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October 15, 2013

11:05
A.M.

ComPost Live with Alexandra Petri

Total Responses: 76

About the hosts

About the host

Alexandra Petri

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost, a lighter take on the news and issues of the day, and she contributes to the Post editorial page. Her work has appeared in venues such as The Huffington Post, The Week, Newsweek.com, Businessweek.com, Collegehumor, and The Harvard Crimson. She has appeared on Jeopardy!, Showbiz Tonight and Canadian radio, and she has performed at Boston's Comedy Studio and Comedy Connection. She would love to be on your TV show, radio show, Daily Show, HBO special, or to be an honored guest (or regular guest) at your Bar Mitzvah. She is the author of two books (unpublished, but contact her!), two screenplays, three plays, one musical, and one memoir (Ernest Hemingway's A Moveable Feast.)

About the topic

Join us next Tuesday to laugh, cry, and dish about the moments that amused you, shocked you, or caused you to yell things that frightened the other people on the subway.

Past ComPost Live Chats

Connect on Twitter: @PostLive | @petridishes
Q.

Alexandra Petri :

And we're live!

And yes, it's that time of year again, when the night wind howls and the dogs bay at the moon and it is the spectres' and ghosts' holiday and high noon respectively, so that means...

HALLOWEEN COSTUME CHAT!

Lay it on me. We've only got 12 days until the beginning of the Ambiguously Long Halloween Week/end, so this has urgency to it!

Q.

Petrichor

According to http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=storm-scents-smell-rain, petrichor is "the redolent combination of fatty acids, alcohols and hydrocarbons" released from the ground after a rain. Is that what you smell like after a shower?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This word came to prominence recently-ish on Neil Gaiman's episode of Doctor Who!

I think I smell more like crimson eleven delight.

A redolent combination of alcohols and fatty acids sounds less like my aroma than my diet.

– October 15, 2013 11:09 AM
Q.

I Am In Favor of the Debt Ceiling

I am a debt ceiling fan.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Now that's a costume!

*With the asterisk that I put on all debt ceiling-based costumes, which is that a debt ceiling costume is only funny to 6 people in DC, and is not in fact a very good joke -- much like the actual debt ceiling, actually.

– October 15, 2013 11:11 AM
Q.

Seinfeld

You're late. No bacon for you.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

*flips table*

– October 15, 2013 11:12 AM
Q.

Why don't kleptomaniacs make puns?

They always take things literally.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This is one of my favorites. Mind-blowing wheels within wheels!

 

– October 15, 2013 11:12 AM
Q.

There are two types of experimenters in the lab

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
A.
Alexandra Petri :

And binary!

No, wait, that's another joke. Carry on.

– October 15, 2013 11:13 AM
Q.

What do you call two crows sitting next to each other?

An attempted murder.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

What did Queen Victoria say to the capon who sat next to her?

– October 15, 2013 11:15 AM
Q.

A logician delivers a baby

The dad asks “Is it a boy or a girl?” and she replies “Yes.”
A.
Alexandra Petri :

What did the highwayman tell the pregnant lady?*

*Ugh, this is terrible.

– October 15, 2013 11:17 AM
Q.

Tautology Club

The first rule of Tautology Club is that this is the first rule of Tautology Club.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

– October 15, 2013 11:18 AM
Q.

Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath?

He took 1/100th of the recommended poison.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

No, I didn't. Is he okay?

 

– October 15, 2013 11:19 AM
Q.

There are two types of people who like the two types of jokes

Those who obsessively fill in the rest of the joke in their heads
A.
Alexandra Petri :

WHO ARE THE OTHER KIND?

– October 15, 2013 11:20 AM
Q.

Scary Halloween costume

Dress all in red. Trick or treat about 30 mnutes after most people have stopped. When they answer the door, say "I'm your period. Sorry I'm late."
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Or, for the same effect with less of a Carrie factor, dress as a typewriter key and say you're a missed period.

– October 15, 2013 11:21 AM
Q.

