Celebritology Live

Oct 27, 2011

Join Celebritology blogger Jen Chaney to gab about the latest celebrity gossip and pop culture news making waves across the Web.

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Welcome, everyone, to our last chat before Halloween. Would love to talk scary movies/Halloween costumes or anything Halloweeny, in addition to the usual celeb/pop culture fare.

Let's get going.

Any word on whether those two are still together and if so, what's up those with those rumors in the first place?

The whole Demi/Ashton thing has completely pushed the marital-problem spotlight off of the Smiths, hasn't it?

As far as I know, they are still together. Jada Pinkett-Smith and Marc Anthony both firmly denied the rumors of their affair. So maybe the rumors were just tabloid nonsense, or maybe there was a small grain of truth that was blown way out of proportion.

Unclear. In any event, happy that I haven't seen another "they're getting divorced" story on those two in a while.

I wrote in a few weeks ago about being too scared to watch- I'm thousands of miles away from home in grad school with no one to watch with! I bit the bullet, and watched when the sun was at the highest and kept my boyfriend on speed dial! And? The most disturbing thing? Jessica Lange's arms/hands. Her face is decades younger-looking. I couldn't stop rewinding.

It's more a weird show than a genuinely scary show, for sure.

And I noticed that about Lange's arms, too -- the scene in the pilot where she's taking jewelry, I think, right? I wasn't sure if that was intentional somehow or if that was genuinely how her arms/hands look.

I find her to be one of the most captivating things about the show, though, as we discussed last week. Last night she came this close to going on a no more wire hangers tirade.

Jen, I know it's hard to know where to draw the line sometime. You have to make a lot of judgment calls. We, your loyal readers, may not always agree with your judgment calls, but we respct that you have make them. Having said all that, can we please have a moratorium on Courtney Stodden? Really, her family is just pushing her for the attention. I don't think we should help them in that goal. Especially when she is underage and probably not thinking clearly (if you know what I mean).

I hear you.

Sarah Hughes gets a huge kick out of Stodden. And in some instances -- like the time when she apparently sent those ridiculous e-mails in response to a radio booker -- I do, too. But the pumpkin patch incident from earlier this week was such a blatant attempt at publicity that I vetoed the idea of doing an item on it and instead, we stuck it in the mix.

If anyone actually picks up their alleged reality show, I don't think we can ignore them entirely. But I will absolutely try to be careful about when we write about them and we don't. Writing about them just to mock their bids for attention is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel.

Anyone care to join my betting pool that J. Lo and P. Diddy (or whatever he goes by now) will get back together?

But what about Bradley Cooper, the alleged new love in Lopez's life? How does he fit into this whole scenario, I ask you?

I think we should adopt him while he's over here. He did his own shopping at a nearby Wal-mart and allegedly loaded his cart with Coke, pizza, bananas and beer,

Obviously he's a true American cloaked in the guise of a British royal.

Amy Weinhouse? Too soon? (It is a good excuse to drink at the party, or, on second thought, too soon?)

Yikes.

Actually, I included Winehouse in my group costume suggestion as part of the In Memoriam costume. I suspect lots of people will go as her because her look was so recognizable.

You know what's sad? After writing four posts, with a total of 40 costume suggestions in them, I still have no idea what I am wearing to my son's daycare Halloween party tomorrow.

even demi/ashton are yesterday's news! tell us if Kim & Chris are really on the outs. That would be awesome.

That is the rumor about Kardashian and Humphries. I have no idea if they're really on the outs, or even really people as opposed to just holograms.

It is absurd that they would be having marital troubles immediately after the E! special aired. Seems pretty transparent to me.

I actually LOVED that pumpkin patch Anderson Cooper video. He is hysterical. I can't wait for them to get a reality show. You know they wont be able to keep up the farce that she is "17." If she really is 17, I shudder to think what she will look like at 40. It is the scariest/saddest 17 I have ever seen.

