Welcome to the chat! For people whose idea of fun is "refighting the culture wars," this has been a fun week or two! I guess that means the economy must be better, or something.
Meanwhile, Rick Santorum is sliding ever-closer to accidentally comparing someone to Hitler.
Also, this morning, I had some two-month-old eggs for breakfast (Mom, if you're reading this chat, I swear that I'm a fully functional adult capable of taking care of myself!), so like everyone else discussing the issue, I now have strong opinions about what you should do with your eggs. Also, I have come up with a new definition of wisdom, which is: Googling "should I eat these eggs" rather than "should I have eaten those eggs." So what I'm saying is, make those questions count!
You're not on the home page's sked, and you're not in the Tuesday's Sessions sidebar that appears on any chat transcript page (even your own). This happens EVERY WEEK.
Alexandra Petri :
I'm trying to avoid becoming too mainstream. Think of this as the speakeasy of chats...
– February 21, 2012 11:29 AM
The radio today told me (and I listen to whatever the voices on the radio tell me to do) that if I fast every other day I will live longer, be smarter, throw a football further, although I will be really, really hungry for half my life.
Does anyone know if this study is a sound one and if fasting (actually, I believe they stated limiting yourself to 500 and under calories every other day) is a good idea, or not? I fear (not for myself) that this study may lead to more cases of anoerexia, yet, besides that, I retain my original question: Good idea, or ignore?
Alexandra Petri :
Hmm.
Well, people have been fasting for a while. From Jesus (known for his Hail Mary-throwing ability) on down to the present, it's a good way to stay svelte and show the British colonial occupiers what's what. There's something called the Daniel Fast, where you eat only fruits, vegetables, and water, which doesn't really sound like a fast. That just sounds like "eating" to me.
But of course there's a trade-off, because in exchange for all the fasting powers, you have to give up food, even for a short time, something that has always been beyond my capacity. I once gave up ice cream for Lent, but only after my pastor informed me that for Episcopalians, Sundays were considered "feast days" when Lent wasn't mandatory.
– February 21, 2012 11:40 AM
If you are not familiar with that address, that was the address of what may have been the last speakeasy. It seems word did not get out that Prohibition had ended, and this speakeasy continued to keep its residential appearance with no commercial signage through the 2000s. Sadly, it closed a few years ago, perhaps the last victim of this Prohibition shame, or maybe they just went out of business due to the economy.
Alexandra Petri :
Or maybe they're still there and just haven't told you...
– February 21, 2012 11:40 AM
Why is birth control/reproductive rights such a hot button issue in this election year?
Alexandra Petri :
That's a good question. The article we have right now does a good job of pointing out what the debate is and how it's become an unwieldy national discussion, but I'm not sure why it flared up like this, all of a sudden. Some more cynical than I have suggested that it means the economy's doing better, the way your aged relatives' yelling at you about needing to Find a Man and Do Something With Your Life indicates that their rheumatism is doing better. It's like the old saying -- if you have your health, you worry about money; if you have money, you worry about your sex life; if you have a sex life, you worry about your legacy; if you have a legacy, you worry about how you're Hugh Hefner, or something. I don't know.
But some might suggest contraception falls into the health category, in which case it's a primary concern, rather than the sex life category, in which case this is a distraction.
– February 21, 2012 11:44 AM
The Post website suggested I ask you about the Redskins Defense. Should I?
Alexandra Petri :
Yes!
But I will have no idea what to tell you about it, other than it's probably not going to get them to Wimbledon this year. They never seem to make it to Wimbledon.
– February 21, 2012 11:45 AM
I submit Edith Wilson, who volunteered during WWI at the Red Cross canteen at our own Union Station. Soldiers passing by on their way to Europe were treated to a lecture on the dangers of VDs they might encounter. By VD, Edith of course mean Venn Diagrams.
Alexandra Petri :
My blog is heavily infested with VD in that case. Eugh.
