Celebritology Live

Sep 27, 2012

Celebritology blogger Jen Chaney gabbed about the latest celebrity gossip and pop culture news making waves across the Web.

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Sorry for the tardy. Just got out of a meeting.

Hey, can someone e-mail me a sandwich? Tuna or maybe egg salad sounds good.

All right, let the chat begin.

I loooove Modern Family, but I just don't get her. She's overexposed herself (in more ways than one), and seems like she was the girl in high school innocently sitting on all the boys' laps. Why all the she-got-robbed Emmy buzz? (Maybe I'm just a Claire...)

By overexposed, perhaps you mean the photo she tweeted of her bare backside when her Emmy dress split? That was deemed, uh, not suitable for Washington Post, a family Web site.

I like Vergara but her character on that show is not my favorite. She's funny, but a little one-note. Maybe that will change now that she's pregnant. (Gloria, not Vergara.)

Every time I think I couldn't love that man anymore, he kicks it up another notch.

Shoot, I missed it. Will have to check it out.

It was mentioned last month in a live chat  as an idea, and looking at Dan Stevens's tweet about meeting with head SNL writer Seth Meyers, maybe it will happen?

Maybe. I like the idea of Matthew Crawley hosting.

So I saw Poor Little Tom on the cover of People, looking sad and woebegone and a headline of how bereft of his daughter he is. And I wonder ... has the Scientology publicity machine cranked into high gear to get their star cult member some positive press? Tom sure is being portrayed as Woe Is Me, and the whole thing is interestingly timed given the negative publicity Scientology has been getting of late (and the release of The Master, which of course is not about Scientology nor based on L. Ron Hubbard or anything).

It is interesting. Cruise has "Jack Reacher" coming out later this year and it certainly will be helpful to have the public thinking warm thoughts about him.

is not Sofia Vergara; it's the kids. They are all so annoying, even little Lily, sad to say. And Manny drives me absolutely nuts.

Aw, you're dissing Manny? When he's already having a tough time with a soon-to-be new sibling to deal with? For shame.

(P.S. I'm just kidding.)

(P.P.S. I think I'd be just as happy with Modern Family if it were only about Claire and Phil and Cam and Mitchell. Those plotlines are always the funnier ones.)

Unless the rest of your name is Ernie Ford, Tennessee is a dopey name for a kid. What's the nickname--Tenn? See? Nessie?

Compared to some celeb baby names, it's not terrible.

His middle name is James, so maybe they will call him TJ?

I think I'd be more interested to see it if they had used computers and make-up to make Bruce Willis look like an older Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Is this your way of saying you think JGL is more handsome than Mr. Willis? Given his "Magic Mike" performance on SNL last week, I can understand why one might draw such a conclusion...

If you want a good laugh, look at the transcript of Tracee Hamilton's sports chat earlier today. A poster (not I) laid out an all-too-plausible riff about Adam Sandler developing a movie around the inept replacement refs in the NFL. It starts with the premise that Sandler has been referring Lingerie League games when the real refs go on strike. Need I add the poster had Kevin James and Chris Rock on Sandler's officiating crew and that there was a role for Kate Upton as a Lingerie Leagure player. I hope whoever posted that starts banging out a spec script now, because you know it's gonna happen.

That sounds entirely too plausible for words.

Maybe he's gonna be TJ? Or kissin' cousin to Tennessee Ernie Ford (before your time)? Seems an odd moniker for a child likely to grow up in SoCA.

Well, Witherspoon is a Southern girl so it doesn't seem so out of left field to me.

Also, there are many, many odd monikers in SoCa. So I suspect he'll be just fine.

Then what would it be called: Contemporary Adults?

Non-Parenthood? Parents Without Kids?

The Invisible Offspring?

So many options.

Where is my sandwich? I was told food could be e-mail via the Internet. I'll pay you five bucks, I swear.

Sure when people started using "Dakota" as a baby name, other people grumbled. Now it isn't my favorite baby name by any stretch, but still think it isn't as usual and more mainstream.

And to repeat a point made in the Celebritology chat before: when "Splash" came out almost 30 years ago and Daryl Hannah named herself Madison, after Madison Avenue, that was supposed to be a joke.

Now it is reality.

Some of my favorite moments of the show have been between Phil and the kids, especially with Luke, like when they made the basketball video or hunted in the crawl space together.

I am actually not that anti-the kids, I just like the two aforementioned families more than the Gloria/Jay unit.

Luke will obviously stay since he has the same name as my son. (My son, I like to think, is a bit smarter.)