Halloween costume

I'm a hipster, so I'm going as ironic detachment. My girlfriend is more serious, so she's dressing as moral ambiguity.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

UGHHHHHHH

Shouldn't you go as Earnest Investment? Or does your Earnest Investment costume turn into ironic detachment no matter what you do to it?

– October 15, 2013 11:22 AM
Q.

TED

Any chance of you doing a TED talk? What would it be about?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Undersea coffee farming, clearly!

It's the sort of thing that I think I'd get a kick out of doing but the initial hurdle of having to email them to announce that I Am Interesting has always given me pause.

– October 15, 2013 11:24 AM
Q.

I'm glad I'm not your waiter

Just sayin'.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Sorry, sorry! *rights table*

– October 15, 2013 11:24 AM
Q.

Google Glass - still using it?

Is the thrill gone, or are you using it regularly?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I'm using it... irregularly.

(in my head that sounded very Spock)

The trouble with it is that I've exhausted its possibilities within the home, and whenever you wear it out you get mobbed by people who have never seen it before and want to play, so you have to be in Human Interactive Tour mode and can't just be sneaking out of your apartment to buy kale in sweatpants.*

*I would never do this; this is an odd example.

– October 15, 2013 11:26 AM
Q.

I'm open to ideas

I'm a 50yo male who's determined to go to a party in female costume. I'm just not sure what to be. "Sexy {anything}" is out ~ that ship sailed in 1983.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I'm curious why it's 1983 specifically!

Hmm.

You could be Rosalind Franklin, spend the evening taking pictures, and then have other people at the party take credit for your work.

– October 15, 2013 11:28 AM
Q.

One obligatory reference (someone else can take the other obligatory reference)

Charlie Hunnan has been removed from the 50 Shades movie (thus completing the obligatory reference to books I have even read much less know about). It seems fans thought a biker could not play the role of a billionaire. I feel the need to explain to people what acting is. Charlie Hunnan is not the character he plays on TV. He is an actor. He actually is a British actor using an American accent on the show.I am sorry fans judged Charlie Hunnan by his current character. I do not know if he would have been good for the part of not, as I do not know the part, yet I believe he was judged for the wrong reasons. Frankly, I hope Eddie Deezen gets the role.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Yes, I saw this! Petitions do get results, or something!

I thought he was good in Pacific Rim!

Maybe they'll drum Matt Bomer in by force now.

– October 15, 2013 11:29 AM
Q.

Putin on the Ritz.

Shirtless Vladimir on a Ritz Cracker.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Is this a costume, or just a mental image you want to scar me with for life?

– October 15, 2013 11:29 AM
Q.

Halloween costumes

One Halloween I dressed as Groucho Marx. Everyone thought I was Gene Weingarten.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This is why the cigar is so crucial!

– October 15, 2013 11:30 AM
Q.

Alexandra Petri :

Oh, come now, is no one biting on Queen Victoria?

Q.

You don't have to be sneaking out of your apartment

If you're bold enough to know that kale in sweatpants is the best kind of kale--wave that flag high for all the world to see!
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Ooh, maybe I'll go as an unclear antecedent or dangling modifier this Halloween! I don't know how I'd pull it off, but it has to be better than Sexy Calvin Coolidge (last year's costume).

– October 15, 2013 11:32 AM
Q.

Acting

Unfortunately, Matt Bomer faces a similar obstacle as Hunnan. He's openly gay, and plenty of people (incorrectly) think that means he can't play a heterosexual romantic lead.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

But he's widely been considered a fan favorite for the part, by the apparently decent-sized horde of people who didn't realize the whole series was Twilight fanfiction and they should have been using Robert Pattinson.

– October 15, 2013 11:34 AM
Q.

Oh, come now, is no one biting on Queen Victoria?

Isn't that what killed Prince Albert?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I chuckled.

I thought it was the canning process that killed him.*

*This joke brought to you by Decades of Tradition.

– October 15, 2013 11:36 AM
Q.

Food Army

Duck Donuts opened to the public on Friday. It is located on Monticello Avenue in the former Starbucks location near Target. http://www.williamsburgmag.com/entertainment/va-vg-20131004,0,7485732.photogallery Dress like a duck. Maybe the govt will be open by Friday.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Why dress like a single duck? Dress like a duck DYNASTY!