I actually once wrote a paper on the Progressive Initiatives with regard to the World-War-I-bound soldiers, of which the gist was that, with the army, the Progressives finally had a large group of people to whom they could show Improving Hygienic Slide Shows and Quality Entertainments and instruct generally in the ways of Civic Virtue, so that when the war ended so quickly after the US entry it was rather disappointing for them and the movement never quite recovered.
– February 21, 2012 11:48 AM
I read your article over the weekend. Glad to see you got the Republican-mandated sufficient sex-ed. Where did you learn the world isn't flat?
Alexandra Petri :
It isn't?
Well, this is awkward. Next you'll be telling me I should be seeking fulfillment outside the home.
– February 21, 2012 11:49 AM
In his efforts to restore the US to the 19th century, how long do you predict before Rick Santorum calls for repeal of the 19th Amendment, on a variety of grounds including women's "emotional" natures? (After all, it used to be thought that women's men-folk voted for them). Given Barack Obama's improved polling with single women, this could be just the boost that Santorum needs in order to win!
Alexandra Petri :
I was about to say, at the rate he and his ideas are polling among the Petticoat Despots, a 19th-amendment repeal would be a pretty savvy move on Santorum's part.
He could always suggest that it wasn't women's emotional natures that he was worried about -- after all, after the front-lines comment, he noted that he was talking about the effect of women's presence on front-line men. Rather, the mere presence of women in voting booths, with their visible ankles and tendency to emit pheromones, so overcomes their male counterparts that they become incoherent, resulting in pregnant chads, hanging chads, and dozens of votes for Vermin Supreme.
– February 21, 2012 11:52 AM
Did Rick Santorum REALLY say that schools are "anachronistic" and that parents should home-school their children? Consider that many parents are less well educated than teachers, wouldn't this constitute some sort of regression-to-the-norm in our society? OTOH, at least it could produce a generation ignorant enough to keep voting for Santorum and his sort.
Alexandra Petri :
From what I've found about his "anachronistic" comments, it seems as though folks are being unfair. The idea that local and state school systems tend to have a better grasp on what the needs of their students are than the Federal Government makes a good deal of sense, and I think it's that, not exclusively home-schooling, that he was advocating. But maybe there are other quotes I'm missing.
– February 21, 2012 11:57 AM
If they make a movie about this especially entertaining primary season, ala Primary Colors, who do you think will be cast as the different candidates? Will Lucas really let Jabba the Hut out of his contract for the performance of a lifetime as Newt?
Alexandra Petri :
I think it's only fair. Jabba is to George as Johnny Depp seems to be to Tim Burton -- stuck in a series of decreasingly good films because of a close personal friendship. But this time he needs to put his foot down. Er, his large, slug-like tail down.
– February 21, 2012 11:58 AM
I don't know how many comments/questions you are going to get today as this chat is not showing on the front page of the Post's website. Somebody really needs to work on that homepage.
Alexandra Petri :
Let's make like an indie band and pretend we're unpopular on purpose.
Then someday in the bright and distant future, when all the moons align and the chat winds up prominently displayed on the home page next to a large and flattering picture of me doing something plucky, we can all sneer and adjust our plaid ensembles and mutter about how I've sold out.
– February 21, 2012 12:00 PM
I am not making this up! Did you know there's now a movement trying to undo Galileo's work re heliocentrism? See, "Some Catholics seek to counter Galileo /Splinter group says the Earth, not the sun, is, indeed, at the center of the universe" Link: http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2011-07-04/news/ct-met-galileo-was-wrong-20110704_1_modern-church-universe-splinter-group
Alexandra Petri :
Whoa! I want to go and talk to them, but I worry that they'd burn me at the stake.
Then again as someone who believes Han shot first, I understand the yearning to return to a simpler time before all this heliocentric revisionism...
I love the quote at the end.
– February 21, 2012 12:05 PM
I just adopted two cats--wild, gangly adolescent males-and would be happy for some photo tips, but that tweet link was unhelpful.
Alexandra Petri :
Yeah, I'm confused, although I was disturbed and intrigued by the Cat Hair Crafts Products showcased on the far right.
– February 21, 2012 12:05 PM
Agreed, but didn't he also advocate pulling all state funding?
