Tiger Woods apology and more -- Celebritology Live

Feb 18, 2010

Join Celebritology blogger Liz Kelly to gab about the latest celebrity pairings (and splittings), rising stars (and falling ones) and get the scoop on the latest gossip making waves across the Web.

A lot going down today in celebrity land as speculation builds ahead of Tiger Woods's Friday presser, so we'll just jump right in..

If the Tiger press conference is tightly orchestrated/controlled by the PGA, Tiger is going to make a brief statement only, and he's not going to accept questions ... WHAT is the point? Seems like this will neither help nor hurt him.

Well, I guess the thinking behind it is that he's got to start somewhere. For the past three months, he's been invisible and largely at the mercy of tabloid coverage. This presser is his attempt to seize back control of his own image. He's got to come out strong and try to re-brand himself as a golfer. So, sure, he's going to have to mention the whole unfortunate infidelity thing, but you can bet the final word from Tiger tomorrow will be about golf. Why? That's the impression his handlers (and the PGA) want us to take away.

Why so short? Because there's only so much to say and allowing Tiger to take questions would only open the door to more potential landmines.

You might have noticed we're trying out the new chat software again and, for some reason, it isn't identifying me as me. But I assure you, it's Liz here behind the curtain.

The new pictures without the fancy lighting are truly horrific. What was the poor thing thinking?

I can hardly bear to look at poor Heidi at this point. But, in her defense, I'm not sure the lighting in that second pic would do anyone any favors.

Why is she complaining about the attention on her (awesome) body if she's going to pose in a corset for the cover of a magazine? That kind of stuff makes me crazy. She's a fine actress but if she doesn't want people commenting on her curves then why bare them?

Well, that's kind of what I was getting at when I wrote about her earlier this week. She's definitely sending a mixed message.

I was SHOCKED by the New York mag photos of Christina Hendricks. So shocked I can't even remember them. Paul, perhaps you can help me be shocked again?

Christina Hendricks's body of work

Just giving the people what they want Liz.

This seems like a good moment to get this out of the way.

Jeez, talk about an easy target. Just because he is a has-been, and occasionally a national-joke doesn't mean he isn't a human being who deserves a measure of respect. What makes the gang at the Insider so high an mighty? Kudos to Gary for walking off!

I'm not sure how much the guy respects himself if he agrees to appear on "The Insider."

Tiger Woods will speak publicly, without questions, about infidelity tomorrow. Any truth to the rumor that it will be in fact an informercial for a "how to" book?

Only if the book is "How to Destroy Your Image in (at least) 13 Easy Steps."

Hey Liz. Hope you are felling well and all. Do you think there are any up and coming celebs from the Olympics? You know, people who have the charisma to break into mainstream culture like Apolo Ohno?

Well, there seems to be much focus on Lindsey Vonn, who is not only athletically gifted, but easy on the eyes. I have to confess that I haven't been tuned in much to the Olympics this time around -- anyone else care to weigh in?

The point is he is in a rehab program (for "sex addiction", as if that's a real disease!) and one of the 12 steps is to apologize to those who have been hurt by your bad behavior. He's doing it because his therapist (and probably his agent) told him he has to.

Hmm. Something tells me Tiger's commitment to a 12-step isn't behind this statement, no matter how noble a motivation that may be.

Trust me, this is all PR. The guy's livelihood is at stake. This is a man fighting for his brand.

This is fancy and different!

That's what she said.

What were some of the best foods you had on your (sniffle) tropical (sob)vacation? Not that I'm bitter, or anything...

Hmm, I'd have to go with the vegetarian mofungo I had in San Juan, the roasted eggplant hummus wrap and anything from Vieques's amazing Sol Food -- especially the Mayan chocolate brownies.

If you haven't seen it Liz, I recommend it highly. The songs are good, the acting is superb, the story is moving and 'real' and Colin Farrell surprised the heck out of me.

This reminds me -- do you have thoughts as to why Jeff Bridges and Vince Vaughn were sang in the new "We Are the World."?

I'm not sure Vince Vaughn even knows why he was there, but he sure was happy to be included. And, hey, it's all for a good cause.

As for Jeff Bridges, he's actually a fairly accomplished voacalist and with the buzz surrounding "Crazy Heart" (which, no, I still haven't seen) it isn't surprising that he'd be asked to pitch in.