Wait, this could be a good group costume! You could go as  soap opera ducks, or you could go as the Romanovs (also ducks).

– October 15, 2013 11:38 AM
Q.

FEMALE COSTUME

Dress as half Dorothy Kilgallen and half Arlene Francis and spend all night asking people probing questions about their jobs.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Ooh!

Or you could somehow contrive to lose your nose and run around shouting "ACK!" as a makeshift Cathy costume.

– October 15, 2013 11:39 AM
Q.

Curse you! (Or... thank you?)

I was about to start creating a debt ceiling costume, but now I can't since everyone will think I got the idea here! (On the other hand, maybe you stopped me from making an unfunny costume. I'll never know...)
A.
Alexandra Petri :

What was it going to entail, out of curiosity?

– October 15, 2013 11:40 AM
Q.

plenty of people (incorrectly) think that means he can't play a heterosexual romantic lead.

Correction: plenty of Americans. It's why Rupert Everett can only play The Gay Best Friend in American movies. Brits are refreshingly free of this stereotyping (which is why you see Great Big Movie Stars there performing in TV shows, on stage, etc.). Feh.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

But, I mean, Neil Caffrey is a heterosexual romantic lead. Is this just a big-budget movie perception?

Here's a petition: http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/alexis-bledel-matt-bomer-named-in-fifty-shades-of-grey-online-petition-for-recasting-201349

– October 15, 2013 11:43 AM
Q.

you could go as the Romanovs (also ducks).

Grand ducks. Or rather Muscovy ducks.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Muscovy ducks are great!

– October 15, 2013 11:44 AM
Q.

What am I going as for Halloween?

A pirate. One Halloween I bought a pirate costume, and every year it sits in my closet until Halloween rolls around and I have been completely unable to think of another costume, so I put it on. What do pirates wear on Halloween?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Maybe they go as -- huh.

If you looked like a pirate all the time, what would you do to dress up? Maybe they go as ninjas or zombies.

– October 15, 2013 11:47 AM
Q.

Petitions do get results, or something!

Imagine if Twitter had been around when Hugh Grant was cast in "Sense & Sensibility." And if Emma T had caved. We'd've missed a great performance.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

What great performance would we NOT have missed!

– October 15, 2013 11:47 AM
Q.

Costume idea for the 1983 guy

I'm 6-5, hairy everywhere but my head, and slightly overweight. My wife is 5-4 and stunning. We went as The Judds. All I had to do was wear a giant tunic and a red mullet wig, and she just had to bedazzle an old sweatshirt.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Awww.

– October 15, 2013 11:48 AM
Q.

Charlie Hunnam

I like to think he came to his senses.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I think it was a writer for the Daily Caller who quipped that he dropped out of the project after he read the book.

– October 15, 2013 11:48 AM
Q.

A Boehner canard

Go as Duck a l'orange.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Lot of orange Boehner costume suggestions in the chat. This always reminds me of the quip about Reagan that "Ronnie's not dying his hair... he's just prematurely orange."

– October 15, 2013 11:50 AM
Q.

BRITISH CELEBRITIES

Actually, the British have a real knack for conserving and recycling their celebrities, it seems. That's why American pop stars whose moment has passed are allowed to slide into booze-soaked irrelevance, while members of British groups from long ago like the keyboard player from Squeeze and the singer from Spandau Ballet have been repurposed into radio and TV hosts over there.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

*sniffs derisively* Well, it's a smaller country.

– October 15, 2013 11:52 AM
Q.

"Ronnie's not dying his hair... he's just prematurely orange."

And he was a long time dying, if not dyeing. And have people forgotten Strom Thurmond's Tang-colored hair?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Oh, zag, misspelled that one.

Is it sad that my initial response to this was, "Mm, Tang!"

– October 15, 2013 11:54 AM
Q.

the quip about Reagan that "Ronnie's not dying his hair... he's just prematurely orange."