Alexandra Petri :
Details, details...
Besides, money confuses people. If the money vs. performance of DC public schools for several decades has suggested anything, it is that maybe the less money you give a school system, the better it will do. The inverse doesn't seem to be working...
– February 21, 2012 12:08 PM
When you talk about not selling out, you've officially sold out.
Alexandra Petri :
"Is there some way I can arrange to sell out?" = you are still very much undiscovered.
– February 21, 2012 12:09 PM
But Alex, Santorum also slammed STATE (not just Federal) involvement in education in his comments this past weekend to the Ohio Christian Alliance.
Alexandra Petri :
I thought this might be one of those vintage Santorum confusions we've heard so much about, but reading it again (and his subsequent defense) makes it sound as though he wants it to be just a matter between parents and the local school district. And that is, to say the least, a much more difficult case to make than the getting-federal-government-out-of-schooling case.
– February 21, 2012 12:13 PM
Any thoughts you'd like to share on the Virginia's legislature attempts to forcibly insert medical wands into Virginians' vaginas?
Alexandra Petri :
One of my favorite humorous things to happen in Virginia lately was the state senator who attempted to introduce a requirement that men who sought Viagra undergo a rectal examination and cardiac stress test, just for gender equity purposes. As she points out, if it's really a health concern...
– February 21, 2012 12:15 PM
Over the past weekend I heard a Republican candidate for Maryland State Senate claim that the annual cost of birth control equated the cost of toothpaste for the same period. He said insurance covering birth control was the same thing as men getting free toothpaste. My girlfriend was unhappy with his comparison, but it made me wonder; do you think men could petition for toothpaste to be covered by insurance?
Alexandra Petri :
Who spends $600 annually on toothpaste?
– February 21, 2012 12:16 PM
Any comment on those leaked documents from the Heartland Institute, the ones that show them actively scheming to teach kids to doubt global warming? My favorite part is their mysterious "Anonymous Donor." Who could it be? Rupert Murdoch? Al Gore's evil goatee-wearing mirror-universe counterpart?
Alexandra Petri :
Hmm.
This is inadvertently turning into Benefit Of The Doubt Tuesday.
I read Megan McArdle's pieces wondering if it were real, which managed to sow just enough doubt that I can't quite cackle and point yet. In general, people are so much more often incompetent than actively malevolent that whenever a Devious Internal Memo Plotting Out Dastardly Mind-Control surfaces, I feel a bit skeptical. But that could be the eggs talking.
– February 21, 2012 12:21 PM
Why has Santorum failed to address the very real problem in this country which impacts us all- That being the masturbation issue? Just because it doesn't roll off the tongue in the same way that Abortion, Contraception and Sterilization do, it doesn't mean that we should fail our children and our children's children by just kicking the can further down the road. Do we want to become a nation of blind, hairy-palmed, Obama-liberal, radical Muslims? Where are the true social conservatives these days? Perhaps a greater emphasis on the issues that matter might be achieved if another, more zealous candidate were to emerge in 2012.
Alexandra Petri :
Talk about destroying life! The carnage is incredible.
Then again, I think Orwell's whole 1984 world had constant sexual frustration as one of its undergirding principles, so I worry about what would happen if we shut this road down altogether. Maybe Santorum et al (this Al is always butting into things) should have thought about that before they started this one...
But hey, this is as good a time as any to make that old Dorothy Parker joke.
Why did she call her canary Onan?
– February 21, 2012 12:25 PM
Do you think this would work equally well for the Washington Post management with respect to its journalists?
Alexandra Petri :
Er.
Forget I said anything.
– February 21, 2012 12:25 PM
Seriously, have you looked at your neighbors? You really think they are the best determiners of what is best for your children? If that is the case, the children in my neighborhood will have a strong background in leaving cars with engine parts missing on the front lawn.
Alexandra Petri :
Yes, but as someone who's visited the post office ever, I'm not any more sanguine about what will happen to the kids with the government in charge. They'll be really good at causing things to arrive slowly and dented, and at locking the office right before I get there with a very important package.