This is the second chat I've seen with the new format, and I definitely like it. The only problem is my chat didn't automatically update either time. Is that still something that is supposed to happen or has that been abandoned? It would be nice to not have to hit refresh (and everytime I wait several minutes and hope a new question will pop up it doesn't so I refresh and there are several new questions and answers, so it really is that my chat isn't automatically refreshing).

I apologize. We're having issues with the autorefresh in IE 7 and 8. We thought we had them fixed as of this morning, but...

Haha. I thought he had 15 mistresses, not 13...

I said "at least 13," didn't I?

In case anyone here is wondering, the Men's Wear Department has no plans to carry John Malkovich's Technobohemian line of clothing.

Thanks for the update, menswear. I'm sure, somewhere out there, there is at least one disappointed guy.

Unfortunately, it seems to me as if Tiger is handling his mea culpa the same way he has handled everything else in his life - control, control, control and I can do what I want when I want.

 

While this works for him on the golf course, it eventually blew up in his face in his personal life. I think people are hoping that after this whole mess, Tiger would come out of it a changed man, and I really wonder if he has at all.

 

There has been much speculation that he went to rehab not at his own volition, or because he believed he had a sex addiction, but because he felt that it was the only way he could get his wife back. I think he still has a long way to go to make things right not only for his family, but for himself as well.

I can't disagree with you. He's got a long way to go and it isn't at all clear that he's truly sorry for his actions. But making things right for his family and himself and trying to re-engage his fan-base are two totally different things. Tomorrow's presser is designed to do the latter -- remind us of why we even liked the guy in the first place (because he could play a hell of a game of golf). Sure, we also thought he was a stand up guy. To that end, he'll say he's sorry and hope we can all move on.

The kind of healing and closure you're talking about though is something that should be done in private.

Johnny Weir has a reality show debuting on Sundance.

 

Lindsey Vonn definitely has a spokesperson/modeling career ahead of her if she wants it, but alpine skiing is probably safer than DWTS, given the injuries on recent seasons of the show.

 

I can see Discovery doing a show about bobsledders that, in the off-season at least, would look a whole lot like Ax Men or Ice Road Truckers.

I might watch that. As long as Bear Grylls hosts.

Do you think Tiger's apology tomorrow is addressed more to his fellow tour-golfers (all male) and golf fans (predominantly male)? Do you think women are less likely to forgive him, as we may tend to relate to the fact that he not only humiliated his wife and children, bu alsot risked infecting Elin with goodness-only-knows-what STDs he might've contracted during such extensive unprotected activity?

Good question and I think this gets at what I wrote above. Again, tomorrow will be Tiger's bid at reassuring his core fan base, the PGA and his remaining sponsors that he is worthy of their attention and dollars.

 

And, no matter how women feel about him, time tends to heal all wounds. My prediction is that if Tiger can return his golf game to top form, he'll have a shot at regaining much of his former standing as a public figure. Distance and new headlines will quite simply bury the tabloidy stuff. That is, of course, if he can keep his private life on the stright and narrow.

Still don't have a Twitter account, but am awfully close to signing up just so I can follow some feeds. I think you did a list before about celebrities worth following, but wonder who else you might add to the list. I know that NPH started up his feed fairly recently, and he's on my hypothetical list.

Here's what you should do. Sign up, then visit my feed at @celebritology. Click on the feeds I follow and you'll have a pretty robust list of twittering celebs.

 

And thanks for asking because it gives me the perfect opportunity to plug today's new Twits episode.

Once someone says chocolate that's all I think about. Mayan chocolate brownies though, sounds like something I would have eaten in college to relax on a Friday night with friends. And some groovy music.

They were less groovy than delicious. Super rich brownies with a hint of cinammon and big chunks of dark chocolate.

 

Sigh.

Ok - why with all that is happening in the world, and all the potential for emotional reactions, was I moved to tears at the sight of Jesse James Sandra Bullock and Jesse James reunited with his pitbull?

Hey, I think Cinnabun is way more worhty of your tears than retiring "Hollywood star" Tila Tequila.

Maybe Tiger will announce his retirement in the mode of a few other wandering athletes (See Jordan, M. and Armstrong, L.) A couple of years later he will announce his return to golf (likely with a different spouse at his side).

He should wait until golf is in the 2016 Olympics, then come back and destroy everyone and win the gold, re-earning America's love.

Brilliant plan. Someone get this to Tiger's people stat.

Hey Liz, thanks for the update about Cinnabun being reunited with his human, Jesse James. The pictures may me a little teary-eyed! Can we have some pics of your pets to continue the pet love-in?

Well, since you asked...