I'm curious as to which celeb pair you would rather hear about less in 2013: Chris Brown & Rihanna, Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart, or Amanda Bynes & Lindsey Lohan?

Is all of the above an option?

Tom Cruise is portraying Jack Reacher? That's utterly despicable and tone deaf casting on the part of whoever made THAT decision. Reacher is completely and totally a non-wee-Tom character. Where may I protest? This is beyond the pale!

I believe you can protest on the Internet, where others have already been virtually picketing for several months.

It can. It's called Seamless.

Great idea, but everything around here takes 45 minutes at least to deliver. And I'll be dead by then, you guys.

Should we have a high colonic cleanse to celebrate?

No, you should order some very expensive merchandise that has been recommended on Goop, then do your cleanse.

Wow, I'm older than Paltrow by exactly one month. And she looks better than I do by a factor of, approximately 589 gamillion trillion. So unfair.

Oh, c'mon. Lily the monster is great! She is the child her overindulgent parents deserve, which is a lesson for us all. She was great last night and I loved the piece they did on the Emmys.

Someone speaks on behalf of Lily.

I'm starting to think that when Bruce Willis was younger, he didn't even look like Bruce Willis.

Photo of young Bruce Willis

JGL as young Bruce Willis

I honestly don't have an issue with JGL playing a young Bruce, even with no effects or make-up. They don't look exactly alike, but, hi, that's certainly happened in movies before.

Isn't that what interns are for? Aren't there any interns at WaPo who, in exchange for celebrity gossip and basking in your aura, will go out to fetch food?

Not at the moment. And even where there are interns, there is no basking or fetching, at least not for me.

I wouldn't even feel comfortable asking someone to do that, unless they happened to be going out the door and offered. I don't like using interns as gophers, having once been a gopher,  and on some days still feeling like one.

Will that get you a walk on role in The Walking Dead?

That is my hope. My plan is to be Shane's zombie girlfriend.

"He's just misunderstoood!" I'll shout as my right arm falls off.

You'd look that good too if you and your spouse were richer than Creseus, and your mother looked like Blythe Danner.

She certainly does have great genes on her side.

Was anyone else surprised they got away with the copulating animals on the roof?

A little, but sight gags of that nature seem to be less of an issue for censors. At least it seems that way to me.

Wow. Young Willis looks like he came off of MY THREE SONS.

Well, his father is Fred McMurray. Little known fact.*

*No, it isn't and he is not.

I'd feel worse for you if I hadn't fasted all day yesterday. Might as well atone for your sins while you're at it.

You know what? You're right. My Jewish friends had to put up with this all day yesterday. I at least got to have breakfast this morning.

As a longtime chatter, I have to say I was a little worried when Liz Kelly left because you always seemed so sweet and kind in your responses. But I am gratified to note that you have such finely honed snark abilities these days. Or maybe the targets are getting better? Anyway, good job Jen.

The job has hardened me and turned me into a heartless jerkhole.

Liz, however, is like 85 times more gentle these days.

At least you can rip your own ears off when people start screaming "Carl! Where's Carl?!"

That made me laugh out loud. I need to start building a library of go-to Carl jokes for when Walking Dead returns next month.

That Nelson on the Simpsons was the first thing that came to my head when I heard about Andy Williams?

It makes you a Gen Xer and the kind of person I want to be friends with. The look on Nelson's face during that slow pan still cracks me up.

That could present problems if she's trying to navigate L.A. traffic.

She actually is in Palm Springs now, so nope. Problem solved.

Any idea why he is no longer on Scandal?

The word was simply that he got dropped and it was amicable. But why for real? No idea.

Now there's a couple I really hope grows old together. They have bucked every Hollywood trend: they keep their private lives private, they dated for awhile before marrying, they were married for awhile before having kids, and they are just cute. Just cute!

Yes, when I double checked how long they had been together while writing about their new baby, I felt somewhat heartened during this,  my post-Poehler/Arnett split depression. Somewhat.

here, in my kids class there is reuben and levi. and oscar and grover. and, well other stuff. it's not just celebrities. i forget some of the more interesting ones, though.

Please tell me that Oscar and Grover are twins, please tell me that Oscar and Grover are twins...

Jason Sudeikis does a pretty good job channeling Mitt Romney on SNL, but he doesn't look anything like him! Which celebrities would you cast to portray the presidential election on TV or film?

Jay Pharoah does a pretty good Obama, even though he doesn't exactly resemble him either. I'm not sure. Readers, got ideas?