– February 21, 2012 12:28 PM
From your earlier answer "The idea that local and state school systems tend to have a better grasp on what the needs of their students are than the Federal Government makes a good deal of sense..." So why not extend that out to things like civil rights, etc.? Why should the federal guvmint be able to tell any locality what to do on ANYTHING??!! Obviously local would be better, especially if the local board is dominated by some motivated ignorants who want to get rid of evolution, climate change, and heliocentrism. Makes a good deal of sense to someone I guess, but not me.
Alexandra Petri :
Well, leaving geocentrism out of it (as I'm glad we've been able to do since about the 16th century), I think I might have bent too far in the opposite direction. Obviously, you need some national standards to prevent the kind of motivated ignorants who worry you from taking things down terrible paths. That being said, I think there's a compromise to be struck between Deranged Locals Insisting That Everyone Be Taught That We Came From The Sun and Riding Roughshod Over Local School Boards And Parents Who After All Have A Large Stake In Their Kids' Education, If Only Because They Have To Sit There And Shake Their Heads While The Kids Wikipedia Things.
– February 21, 2012 12:35 PM
You see, when presented a "fact" used by a Republican candidate for Maryland State Senate (birth control cost equals toothpaste cost), you made the mistake of applying the well know media liberal bias by interpreting "fact" to mean something true and provable. "Facts" are really just ignorant statements made ti reinforce your personal religion that you want to foist on others. Please don't make this mistake again!
Alexandra Petri :
Right, right.
Speaking of which, have you seen the Doonesbury series on Custom Facts? Brilliant stuff.
– February 21, 2012 12:35 PM
If a guy didn't use toothpaste, then it's highly unlikely that he'd be in any sort of "position" to father a child. Maybe that's what the candidate was saying.
Alexandra Petri :
Ha!
"Because he spilled his seed on the ground" was the riddle answer, by the way.
– February 21, 2012 12:36 PM
They can make masturbation illegal but then we'll have more back-alley masturbations. And I'll say I'll stop masturbating when they pry it from my cold, dead hand.
Alexandra Petri :
I think back-alley masturbations are already illegal in many states...
– February 21, 2012 12:37 PM
Why not let's return to the "homunculus" theory as well? Each sperm a little human.
Alexandra Petri :
This reminds me...
(Tying everything together, I used to watch Meaning Of Life the night before taking any standardized test, meaning that this was invariably stuck in my head during most of the verbal portion.)
– February 21, 2012 12:40 PM
See, this is why you need to write about spankers who date each other. Because if couples spent more time spanking each other, they wouldn't be spanking something else, of which Republicans never speak.
Alexandra Petri :
I think the Craigslist ads that popped up around CPAC would beg to differ with you on that, but they might have been false flag operations...
– February 21, 2012 12:41 PM
Covering toothpaste might actually be a good idea. Better dental care has improved overall health of people and saved lots of medical costs.
Although, and this is critically important, do not use toothpaste for birth control.
Alexandra Petri :
Foster Friess remembers back when they used to use toothpaste for birth control --
– February 21, 2012 12:41 PM
Between the spilling of seed in your discussions and the poop discussions on Gene Weingarten, these discussions are becoming....wow, way cool, like a great underground band. Rock on.
Alexandra Petri :
According to Jung, this means I'm farther along the fixation stages of development than Weingarten, but that just shows you what Jung knew about these things.
– February 21, 2012 12:43 PM
As someone who has had to teach the products of local-controlled school systems, I say FEDERAL STANDARDS FOR ALL. I never thought I needed to learn math! I mean, when am I going to use it?" Well, you're going to use it right now if you don't want to fail this class.
In all seriousness, I think the real problem with letting parents have control of curricula is that they rarely will advocate for their kids to learn more than they themselves were taught and retained. I'd rather have an educational expert setting standards than the collective wisdom of Peoria.
Alexandra Petri :
That's the one trouble with leaving these things up to parental input -- it depends on the parent. For every mother reading her toddler Newton's Principia, there are those people who think this is a good idea.