That was Gerald Ford's line.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I know but part of the Ford mystique is that nothing cool ever gets attributed to him.

– October 15, 2013 11:54 AM
Q.

Fight Club

The first rule of fight club is..wait, I can't talk about that. Never mind.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Heh, I see what you did there!

– October 15, 2013 11:57 AM
Q.

Roles

Is 50 Shades an American or a British film or what? People write how the British are most willing to accept actors in different types of roles. Yet Charlie Hunnan is British. Thus the Brits would accept him. Of course, we Americans believe billionaires should be manly, masculine people, like Bill Gates.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

And Zuckerberg, who, if I had to describe him in five words, is "98 Pounds... Of Raw Man."

– October 15, 2013 11:58 AM
Q.

If Gerald said interesting things

he'd be a Lincoln, not a Ford.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. He might be a Mercury.

– October 15, 2013 11:59 AM
Q.

BRITISH CELEBRITY RECYCLING

I think they have to stay in the UK for the celebrity recycling to be available, though. The singer from A Flock of Seagulls lives in Florida now, which must be why he went bald.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Also, British Celebrity Recycling seems like a mild-mannered game show that would be really popular on BBC America.

– October 15, 2013 12:00 PM
Q.

Bacon and Tang

If you could be in a large room with nothing but bacon and Tang,,,,,wait, you are not even going to listen to rest of this question, are you?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

NOPE

– October 15, 2013 12:00 PM
Q.

Pirates

They dress as businessmen, merchants, and government functionaries.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This makes sense!

And as "conservative dressers," for the ladies.

– October 15, 2013 12:00 PM
Q.

Pirates on Halloween

They wear frock coats, as they are all noblemen who have gone wrong.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

HA HA HA GILBERT AND SULLIVAN JOKES ARE ALWAYS TOPICAL! Well played, stranger! Sorry for the apprenticeship mix-up!

– October 15, 2013 12:02 PM
Q.

Alexandra Petri :

I'm sorry, the typed laughter in that last response sounded very unnatural.

Q.

Could go as one of Miley Cyrus' bears

When else would you get to dress as a bear with a foam finger?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

The correct response is "never."

Then again, if you want an equally creepy bear costume, there's always...

– October 15, 2013 12:03 PM
Q.

HALLOWEEN COSTUME CHAT!

Go as Dame Violet, Maggie Smith's character in "Downton Abbey."
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Or, if you're really bold, go as Dame Violet jumping a shark.

– October 15, 2013 12:03 PM
Q.

Great Fifty Shades costume

https://www.facebook.com/HuffPostComedy
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Whole list's worth a look: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/14/clever-halloween-costumes_n_4097087.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000008 Guy in a hurricane reminds me of my college roommate who dressed up as Person Buffeted By Strong Wind one year, which turned out to be the circle of Dante's Inferno reserved for the lustful.

– October 15, 2013 12:07 PM
Q.

Just wondering

I overheard someone using the expression "gander of salt". I guess this person likes her duck very salty?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Two ganders were walking down the street. One was a salted... gander.

– October 15, 2013 12:08 PM
Q.

Pirates on Halloween

Dress as Tom Hanks playing Captain Phillips.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Oh, snap!

– October 15, 2013 12:08 PM
Q.

Dame Violet, Maggie Smith's character in "Downton Abbey."

Excuse me, I believe you mean Violet, Lady Grantham, as played by Dame Maggie Smith. "Dame Violet" would be the female equivalent of "Sir Elton" John.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Wow, someone still watches Downton!

No, seriously, good note.

– October 15, 2013 12:09 PM
Q.

What I do

I tell people I am arriving at their Halloween dressed as Lady Sybil and then I don't show up.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

STILL TOO SOON

– October 15, 2013 12:10 PM
Q.

The Romanovs - I like it

I finally get to wear white tie and tails with the family silver down my shirt.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Practical, yet dressy!

– October 15, 2013 12:10 PM
Q.

And now for the other obligatory reference

How does one make a soylent green Halloween costume?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

So Queen Victoria said to the single capon who had sat down beside her, "We are not a mews!"