Yes, the video was another story. I had vetoed the idea of just writing about her wearing Daisy Dukes in a pumpkin patch as if it were all an accident. I think she scared the heck out of Linus ... or at least out of me.

And, by the way, this is another reason why we write about Stodden from time to time -- people are weirdly fascinated by her.

Oh. I didn't know about Bradley Cooper. Guess my guest-Celebritologist credentials should be revoked.

Well, who knows if that relationship is real? It's all rumors.

I'll allow your credentials to remain in good standing.

Agree x100000 about Lange's arms. I was confused in her flashback (2 episodes ago)because she did look younger but I couldn't figure out why. I think they might have smoothed some of those face/neck wrinkles for Constance vintage 1985. Can I also just say, the Celebritology 10 Questions from last night is so awesome that AHS has become my fave show to watch live so I can read it first thing at work! Sorry, Walking Dead! Though, I think next week WD will be much better. For those of us who have read the graphic novels, that epsiode was crucial in terms of setting them up for future action. Le Sigh. Nothing will ever ever beat hiding under cars as the hoarde roams the streets as far as TV scares go. Too bad for American Horror Story!

You are absolutely right about Lange in the flashback. Ryan Murphy said in an interview that the same digital effects company that worked on "Benjamin Button" worked on the scenes to de-age Lange. It's actually a much more common occurrence in films and TV shows than you might think.

And thanks for the kind words about the AHS recaps. I am hopeful, like you, that Walking Dead amps it up for its Halloween episode. I suspect it will.

I'm dressing up as a fried egg. White sheet, big yellow circle on front. Easy and fun.

That's a good suggestion. Will take that into consideration -- thanks!

If it is your son's daycare Halloween party, I might remove Amy Winehouse from the suggestion list.

Clearly. The costume ideas I suggested were for the masses, not for my personal use.

Here's what I don't get about LiLo posing for Playboy ... why would Playboy want LiLo to pose for them? What does she bring to the table? She's already shown her all, all over the Internet ... she's a train wreck on a downward spiral ... I don't get it.

Good question.

I think there's a buzz factor in it, potentially. Even if she has shows her all, as you say, when that Playboy issue comes out, it will be mentioned online and by media outlets. And that's good publicity for Playboy.

Not Halloween-y, but re. yesterday's discussion about who should play Grace Kelly in an upcoming biopic ... how about Nicole Kidman? She could dye her hair blond, and although she doesn't physically resemble Princess Grace, she has that regal coolness.

Sarah and I both thought about her. She's a possibility, I just thought she might be a little too old to pull off early 30s. But maybe she could.

Question for the Celebritology legal team re "exploitation of a minor": Does that 51-year-old guy's 17-year-old bride (Courtney something-or-other) still count as a minor after the wedding (for which she received parental permission from her mother), or does marriage automatically render her an emancipated minor? Their whole relationship has the stench of Ick.Nast to me.

This is an excellent question. I don't think marriage makes you an emancipated minor automatically, does it? Celebritology legal team, enlighten us!

Looks like the hopes of some Celebritologists that after Ashton, Demi might get back with Bruce have been dashed, at least for the time being.

Indeed it does.

"people are weirdly fascinated by her" ... yes. It's the train wreck analogy. We don't want to look, but we can't look away. For me, a big part of it is the revulsion of the 17/51 year old combo.

And also the fact that I still cannot believe she is 17. It just doesn't make sense.

I look closer to 17 than she does and I am ... um ... not at all 17.

You could go as someone petite. Maybe Kim Kardashian. Or Kristen Chenoweth.

Or a Munchkin. Go ahead. Just say it.

What are the criteria for determining which TV shows are Celebritology-worthy, and which aren't?

Very good question. Honestly, a lot of it is purely a judgment call on my part.

Lisa De Moraes, the Post's TV columnist, does the major competition shows -- "Dancing With the Stars," "American Idol," "X Factor" -- in her blog. Obviously we occasionally write about the people on those shows in Celebritology, too, but we don't recap them.

