by girl..

I googled this last week. One of the reasons Peter was traditionally played by an adult woman was so that he would be bigger than the Lost Boys. If Peter was played by a teenage boy, the Lost Boys would have had to be even younger. Back when the stage play first started back in England, labor laws prevented kids under 14 from working past a certain time, so they used a adult woman and older teens...
A.
Alexandra Petri :

That also makes sense! I wondered why the Lost Boys were so old-ish!

– August 05, 2014 12:41 PM
Q.

Why should you never fly on Peter Pan airlines?

Because you'll never never land.
Q.

But elaborate!

If I remember the story correctly, when told by the wolves and cat that he too was Man and must return to them, the boy shed tears. or maybe he shed the tears first, which proved he was human and had to one day return to Man. Either way, he did not exactly embrace his inheritance. Kipling over Barrie, any day. Ask your son, one day, which he'd rather you read him to sleep... I know boys and I know reader: he'll take Mowgli over Peter Pan. Hth!
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Of course he didn't initially embrace his inheritance! The story is about how he comes to do that! I think the difference between Mowgli and Peter is that Mowgli is someone the reader might conceivably want to be, whereas Peter, appealing as he might be in some ways, is also obviously incomplete in others. The only person who grows up in Peter Pan is Wendy. Peter's a cautionary tale, even when he's having fun. "This is as much fun as you can have without growing up," Peter Pan says. And it's fun for -- a fixed amount of time. Maybe a whole childhood long. Anything longer than that and you wind up stunted and strange.

I think my daughter might also prefer Mowgli. It's been a long time since I read either. It depends if the child in question is in the mood for talking snakes, wolf-packs, and panther parenting. Hth!

– August 05, 2014 12:50 PM
Q.

You never did answer.

The summer is more than half past. Has Alexandra stepped on a real roller coaster yet? (no, your life traumas and ups and downs do not count.)
A.
Alexandra Petri :

No, I haven't! It's on the Summer Bucket list!

– August 05, 2014 12:50 PM
Q.

I wondered why the Lost Boys were so old-ish!

Also, to signify they had REALLY been lost to time. If they were really young boys, they might just have been dropped on the island. This way, you think of them more like Odysseus' soldiers, really really LOST.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

They were also large cats.

– August 05, 2014 12:51 PM
Q.

female Peter Pan

a grown woman just isn't a "boy who never grew up" so I reject that women are used to portray -aged but not grown.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Yeah, it would be an understatement to say that we seem to be navigating some interesting gender-assumption shoals right now.

– August 05, 2014 12:52 PM
Q.

Tights are for MEN! Manly men!

Men in Tights is one of my favorite movies.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

You are correct!

– August 05, 2014 12:56 PM
Q.

The real problem with "Peter Pan" nowadays?

Isn't the REAL problem with "Peter Pan" nowadays that children don't know what an alarm clock is?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Just put a cell phone in the croc! It can go off at inconvenient times.

– August 05, 2014 12:57 PM
Q.

Today's theme...

things that seem like they are a real thing, but aren't. Like Peter Pan women. Sporks. And the amount of people currently online.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

And on that note, since we stopped believing in ourselves, I'm going to pull a tinker bell and vanish! Have a great week, all! Keep reading the Compost, feel free to join me on Twitter, and check out the Campsite Rule!

– August 05, 2014 12:59 PM
Q.

Re. They were also large cats.

If you're talking about the musical "Cats" now, they were big in costume like that so you could see them on stage. You probably sat up close. If you sat in the very back, you wouldn't see them if they were played by trained animals and not human characters. Hope this helps!
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I would very very much attend a Cats with live cats.

Also, drat, I misspelled Tinkerbell!

– August 05, 2014 1:03 PM
Q.

Btw, you should reread before you insult.

There's an awful lot in there about character development, and not just talking animals, you know! Try Felix Salten's Bambi too. You'd like it a lot, I bet! I sure did. " It's been a long time since I read either. It depends if the child in question is in the mood for talking snakes, wolf-packs, and panther parenting. Hth!"
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I liked it too! I like both! Anyone who thinks "panther parenting" is something I wouldn't be eager to read about has not seen my bookshelf lately!

– August 05, 2014 1:04 PM
Q.

 

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