– February 21, 2012 12:47 PM
Seriously, if Santo in the man for the Republicans in the general, are they saying they don't need the women's vote to win?
Alexandra Petri :
I mean, Abraham Lincoln didn't, and this is the party of Lincoln!
Er.
– February 21, 2012 12:48 PM
Fascinating discussion! The flip side of this argument is that if you have federal standards, the kids with potential to far, far exceed the lowest common denominator get screwed because they're doing "just fine" (really, they could do a lot better if given the freedom that their parents would push for them).
Alexandra Petri :
See, that's the trouble.
As usually happens in the classroom, it's not about the people squarely in the middle, but the ones on either end who make things difficult and generate discussion.
– February 21, 2012 12:54 PM
Thanks for that clip - it brings back memories. Like the time I was watching the movie with my high school girlfriend and my father was in the room. Man, did that song get him embarrassed.
Alexandra Petri :
– February 21, 2012 12:54 PM
I read this a few years ago, so it may be useful if someone researched this and see if there is any more information on this.
It seems the first American female voter was a hermit who came into town just to vote. It wasn't until after the hermit died that anyone realized the hermit was female.
No one was certain if the hermit was passing as a man and that voting would keep up the deception, or if the hermit was just a manly looking female who did not know that women weren't allowed to vote.
Not exactly the pathsetting story in women's right, but it still in an interesting story.
Alexandra Petri :
As my favorite headline once memorably said, "If true, this is news!" But strangely, I think I read about this in an anthology of American Folklore at a formative age. Must investigate further.
– February 21, 2012 12:56 PM
Learning math is anti-religious freedom. Why, it can lead to being able to calculate climate data, which leads to concluding that significant global climate change is occurring, which leads to environmental theology...
Alexandra Petri :
Not to mention that you start believing 2 + 2 = 4 no matter what anyone has to say about it. Fortunately, O'Brien is here to help with these things.
– February 21, 2012 12:57 PM
Can you explain to me exactly what he was alluding to with the whole aspirin-between-the-knees comment? How exactly is aspirin supposed to help? Please explain in the form of a Venn diagram if at all possible.
Alexandra Petri :
Just imagine the intersection of "Outdated Attitudes Towards Women" and "Things You Really Shouldn't Say Nowadays." The areas where they don't overlap are, respectively, "Mad Men" and "Any Comparison Of Anyone To Hitler."
– February 21, 2012 12:58 PM
Based on the last few games, it looks like Linsanity might be pretty short.
Alexandra Petri :
Speaking of under-ballyhooed things that are fun, then over too soon, I think it's about time to reel 'er on in. Last two questions!
– February 21, 2012 12:59 PM
"The Fix" is tweeting something about Santorum warning that Satan is coming.
Is Satan that new garage band that is opening for your next discussion?
Alexandra Petri :
I think he's a little too mainstream, or at least well-hyped, to be my opening act...
– February 21, 2012 1:01 PM
Another problem with home schooling is that parents can't teach more than they know, but they run the risk of teaching less, leading to a downward spiral in knowledge. But heck, who needs knowledge anyway?
Alexandra Petri :
Also, years of eating bad cafeteria food and being taunted or embraced by your peers are a prerequisite for being able to write for sitcoms, one of the few job markets in which Americans still seem to be doing all right.
– February 21, 2012 1:02 PM
Magnets: how do they work? No, seriously, do you think Romney will at least get a cabinet position or something? He seems so desperate to get to DC I kinda feel bad for him.
Alexandra Petri :
He could always just come and ride around on the double decker bus for a bit. That seems to tide most people over.
– February 21, 2012 1:05 PM
Seriously, after eating the poisoner eggs, how are you doing? We are concerned. We hope you are well.
And, yes, I often think of myself in the plural.
Alexandra Petri :
I feel... fine.
On that note, thanks for a delightful indie chat! See you next week, when I promise not to sell out!
Meanwhile, please keep reading the Compost and feel free but unobligated to join my dedicated band of Twitter followers.
– February 21, 2012 1:06 PM