Given the audience we established with Lost, Liz and I felt it made a lot of sense to continue writing about shows we thought would lend themselves to conversation. I have tried to continue in that vein, with American Horror and Walking Dead.

Obviously, some of the shows I have written about -- like Friday Night Lights, Glee, Parks and Rec -- have purely been based on personal preference and an instinct (hope?) that this blog audience will have an interest in the same things that interest me.

All of that being said, I very much welcome feedback from readers about what they would like to see (or not like to see) in the blog. So bring it on if you have thoughts.

Portia de Rossi is a possibility?

Interesting. Portia has the glamour thing for sure, but she doesn't have the same American blue-blood look that, say, a Gwyneth does.

When reading that those kooky kids Kris and Kim might be play-fighting for the camera, I began to speculate, "Who in their right mind would..." Then I realized those words *never* should be used in the same sentence with a Kardashian reference. I won't let it happen again.

Wise move.

I'll work with you to make sure you don't make a similar mistake again.

So could they be looking to break the record for shortest celebrity marriage? IN ancient times, weren't Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine married for only a month? And more recently we have Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney wed for four months, along with Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito.

There have been shorter ones. Remember Britney Spears and the Jason Alexander that wasn't George Costanza from "Seinfeld"? That s annulled in seconds, practically. 

Diana Agron! She's got the right poise, she's youthful, and I think she could also pull off royal nicely. Plus she's got the blonde sweetness Grace had.

That's a good suggestion. The problem is Agron is too young -- the film in question is set in 1962 (I think) when Kelly was in her early 30s. So Agron comes across as too youthful to make that work, I think.

Costumes to children's parties are tricky. You try to fit in as a Tellytubby or Spongebob and there are some parents who think you're a weirdo. Of course, those are the usually the parents who I thought came in costume as moonshiners, until I learn that aren't in costume....

Ha.

Last year, I went as Hit Girl, minus the weapons, mainly because I wanted to have purple hair.

How do those supermarket tabloids (not People but the other pubs) decide on their front page stories? Sometimes they flatly contradict one another (Jen Pregnant, Depressed Jen Losing Weight, Jen in Secret Meetings with Brad, Jen Ready to Wed Justin) so you figure one or both of them totally fabricated the story. I have been trying to calculate what (minute) element of truth actually surfaces in most of these cover stories?

I don't think they consult each other. And I suspect a lot of them are made up, or are fourth -- or 84th -- hand. Or, in my most cynical moments, that the publicists for some stars are aiding and abetting some of these stories to get publicity for their clients. Which is weird, but would hardly be the first time that's happened in Hollywood.

as Grace Kelly. Who cares if she's British? I say Emily Blunt for every lead role.

I like her a lot, but I don't think she's got the right look for it either. She's lovely, she just doesn't look like Kelly.

Maybe they will end up going with an unknown.

What about Carey Mulligan, now that she seems to have gone blonde?

I vetoed her as an option, too. Again, the look isn't right.

She's beautiful and a good actress, but doesn't have the exact same quality of sophistication, "cool blondness" that Kelly needs.

Courtney most likely is 17. Her mother got her plastic surgery so she could look like a 35 year washed up hooker. Seriously, I am wondering to whom to report this whole sad mess. It is child exploitation pure and simple. Marrying her off doesn't excuse it, just is part and parcel of the exploitation.

Maybe call Child Celebrity Protective Services. Seriously, there really should be such an organization. It could alleviate so many problems.

Now he can go as a zombie without purchasing a costume!

Yes, his fall was a real money and timesaver this Halloween. 

So I think this episode answered the question of Constance's paramour - that was the same guy right?  He does appear to be real and not a figment of her imagination.

Ah, yes, forgot to mention this in today's back-and-forth. Yes, same guy, so my imaginary guy theory is wrong.

And my similar theory regarding Larry could be wrong, too, as Paul pointed out. 

Those crazy Lohans, what will they do next?

Oh, the Lohanity. That might have to be the name of a new series of Celebritology blog posts.