Opie

Andy

 

Page is in self-imposed paparazzi lockdown.

Maybe it is time for Tiger to rebrand, and think of using this to his benefit: Golfing products as an aphrodisiac...Come on, the guy has "wood" and "tiger' in his name. He could tour nationally with Chippendales...

Okay, another cretive idea for Team Tiger...

I'm no fan of Southwest, or of making people feel bad about their bodies - so I'm torn on who's right here.

I'm torn, too. Especially since Smith had originally been skedded for a different flight for which he'd had the foresight to purchase two seats. So he knew there was at least the potential that his girth would be an issue on this flight.

 

Maybe we should just chalk this one up to a bad bit of decision-making on the parts of both Southwest and Kevin Smith and call it a day.

Dear Fabulous Liz Kelly, Have you been watching 30 Rock this season? I'm not liking it as much. It feels like it's gone from telling a story each episode (and sometimes over the course of episodes) to one gag after another. What are your thoughts on the sometimes still fabulous Liz Lemon?

I have been watching "30 Rock" this season and haven't noticed a drop in quality. The Valentine episode was great. I fell out of my chair when Liz Lemon hallucinated her exes at the dentist's office and Dennis (Beeper King) had one attached to the lapel of his jacket.

Love the automatic refreshing (yay!) hate that we are losing the "who's who" of regulars and folks from around the USA - can you guys work out a separate line or box for names/places?

As Tysons, Nosy, etc. will attest, you can still put whatever you want in there.

He didn't cheat on me. Now, if he'd cheated to win golf tournaments that would be another story. Then, yes, he would owe the public an apology. He ought to get divorced and live the bachelor life. Then he could see all the porn stars and cocktail waitresses he wants. His public persona is a carefully controlled and crafted image, a person that does not exist, and I think it's causing him some mental distress. I guess you could argue that a lot of celebrities are that, but his crafted fake persona is just so different from the real deal it's freaky.

A very good comment. He may be the one suffering the most from the disconnect between real life and his idealized image. Not that I'm ready to give the guy too much pity. I mean, at the end of the day, even if he loses his golf career he's still pretty well set up.

My husband is a golf pro, and according to him the most difficult crowd to win back will be the golfers. The whole game is based on integrity. It's not his behavior so much as it's about the fact that he pretended to be something he's not. Bad behavior is tolerated (John Daly anyone!), but don't try to pretend you're something your're not.

You mean his fellow pros or average shmos who happen to follow golf?

Very cute.

That is their recycled cardboard kitty pod. Andy and Opie are green.

Not sure if the Post is cool w/ you following or discussing non-Post jouranlists/cultural critics but I am really enjoying Toure's take on celeb misbehavior - John Mayer especially. Can we get him in as a guest a la the Answer Bithch in the chat?

Sure, why not? The more the merrier.

Proof that you can put anything you want in the topic line.

Well played sir!

Indeed.

Think she'll be sitting there with Tiger tomorrow? If she is I will just cry. C'mon girl. A little self-respect, please.

Conventional wisdom seems to be leaning against Elin joining Tiger at the conference. Again, that would put the focus too much on his personal life and take away from his attempt to re-seize his image as a golf god.

I've been a bit captivated by planes and buildings today, but I definitely agree that Lindsey Vonn could have a modeling career. Just check out her SI swimsuit spread. Also, I'm liking the new format.

Thanks, I like it, too. A lot easier for me to participate, add links, pix, etc.

I wonder how much Under Armor paid to get Lindsey in that bikini...?

I get the impression no one can get Lorne Michaels to do something he doesn't want to. http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/02/betty_white_snl.html

It would be bad PR on "SNL's" part to not extend an invite. I'm not sure they'll offer her an actual entire show to host, though. I'm thinking we'll see her turn up in a cameo before too long.

I wonder if any Las Vegas bookie is offering a line on how long it will be after Tiger Woods' news conference before The Daily Show, SNL or some other comedy troupe comes out with a satire that is full of golfing double entendres.

Bodog.com is offering odds for questions like "Will Elin be present?," "How many times will Tiger say 'sorry'?" and -- my favorite -- "Will Tiger wipe a tear from his face?"

A few of the women's curling team are cute - there's a British curler - Eve Muirhead that looks quite good in HD. She's also a bagpipe player and also is a good golfer - pure Scottish in every way (excluding the Groundskeeper Willie looks).

Make way for Willie!