You guys have no sense of irony. Manny's separate but equally dry relationships to both Gloria and Jay is my favorite part of the show. Gloria's and Jay's differing relationships to the dog also slay me. But the best is when they turn the stereotypes on their head -- like when Gloria finds out Jay wants to take her to his reunion as his trophy, and immediately and instead of feeling insulted wants to help him get his revenge of the Nerd. They are so much more than the obvious.

Okay, that's fair.

I still don't laugh as much during those parts of the show. It's nothing personal against them, I just don't.

Look, let's just agree to disagree and talk about Parenthood instead, which made me cry at least three times this week.

Hey, Amanda Bynes wasn't picked up for drunk driving this week! Wow!

Aaaaand now you've jinxed it.

What do you think of Tom Shales' comments that ABC/GMA are hyping Robin Roberts' illness for ratings?

Well, I think ABC recognizes that viewers feel a connection to Roberts. Are they using that to their advantage? Of course. And to Shales's point, that feels a little ooky.

But I suspect some viewers want all the updates on her condition and such, so they're also giving their audience what it wants.

And right now, there seems to be more of a strong connection between the GMAers and Roberts than anyone who watches the "Today" show and the viewers of the "Today" show, at least right now.

Are you watching this? Wondering if I should or not Loved lost but don't want to be so addicted to a show either ;)

I watched the first episode and did not fall in love, and saw part of the second. I plan to try to watch more but my gut is telling me it may not pan out.

kids share lockers in my kids' school. and while reuben and levi share lockers, sadly, oscar and grover do not.

They share a trash can, though, right?

(Sorry. Had to say it.)

Is Ray Romano supposed to be a romantic interest?

It is looking that way. And I remain a little skeptical of that because a. I like Jason Ritter so, so much and b. Ray Romano?

But they are developing that well, actually. Romano's character and Sarah (Lauren Graham) have a snarky core in common, so I can sorta, kinda see why they'd be drawn to each other. Also, by nature, if someone isn't nice to you at first and then is nice to you, then you like them more. Psychological fact.

Doesn't anyone think this name might be an homage to the great American playwright Tennessee Williams. (Whose given name was Tom, by the way--he renamed himself.)

Uh, about a million of you, judging from all the Williams references in the questions being submitted. It's entirely possible.

Hi Jen, I would send you some of my pasta-and-roasted corn salad with mozzarella balls, but I'm in the other Washington (the one on the left coast) so by the time it got to you, the mozzarella might be questionable.

I do appreciate the thought, though. That sounds very good.

Tom Green looks like Paul Giamatti now. What happened?

Giamatti? Not so sure. I am thinking more Richard Karn, formerly of "Home Improvement"?

His sister Brittany just had a baby boy named Colton. Every time he came up to bat or made a catch or anything, the MASN announcers called him Uncle Bryce. I guess it's funny because he's only 19. . .

For the record, for those who remember this thread from a previous chat, my son has stopped shouting about how Bryce Harper needs to be fired.

Now he's moved on to singing "We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together" by Taylor Swift.

Who is he??

He's a character in a series of books, now being made into a movie starring Cruise. The character is described as being a somewhat sizeable man, very tall, well over six feet.

Hence, the issues with Cruise. I didn't read the books so I will reserve judgment until I see the movie.

This is a show I'm looking forward to seeing, partly because I like Terry O'Quinn and Vanessa Williams and partly because it seems like a cross between Rosemary's Baby & Needful Things, although with a much better wardrobe.

It seems like it's riding the American Horror Story coattails a little bit, but I plan to check it out, too. Keeping expectations low, however.

Sigh. People need to calm down about book to film casting. Humphrey Bogart looked nothing like the book description of Sam Spade, but the Maltese Falcon still rocked. Also, Sam Neil looked nothing like his book counterpart in the film adaptation of Jurassic Park, which we can all agree became one of the great cinematic triumphs of our time. So settle down.

Well, I think there might be more of an issue in this case in terms of the discrepancy. But I agree that it's best to see how the movie is before freaking out. Even though I love it when people freak out.

That said, it's sandwich time. Thanks for the chat. See you all here next week!

In This Chat
Jen Chaney
Jen Chaney anchors The Washington Post's Celebritology blog, The Post's online window into the world of pop culture and celebrities. She also frequently writes about entertainment trends, filmmakers and other Hollywood-related matters for the print edition of The Washington Post.

A Post staffer for more than a decade, Jen also can be seen reviewing movies on WETA's "Around Town," where she is one of the show's regular film critics. Last year, she contributed a series of essays to the book, "The Friday Night Lights Companion."

When she isn't blogging, at the movies or watching a television show, she's ... um ... probably at home watching a movie or a TV show.

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