 

 

 

get it because a mews is according to wikipedia the collective noun for a group of capons so this is a great joke right great jokes require explanations at the bottom that's the classic way of denoting a great joke you can really tell you nailed it when you need a foot or end note that's basically some Twain-level grandeur right there that we all just witnessed together I'M SORRY I'M SO SORRY

– October 15, 2013 12:13 PM
Q.

I skipped work one halloween

And said I was there in my "Invisible Man" costume.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This sounds like it worked better than my effort to claim I was part of the Emperor's New Workforce.

– October 15, 2013 12:15 PM
Q.

Help

I need help remember a song. Its a dance song, you know, with the words "night" and "over" in it. You know.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I could have helped you if the second word were "all," but "over"-- I just don't know.

– October 15, 2013 12:15 PM
Q.

See I love the Fight Club jokes

Because every time my husband (a district attorney) says he has grand jury, I tell him "The first rule of grand jury is don't talk about grand jury," because quite frankly that I all I have learned about the legal system over the course of his career. But he just rolls his eyes and tells me how that joke is far too old, but here it is still up-to-date and topical. Thank you.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I wish I were a barometer of what is up-to-date and topical, because then pop culture would be completely replaced by miniseries about World War I Dudes Who Were Just Bros and Victor Hugo Rants About Things For Half An Hour. 

Actually, pop culture is good the way it is.

– October 15, 2013 12:19 PM
Q.

The Romanovs

Will Nicholas and Alexandra's hemophiliac son Nicky have fake blood to spurt? Who gets to go as Rasputin?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

That's the whole point of going as Nicky!

Rasputin could also be a fun combo costume if you want to be up-to-date and political.

– October 15, 2013 12:20 PM
Q.

Bikers

They all seem sad, like lost pirates who want to get back to the sea but can't. Maybe we need conversion kits. Turn your bike into a jetski?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I really like the visual of a jetski gang.

– October 15, 2013 12:21 PM
Q.

Song title

If the reader said it had the words "knight" and "oeuvre" in it, I could have helped.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I like my artists like I like my eggs: oeuvre easy!

"BOOO GET OFF THE STAGE BOOOO"

The great thing about Halloween season is, hey, maybe that booing's not a heckler! Maybe it's a ghost!

*gets dragged away by ghost-hook*

 

– October 15, 2013 12:24 PM
Q.

The Jetski Gang

Battled the Sharkski Gang.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I feel like this comment has attained the pinnacle of chat. 30 arbitrary chat points, you!

– October 15, 2013 12:25 PM
Q.

N&A's son

His name was Alexi.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

This serves me right for not Googling.

I mean, "You know, but he was Nicky to his friends! Alexi "Nicky" the Hemophiliac! Boy, that kid had some nicknames!"

*dragged offstage by ghost hook to be poisoned, shot, and drowned by a gang of conspirators*

– October 15, 2013 12:26 PM
Q.

My costume

I'm a masochist. I am dressing for Halloween as a member of Congress.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Wow, you really are a masochist.

– October 15, 2013 12:27 PM
Q.

Squeeze keyboard

Wow, a Jools Holland reference. Yes, we in the Compost are more than over-educated English majors; we are international trivia masters as well !
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Yes, that must be it. That is what we are.

– October 15, 2013 12:28 PM
Q.

Pittsburgh, PA.

So what do pirates wear on Halloween? Certainly NOT St. Louis Cardinals' uniforms (it still hurts)
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Maybe regular cardinals' uniforms? Nice and eminent...

– October 15, 2013 12:29 PM
Q.

Those who forget history

After the conclusion of what is now known as World War I, a Treaty was signed amongst all the nations at war. Congressional Republicans refused to grant President Wilson permission to sign the Treaty. Most analysts believe it was not the Treaty they objected to yet they wished to embarrass the Democratic President Woodrow Wilson. Congress did not give the President permission to sign the Treaty until the next President, Warren Harding, was elected. Harding signed the Treaty which ironically was long after defeated Germany had already signed. I am glad this lesson in history has been noted and will never happen again.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Yes, thank you for repeating that bit of history so we don't have to!

