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In my hypothetical alternative version of the song, there's a line about "Imagine all the people... writing positive comments on your piece." It doesn't quite scan, but it fits with the general theme of "inaccurate visions of a nicer future."

On the contrary, the largest beasts of them all remains in the stable: entitlement reforms, the federal debt, the tax code, immigration and climate change.   I have a new sense of optimism.  But maybe you're right and there is something wrong with me.  What kind of illness causes this irrational optimism?

Luckily I have overcome my lactose intolerance.  In fact, maybe it is the recovery from lactose intolerance that is causing my irrational exhuberance.

I'll have to check that out. So far my only encounter with Tolstoy has been "The Death of Ivan Ilyich." The title was sort of a spoiler.

LUUUUUUUUKE.

I hope that what he means by this is that he was born in a file cabinet, because that could generate some serious excitement!

Maybe he just figured that since the president is entitled to throw out the first pitch at baseball games, even if the pitch is way off and terrible, he was entitled to do the inverse and throw out a political statement, which happened to be wildly misinformed.

Otherwise, Go O's!

Before the White House's Christmas party for the press on Tuesday, I was trying to convince my six-year-old to ask President Obama if he was born in Kenya.   Instead she wound up talking with the president and the first lady about her Uggs.

Ellsberg should see a psychiatrist!

The Pentagon Papers had journalistic value because it exposed that the government was lying.   The Wikileaks dump had only the purpose of damaging the United States and undermining our diplomacy.   It showed that, in secret, our diplomats are doing exactly what they should be doing -- being candid with each other.

Or maybe I'm just jealous because Wikileaks collaborated with the Times.

I believe that, hidden in this question somewhere, is the secret to life, the universe, and everything.

I have so many questions. First, how do you bury a barn? What? Who are these people you are talking about? I googled "Patrick Springs funny farm", but all I found was this, which makes me think this was a metaphor, but I honestly have no idea.

Also, what?

I believe my civil action outside of last year's Christmas party (I picketed because I wasn't invited) resulted in my invitation this year.  It was all suspiciously easy.  But now that I think about it, since the party on Tuesday night I have written two columns in defense of Obama, and I am feeling irrationally optimistic.  You suppose they slipped something in my eggnog?

I would definitely do both of those things.

But I would also look into my past and really examine my memories, keeping in mind the question: Is it possible that I've been living a reality show, Truman-like, for my entire existence? If so, how do I proceed?

I think my first move if I ever discovered that I'd been on a reality show without knowing it would be to make a lot of customized merchandise around my catchphrases. And to come up with some catchphrases, ideally ones that were long and sort of unwieldy, like "Sign me up for that mailing list!" or "I have an uncle who once went through something similar!"

Have some eggnog!

Turns out it was the Mad Hatter's Tea Party all along. 

Alexandra Petri likes this.

I think that was #12.

I concur. Otherwise almost anything becomes fair game. Unless the fact that it's an anniversary is itself tragic, and I can't think of an example of that.

That's exactly what Paul Ryan said in explaining why he wasn't backing the debt commission proposal: He'd rather "accentuate the differences" between the two parties in 2012.    If we're all about making distinctions every four years, we'll never get anything done, because no party will become so dominant that it can unilaterally impose its agenda.   So I'd rather have fewer "distinctions" and more agreements.

She will if I have anything to do with it.

I think she'll run. And I can picture her winning the nomination if the Republican party decides it wants to optimize itself for search.

There was some great, moving, black-and-white footage of her with her father talking about the lessons she'd learned at the end of "Sarah Palin's Alaska" this weekend that I assume she can just take bodily and use as an ad.

This reminds me of something else that stuck out in the episode but I couldn't work into my piece: her father referred to her as "My daughter, Sarah Palin," throughout the episode. Not Sarah, "Sarah Palin." It was almost like he'd heard that saying "Sarah Palin" a lot was a good way to attract viewers.

Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin.

Salmonella!  Now you've got me thinking the White House was trying to kill me.   Still, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.  Hence my exuberance and optimism today.

You forgot one: installing the Prince of Pork as chairman of the appropriations committee.

Thank you for questionizing, but I must refudiate.  After years of efforts to make English the only language used in America, I think it's terrific that people such as Sarah Palin are introducing other languages to the national discourse.

President Obama, I am honored that you have taken the time out of your schedule to join us for the chat today. What's this about an air force base?

It really is true that everything you need to know, you learn in Kindergarten.

Except of course economics. And The Craft.

I hope not!

As an avid reader of the comics page, I know exactly what you're talking about, and that comic strip always terrified me. For years, I made a point of reading every strip (including and especially Mark Trail!) but I always skipped Zippy after a frightening incident with a giant clown-bear-entity appearing in the last panel to comment on consumer culture. At least I think that's what it was doing. Zippy was always a little too meta for me, or whatever the appropriate adjective is.

I am all for a vexatious president. But once he starts poisoning people with eggnog at White House Christmas parties, I think he will have gone too far.

Enjoy the weekend, dear reader, and thanks for chatting.

On a somewhat related note, this eggnog thread really makes me wish I'd been at that party.

As someone who's never played All-Gone, I first thought it sounded like a vaguely ominous euphemism, especially in association with the concept of  "dead reckoning." But a cursory Google proved me wrong, and it sounds like it's come in handy.

Intriguing circulation pun...

The cup my coffee came in this morning infomed me that I should "Donate Blood-- You Have Plenty," which I thought was sort of presumptuous, especially coming from a coffee cup.

I feel like I've read this on a sign somewhere.

Well, now I've got a plan for the evening! Dana won't know what he's missing.

Yes.

I still don't know if it's snowing. I'm going to go do some old-fashioned reporting on this question and bid you all adieu for the week!

Keep reading, follow me/Dana/Compost on Twitter, and see you next week!