What? The stories are mad up? There isn't a bat child who arrived from outer space who now dates Jennifer Anniston?

I know. Shocking, right? The stories sound so ... so real.

What about Diane Kruger as Grace Kelly? I think she could pull it off. She' s mid-30s and lovely.

That's a very interesting suggestion. I can see that.

Michelle Williams - she can look any age and pulls off cool & remote beautifully.

Agreed -- she is on our list.

Kirsten Dunst! Melancholia looks interesting, and she's the right age, look, etc.

She's very good in Melancholia. And she is the right age, but I still think of her as younger for some reason.

She's another worth considering but she doesn't immediately make me think Grace Kelly. 

Courtney Stodden as Grace Kelly? hahahahaha

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the question that tied the whole room together.

It's interesting that there is no tabloid coverage or speculation about some marriages, and others make front-page news. To me, the Kardashian-Humphries, for example, are uninteresting and haven't done anything; Steven Speilberg and Kate Capshaw, Tom hanks and Rita Wilson, Meryl Streep and her husband, Sissy Spacek and her husband ... all these people are far more interesting and each are bona fide stars in their own right, yet they keep themselves out of the headlines. How do they do it?

It's very simple: they don't generally do anything scandalous, they focus on their work and they don't have publicists scraping for any bit of attention they can get for them.

 

Amy Adams - Just needs to dye her hair blonde, and she's got that look.

Amy Adams is a good one. We should have included her.

I tend to think of her as playing more wide-eyed characters -- mainly because of "Junebug" and "Enchanted" -- but Kelly would be a nice departure for her. Would be interesting to see if she could pull it off.

Lindsay Lohan's community service should be watching over her father and making sure he doesn't assault anyone. Sorry, not a costume idea, unless, you want to go as Lindsay, but, then you'd have to arrive so late to the party....

Actually, Lindsay Lohan was a costume suggestion on this list. I don't think I have the cosmetics I need to pull it off, though.

Britney was the only celebrity in her 2-day marriage. Dennis Hopper and Michele Phillips (one of the Mamas) were married for only a few days -- and she would never, ever say what awful thing he apparently did that made her end it.

Sorry, I didn't think we were limiting this to two-celeb marriages necessarily. Wow, Hopper and Michele Phillips -- that is going back a ways.

So, is she or isn't she? Jessica Simpson is declared pregnant by OK Magazine, yet People won't commit. Who's a bump-watcher to believe?

As Sarah Hughes already noted, that OK Magazine story is misleading because it makes it seem like Simpson confirmed the news with them when she in fact did not.

That being said, photographic evidence strongly suggests she is expecting, she just hasn't confirmed it officially yet. 

Or Amy's doppelganger: Isla Fischer.

I think Kidman, Adams, Fisher and Naomi Watts should play sisters in a movie.

Honestly, I don't agree with the notion that the person who portrays someone has to look like that person. To paraphrase Laurence Olivier, "It's meant to be *acting*." These biopics start looking like impersonations instead of movies about the person, and if impersonations are the goal, might as well get Rich Little and a wig.

Well, that's true. An actress with real range and gravitas is just as important as appearance.  But in this case, there is such a mystique around Kelly that I feel like you have to be halfway there with the look and the vibe about the actress.

Or maybe I am just being too picky.

Purple hair is good. You could go all out and go as Barney.

Bite your tongue, my friend. Actually, I have had legitimately purple hair in the past and will probably again in the near future, Halloween aside. So, you know, there's that to look forward to.

Anyway, enough about my hair -- thanks, as always, for the questions and comments. We'll talk again at this time next week. See you -- and have a happy Halloween!

In This Chat
Jen Chaney
An accredited Celebritologist, Jen focuses on pop culture news and trends in the entertainment world.

In addition to overseeing movie content for the Post's Web site, she also writes regularly about film, DVDs and stars of screens large and small.

When she isn't blogging or at the movies, she's ... um ... probably at home, watching a movie.

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