So we have some good ideas of what Tiger's likely to do tomorrow. What's something you'd like to see that he's NOT likely to do? Personally I'd like to see him move onto his boat and become a professional yacht bum for a while. You know, cruise around the Caribbean, practice his drives off the bow.

Well, it sure would be entertaining if he led all of his alleged mistresses on to the stage with him. Perhaps wearing Miss America-esque sashes -- "Miss Porn Star," "Miss Sexting," etc.

Tina Fey is hosting SNL later this year and may reprise her incomparable Sarah Palin character. Maybe Betty White could play Katie Couric in a replay of that famous interview?

You know Sarah Palin isn't actually a fictional character, right?

Well, Paul, that's debatable.

Man, what a great article in Esquire. It's sad to not have Roger available to do his shot-at-a-time film classes at film festivals - but in partial compensation, we have the wonderful writing that he does on his Journal.

And Twitter -- he is a diehard Twitter addict.

"The whole game is based on integrity." Oh come ON!!! Sorry, I don't think the buddies in the (still mostly white) clubhouse care a whit about Tiger's "integrity." And in any case, he didn't cheat in the game. He cheated on his wife.

Thanks for saying what I didn't want to. I spent some time with golfers myself and I can't say that they were any more possessed of integrity than any other demographic.

No. They'd be wearing little golf pennants with the numbers, 1, 2, 3, 4,...

I'd like to see Elin holding one of those giant Happy Gilmour checks.

Also, Gary Coleman should be there in some capacity.

 

Now the real presser is going to be a total let down. Our imaginary version is so much more entertaining.

I've been following the skirmish re: Kevin Smith and Southwest, and he says that while he regularly books 2 seats on SW, it's to give him privacy and not because of his girth. Since SW is so cheap (he says) it's not too expensive to do that. He says that he could fit in his seat with the armrests down without expanding into the other seats on the disputed flight, and that his seatmates on that flight had no complaints about him sitting next to them/being in their way. More info here.

Thanks for the update.

You don't have to sign up for twitter to get tweets. If you go to twitter.com/(handle) you can read the tweets of the people you're into. I do this for NPH, Liz (of course), and Craig Ferguson. Yes, I don't have a facebook page, myspace whatever, blah blah blah, etc. either. If you want to talk to me you can call, email or text. I think that's enough options.

Thankew!

Shawn White or Lindsay Vonn?? I'm going with high flying, red-headed Shawn White!

I can't join you on team White. He's too reminiscent of Carrot Top.

I'd only watch the Bear Grylls bobsled show if it offered the same opportunities for nudity as his current show does. Does anyone watch him for any other reason?

Actually, Mr. Liz and I watch Bear to have a good laugh. He provides practically zero usable survial tips. That show is all about his ego and propensity to risk his neck.

 

If it's survival you're after, watch "Man vs. Wild."

What I'd really enjoy would be if he and Elin re-enacted the mysterious crash and what we presume preceded it. Maybe he could go on SNL and let them poke fun, that might, I say might, make me feel a bit more favorable towards him.

Yeah, I'm not sure a reenactment would do much to help us move on. But I do think your suggestion of making fun of himself isn't the worst idea out there. It could go a long way to defuse the sting of the tabloid stories.

It's the other way around -- the PGA Tour is a vastly different place (read: more $$$ for everyone) with Tiger on it. The other players are dying for him to come back. From Tiger's point of view, why does he need to 'win back' (whatever that means) the other players? It's not a team sport. Also, I agree that he does not owe me an apology. I like watching him golf and that's all. Same for all athletes and celebs. Their personal life is up to them. Barkley addressed this years ago.

Another point of view...

Are people really going to complain, or just grin and bear it? I can't imagine calling over the flight attendant and saying, this guy is too fat to sit next to me.

Nor can I... any more than I would be comfortable asking a flight attendant to do something about the jackhole in front of me who insists on fully reclining his seat into my space in economy. Same diff, really.

You mean "Survivorman," don't you?

Augh!!!! Yes, "Survivorman." I blame the fog of pregnancy.

Okay, time to wrap this thing up. I'll be back next week and stay tuned tomorrow during the big Tiger announcement. I'll be live-blogging the event with The Post's Paul Farhi.

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Liz Kelly
Accredited Celebritologist Liz Kelly monitors the ups, downs and in-betweens of the stars. She is uniquely qualified to write this blog because of her alarming interest in celebrities and pop culture -- and because Sandra Bullock, Shirley MacLaine and Warren Beatty attended her high school (not at the same time, but still...)
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