– October 15, 2013 12:30 PM
Q.

the Sharkski Gang

Did they hide in the hutch?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Okay, this is spiraling out of control, now.

– October 15, 2013 12:31 PM
Q.

Thanks to the shutdown, I now know what my retirement will be like

Eat breakfast, putter, correct the Internet, wait for my 11 am ComPost Live. Will you still be here when I retire?
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I like "putter" and "correct the Internet" as hobbies.

If "puttering" is in your repertoire already, maybe I will be here in time for you to retire, God willing and the creek don't rise.

– October 15, 2013 12:34 PM
Q.

TRIVIA MASTERS

I always want to go on Jeopardy! but I don't think I could handle the stress of knowing I only get one shot and can never come back ever again ever if I don't win.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Do it! It's not life-destroying!

CUT TO:

FLASHBACK of Petri alarming patrons in an airport bar by shouting "DAN BROWN! OF COURSE DAN BROWN! YOU ALL KNOW WHO DAN BROWN IS, DON'T YOU?" taking six pickle shots in quick succession, beginning to sing "Danny Boy."

CUT ABRUPTLY BACK to Petri smiling and trying to look self-possessed as she types: "Besides, I think you can go back when Trebek goes, so what do you have to lose?"

 

huh, lots of stage directions in this chat

– October 15, 2013 12:38 PM
Q.

N&A's son -- His name was Alexi.

Nobody likes a smart Alexi.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Booooo

Okay, I can leave now, I no longer hold the mantle of Most Abysmal Pun In The Chat So Far. You might say, I'm dismantled!

...whoops, no, it's back

– October 15, 2013 12:40 PM
Q.

Are you sure you aren't the Highlander?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/mews has: Mews - stable for horses, 1394; collection of hawks moulting, or hens and capons fattening. [From the cage for hawks when mewing or moulting, 1386.]
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Okay, I've got another venery joke! (The highwayman said stand and deliver, but you knew that.)

Why do programmers love hedgehogs?

– October 15, 2013 12:44 PM
Q.

Costume

I am going to Halloween dressed as a fox. That way, any time anyone asks if I have anything to say, it will all be downhill from there.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

YATTA DAAATA DAATA CHOW YAATA DAAATA

– October 15, 2013 12:45 PM
Q.

Costume idea

dress as a clock. you can be a grandfather.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Or dress as an orange dressed as a clock! You won't be a grandfather, but if anyone plays Beethoven to you, you can start vomiting uncontrollably.

– October 15, 2013 12:47 PM
Q.

clocks

Is there a shutdown clock showing the time of the shutdown? The clock is running.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Speaking of running clocks, I should probably run shortly! Last call!

– October 15, 2013 12:48 PM
Q.

gay and romantic lead

We've made progress but still more to go. Neil Patrick Harris is accepted as woman-chasing Barney, but that's comedy, not a Harlequin romance type movie.
Q.

Power of Positive Drinking

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:10er_Pack_%C3%96ufi_Bier.jpg I did too much (negative) drinking.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Don't forget the Year of Magical Drinking.

– October 15, 2013 12:49 PM
Q.

Is this just a big-budget movie perception?

Yes. It's the Dilbert factor -- the larger the organization, the stupider its decisions.
A.
Alexandra Petri :

Because they come in arrays!

 

– October 15, 2013 12:50 PM
Q.

"dress as an orange dressed as a clock"

Or dress as "A Clockwork Orange"!
A.
Alexandra Petri :

That might be simpler for getting the point across.

And on that note, have a splendid remainder of the Tuesday, join me on Twitter, and keep reading the Compost, God willing and the debt ceiling do rise.

– October 15, 2013 12:51 PM
Q.

You made me Google it

Because they come in an array? (Although I'm partial to a hodgepodge of hedgehogs)
A.
Alexandra Petri :

I blame Wikipedia for everything.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_collective_nouns

– October 15, 2013 12:52 PM
Q.

 

A.
Host: