Live Q&As

I'm here, I'm here! Patience is a virtue! It is also the 843rd most popular female baby name of 2011, according to the Social Security Administration!

This is great!

Here's cats as fonts!

Yeah, and for some reason what feels like everyone I follow on Twitter has independently concluded that this is The Story.

Either that or Marina Keegan's now-famous essay about potential. And if that spoke to you or made you sad, read this piece of hers from September which is absolutely gorgeous and resonant and will ruin your day.

No? Captain America and Iron Man both seemed capable of making it work!

Although, as someone on Twitter quipped, I wanted to see the montage where they explained to Captain America the progress of civil rights over the past 60 years.

What's yours?

I know! I'm sorry!

In meme years, we're all dead now!

Explain yourself!

That's two overs and no explanation, unless the rabbits are an explanation on some level I'm missing!

Aha, reasoning!

I think that puts us at 3:1 over.

Do that.

Please. You can't unlearn about it.

Ooh, I didn't notice!

Given that my picture makes me look sort of like a norn, an ageless, timeless being seldom courted for television appearances, I would say he has nothing to worry about.

My favorite part of this comment is the theory that "We may have just scared it to death through attention."

That's going to be my new putative cause of death for sensational passings from now on.

That also works!

ASDFJKLFARB I KNOW, I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HANDLE IT, it's like THE RING of news stories. I feel mildly better now that I've passed it along.

That's 4:2, including your husband in the count!

5:2. And a rationale!

HA

+10.

Everyone hates Comic Sans.

This rabbbit expresses my feelings better than I could.

Exactly!

6:2, but you made a good point!

Yeah, I think so.

And if we're wrong, I think Florida Public Libraries are finally allowing the book there, which is -- progress, I guess.

This is what happens when we lose the shaming effect of actually having to display book covers when reading on the subway! The slippery slope from this to just straight shots of online fanfiction is -- well, I think this book began as a Twilight fanstory, to be completely honest.

I don't know if I'm reassured or terrified by the thought that all the people with ereaders on buses and airplanes are reading fairly graphic tales of people in grey ties with oddly specific requests. But  I want someone to write a parody called 50 Shades of Black and White or 25 Shades of Grey that is deeply un-erotic fiction where, I don't know, people keep kneeing each other in the chin and apologizing, or something. Just 50 chapters of that.

6:3, I think!

Although people who post ads online asking for anthropophagous comradeship tend to pull out at the last minute because they are more excited by the idea of telling strangers on the internet that they have really delicious kidneys than actually going through with it. 

As is often the case on the Internet, actually. 

As long as you brought up Ann Landers, here is by far my favorite column of hers:

Our social life has always been rather quiet. Our only close friends are

``Bernice`` and ``Murray.`` They come over quite often and join Louise in a rousing chorus of ``Lady of Spain.`` Murray plays his head-that is, he raps his knuckles on his head while opening and closing his mouth, which produces changes in tone. Bernice clacks two spoons together and hums the harmony.

Ann, I`ve had about all I can take of this. How can I tell my wife after so many years that she is no musician and the racket is driving me crazy? Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated.

Had It on Long Island

Dear Long Island: You`ve been truly wonderful. Please don`t blow 30 years of sainthood by losing your temper.

Surprise Louise with a dozen accordion lessons and several pieces of sheet music. Sorry, but I can`t think of a thing you can do about Bernice and Murray.

All women become their mothers, Wilde said. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

I killed a cactus once, just to show it that I wasn't turning into my mother. I didn't mean to kill it, I'm just terrible with plants, and she meets plants at the grocery store and suddenly they want to impress her by flowering solidly for several years and grafting themselves everywhere and winning blue ribbons from passersby. It's very impressive, if a bit terrifying.  But on the other hand I'm better at making bad puns.

There you have it, folks!

I never know how much credence to lend to all these stories of Sensational Substances The Kids Are All Doing These Days. Bath salts? Purell? Hand sanitizer? I feel as though there are numerous other substances around the home that people would get into before you got around to trying to build a still for Purell. But maybe that proves I'm hopelessly unhip and out of touch.

Well, if Ive learned one thing in this chat, it's that my chatters are overwhelmingly pro-over.

I guess that's an interesting demographic statement?

Conflicting views on whether cats have more difficulty with under or over! I thought over would be more conducive to cat-astrophe, but it seems as though your cats would differ!

That's two for "over, so the place will more closely resemble a hotel!"

I guess they figure you'll never stop needing to use toilet paper, so you might as well invest! I think if you buy just a single roll or four, you wind up on some sort of watch list.

Double drat!

Man, you don't see that many people with the last name Steed anymore. Or Peel, for that matter.

I was actually contemplating that!

Capulets or Montagues? Paper or plastic? Newt Gingrich or Stephen Douglas?

50 Shades of Gray Lady?

I for one welcome our new rabbit overlords!

If the POPE's BUTLER isn't the world's most trustworthy human being, then is everything a lie?

"When the kids started flying around the house" is great!

There are so many side inconveniences to dating a superhero that films are only beginning to touch on! Do you tell the in-laws? There are only so many times you can come up with an excuse other than "yeah, he's battling a giant sewer lizard to save the city" before they begin to suspect he just doesn't like them.

How?

You just sold me on it. Sean Connery controlling the weather is exactly what the doctor ordered, if only because I am picturing the Celebrity Jeopardy! Sean Connery who would make the clouds all resemble obscene bits of anatomy.

I think the new score reads

Cats 3: Toilet Paper 0.

I am so, so sorry. Is there anything I can do to -- uh, Michael, what's another way of saying "save face," because that is definitely not the right turn of phrase for this situation.

Win.

Truth.

These days, everyone leaves records of themselves. To the strange extent that we all live our lives in public, there's usually at least a facebook page or a Twitter or sometimes a blog. People in general are less anonymous than they used to be. But in Marina's case there is a real amassed collection of beautifully expressed thoughts and record of her battle against the kind of apocalyptic thinking that tends to take over as you graduate college. It's strangely wonderful that so many people now get to discover her voice. But it's wrenching that it's because we won't hear it again.

And on that note, have a great week! Stick close to the killer rabbits. Feel free but unobligated to follow me on Twitter, and keep reading the Compost!